Read: Ecclesiastes 12

For all our days are passed away in thy wrath: we spend our years as a tale that is told… so teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom. Psalm 90:9,12 

For many of us it is sundown. The days of our earthly pilgrimage are about to close. I anticipate the crossing. And there are good reasons for that. I have gotten old before my time. I hesitate to share this because I am reluctant to discuss myself. But on the other hand, I do not believe that this body, racked by the handicap of a loss of neurotransmitters, and the extreme difficulties of just living day by day with Parkinson’s, has been gifted to me for my learning alone. It is also for every other acquaintance and person I know. So, I welcome you to just bear with me as I share about the journey I am on.  

Is it wrong for me to fear that a dark specter of some childish sin would stain or tarnish the name of Christ or grieve His loving heart? Is it wrong to fear that in these lonely hours of inactivity, my spirit would shrivel and grow mean? Is it wrong to fear that now, being set aside because of disability, a life once lived in usefulness might turn ugly with the ravages of age? Is it wrong to want to run well unto the end? The outer decay of me is just the decay of a distorted body that writhes with uncontrolled movements. I want to trust God with the future, but I also want your prayers, that He would be merciful to me. Pray that I could have grace to finish well, rather than having a mind that is out of control and descends into chaos and dark terrors. The devil loves to deceive and bind aged minds in their weakness, and a blackness of despair can settle over a troubled soul. Brothers and sisters, friends, I am counting on you with my whole being. Pray that I may reach Heaven before dark. Sometimes I slip into fear. O gracious Father, forgive me.  

~James Baer  

Editors Note: The writer of this short article, James Baer, was faithful to the end and has passed on to his eternal reward. However, he would encourage us to remember now our Creator while it is called today. All too soon it will be sundown for you and I.