Have YOU lost faith in God?

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Angela’s Story

Dan’s Story   

Your Story?  

People often begin to lose faith in God as a result of their life experiences. Some face things that seem cruel or unbearable. Others are confronted with information presented from a secular viewpoint that rejects God.

Through experiences like these, people start questioning whether the God of the Bible truly has the answers to life’s problems. As they begin to doubt God, their faith begins to waver and weaken. As a result of their doubts, they may stop worshipping and communicating with God, which in turn, makes it even easier for their faith to diminish and eventually die.

God wants us to reach out to Him in faith, even when our faith feels very small. He wants us to trust Him even when it seems there is not much reason to do so. Several millennia ago, a man named Job experienced huge financial losses, deep grief in losing his children, and severe physical illness. At a time like this, Job would have seemingly had many reasons to doubt God and lose his faith. His wife even suggested that he curse God and die.

Job, however, rebuked her for her foolishness. Although he, too, at times questioned why these things were happening to him, he always returned to God in faith. His statement of faith in God is applicable for everyone who finds their faith wavering as a result of life experiences: “Though he [God] slay me, yet will I trust in him” (Job 13:15).

If you feel that you are losing faith in God or have already lost your faith, reach out to God anyway. Muster the small amount of faith you have to tell Him exactly how you feel and to seek His Word for answers to your life. Surround yourself with strong Christian people who will support you though your times of doubt. Not only will you experience the blessing of walking in relationship with a powerful God through the ups and downs of life, you can also anticipate a time when you will be received by Him and ushered into everlasting glory.

People lose faith in God for various reasons. On the following pages are two short accounts of people who lost their faith. 

Read Angela’s story on Page Two

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  1. Hi folks.

    Still uselessly waiting for God to do something for me. Still just silence, absence and unanswered prayers. I am trying to have faith in God to be here for me but can’t find anything outside of the Bible that indicates that God is here for me. Since my last post God has seen fit to destroy what little family I had left. Both my niece, and step niece have decided that they are boys. They both demand that everyone acknowledge that they are boys and that everyone call them by their made up boy names. I explained that I could not do that as it would be a lie, thus willing sinning again God. They both now say that if I love them I will do as they ask and have cut me from their lives until I do. They claim that it hurts their feelings to call them girls and by their real names. Now my brother says that I have to prioritize family first over a stupid fictitious God. His words. I told him that I couldn’t put family first as God demands to be first, as is right. He then told me that I would never be allowed to be at his house when the girls are there, until I put family first. So the last of my family is gone. Also my father died. I will be honest and tell you that I didn’t care for him. He abandoned us when I was 7. He wasn’t involved in my life. But the bad news is how he died. He died by dementia. Something else that could go wrong later in life. A while back I tried to help a homeless man by giving him a hot meal, a place to shower, new clothes, and a Bible. Turned out the police in the process of clearing parks of homeless people, took everything he had two days later. Now because of that police action He almost died in the cold. He will be losing all his fingers, half of his toes on his left foot, while losing the right foot. Also because of the near death experience he now is brain damaged. No more capable that a 4 year old. This just enforces that I am to poor to help. True help would have gotten him off the street before he got hurt. Proves that I am useless. I feel guilty about his current situation as I should have done more. Life just keeps getting worse.

    God bless you all, in Jesus holy name, Amen.

    • Kenneth, does God call us to a wonderful life here upon this earth? Did Jesus spend His life with everyone believing and obeying His word?
      There will be suffering and trials. These things are given to us that we might be over-comers through Jesus Christ. Yes, family is important and love is paramount in relationships. True love has a choice. We can love those who do not return our love, just as God loves all creation but only those receive Jesus will have eternal life.

    • I hear you, Kenneth. I cannot imagine the difficulty you are facing with your family. I struggle with my family as well. My son has Autism and is non-verbal. It is the most difficult challenge I have ever faced in my life. I have family members (one of them is my brother) that do not understand my son or even try to understand him. My brother was at my house on Christmas Eve and he made a mocking remark about my son because he was running around the house due to overstimulation. My brother’s remark really hurt and I haven’t seen or spoken to him since then.

      I cannot tell you to put God before your family or vice versa. You will know what is right in your heart. I have prayed and have held out for God countless times only to be let down and be left disappointed. I only try to do my best with my son and my family. If God wants to be a part of my life, my door is open. But my spiritual self is very drained and weary from all the waiting and praying. I hope things turn around for you and I soon.

      Good luck to you and I wish you well.

  2. “God wants us to reach out to Him in faith”
    No he doesn’t. The book of Romans teaches that God arranged us to be born unable to do anything good (Ch.1-3), and that he has to do everything (Ch.9). God gives us no room to love him; he used Adam to make us incapable of love or faith.

    • You are correct, if the book of Romans is Paul laying out his understanding of the doctrine of salvation. However, a careful reading of Romans reveals that Paul is actually addressing the relationships between Gentile believers and the Jewish believers, who had recently returned to Rome. If one reads the book again to answer the question as to Paul’s thesis, the reason he wrote the book, it becomes obvious that the context of Ch. 9-11 is that divide between Jew and Gentile believers. And the interlocutor with which he argues is not Arminian, but Jewish!
      The divine call of Abraham in Genesis is really about being selected for service, not about being chosen for salvation.
      Exodus does speak of God hardening Pharaoh’s heart to glorify God; it speaks first of Pharaoh hardening his own heart. Pharaoh chose, then God honored Pharaoh’s choice.
      God’s invitation is universal; those who accept it are predestined to salvation. It reminds me of two airplanes leaving the same airport at about the same time, one headed to New York, and the other to LAX. The airlines and the crew have predetermined where they plan to arrive. But the individual choices of each passenger determine which plane they board. God is sovereign and He has chosen the destiny of those who accept His invitation (and the destiny of those who don’t).
      God does want us to reach out to Him in faith. He is the initiator! The only thing we are capable of is accepting His offer!

    • Hunting for scripture that suit our desires and thinking will only lead us in a path of destructive logic. James 4:8, Draw nigh to God, and He will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts… 1 John 1:9, If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Even in the OT God desires us to seek and search, Jer 29:13, …and ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with your heart. We are commanded to love one another, even as God has loved us. Is God’s love conditional? For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten Son… God does not reside in the time, space, matter environment that we do. Due to His sovereign power He can interact with creation and know the result of His actions. Does a just God exclude those that desire to know Him? 2 Peter 3:9, The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance. Matt 5:6, Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.

      • That would be just well since we know that Jesus were the way, but Christianity teaches that the church and orthodoxy and proselytism to Christianity is required to get to Jesus; or “extra ecclesiam, nulla salus.” This means that no matter how you seek after God, if you don’t pick the right religion, Jesus won’t save you. A hindu could follow Jesus’ commandments and love his neighbor, his God and his gods (we call them angels), better than a whole country’s worth of Christians, but because he “rejected” the right religion, he goes to hell.
        He could absolutely worship Jesus in all but name, but because he rejects our church and our claims about Jesus’ doings, and our threats of God’s wrath, and our ideas of sin and holiness, God makes him “without excuse” and “gives him over” to being a depraved monster, and counts his faith, attitude, and the works thereof as “filthy rags” and sends him to hell.
        We teach that if he rejects our story of Jesus as we know him (The Son of God, on top of being the uncreated goodness that he worships,) he doesn’t “believe upon” Jesus and is retroactively (John 3:17) condemned for all the sins in his life. And if Christendom’s hypocrisy is the reason that he rejects the Church, the church has had a hand in his damnation. Any court would excuse him of his error except for God’s (Romans 1:20).
        All of evangelism rests itself on the threat of eternal torture for believing in the wrong theology. This is why the church has such a reputation for wickedness and hypocrisy in our ranks. We’re basically a protection racket with the power of hellfire as our mob.

        • Multiple religions claiming different things cannot be many truths. They can all be wrong, or one of them can be true and the rest wrong. Multiple gods with all of them claiming power, omniscience, and sovereignty could not exist in eternity together. Therefore a single creator-heavenly father-savior of mankind is the only equation that fits the narrative of truth. Find the truth and find God, the one true and living God who is eternal with no beginning nor end, the alpha and omega. The path to heaven is a single way, just as God is one, with Jesus Christ holding the path to eternal life. Why, because He has shown that He, and He alone, has the power of life over death by coming forth from grave.

        • Yeah, you’re saying exactly what I said, with more pious words. It still means that Jesus’ love stops at the doors of the church, and that because light is a particle, it means that you can’t tolerate the possiblity that light is a wave. It also still means that Jer. 29 does not apply today, since there are those who seek God but will not find him, because Jesus made the way narrow. In Christianity, God stopped rewarding the pious when Jesus died, and now only rewards Churchmembers, sending everyone else to hell.

        • There is a unique relationship between the foreknowledge of God and His calling, His interaction into the lives of His creation, and the ability of creation to exert the choice of their own desires. Gods’ foreknowledge does not exempt nor dictate His interaction in our lives, even though we make our choice to walk the path of right living or one of destruction. It appears you see God as as an unjust creator, which if he was, he could not be God. On the contrary God is just (Deu 32:4) and His ways past finding out. He is Eternal, True and Holy. God rewards those who seek His face and desire His will in their life. Read Matt 5:6. I pray you find the truth through Jesus Christ.

  3. I used to pray every day and go to church every week. At one point I thought God was answering my prayers with a loving partner. It turned out to be a nightmare and nothing I’ve prayed for has come to fruition. I mean does everything happen for a reason? Its seems to me that most of the jerks in life get what they want so how can God really be there advocating for all us. Loosing faith very quickly.

    • Susan, I feel the same way you do. I’ve asked the same questions. I’ve done the same things you’ve done. I’ve learned that I go to church to hear the words of God and the sermon. It seems there’s always something in it for me. I don’t go for the people. I don’t dwell on a partner anymore. I have too much to do by myself. Someone else is a distraction. I’ve stopped praying by asking God for this and that so I won’t be disappointed. He’s not Santa Claus. He listens to our wants but if they’re not right then he’ll give us what we need instead. I’ve made mistakes going it alone without God involved. I wonder why I’m here and what is the purpose when he could’ve wiped us out at the first sins. Sometimes I feel like an ant under a magnifying glass. I do know He never meant for me to be in a family of abusive strict alcoholic Catholic parents. That’s their sin though and they’ll be punished. I can’t dwell on them or they waste more of my time. They’ve taken up enough of my time. Hating them makes me sick. I can’t let them do that. They’re the sick ones. God can help me if I don’t give up. Sometimes I don’t know what I should pray so I’m just quiet. Rather than ramble I just clear my mind and leave it alone. God knows what to do. If I jump in too fast or soon I’ll probably drown. I don’t know His reasons so I can’t answer your question. To know everything about God and what He’s thinking is impossible. He’s not a human with our minds. We don’t need to know everything. It would blow our minds. I think this is where faith and trust come in. I read the story of Job. He asked questions and didn’t understand. He realized though that God created everything and is the highest and that’s all we need to know. He never turned against God. I hope this helps. This is my take on the situation. This is how I approach it. I pray God will give you peace and lead you you in the right direction and you will know.

      “Let go and let God”

  4. I’ve been an atheist for more than a decade. ‘used to be a christian but stopped believing in an imaginary entity.
    If there really is a merciful god, why then did he allow millions of innocent people to die or suffer.
    Surely, you can’t always blame man and his original sin for the suffering that has been ongoing for centuries.
    This god could have done something to prevent this carnage, but no, he allowed it to happen, if he ever existed.
    Religion only divided people, created more hate and intolerance.
    Prayer amounted to nothing, even if you pray a million times, as proven by other people.
    Since becoming an atheist, my life has been a whole lot better and I’ll never trade it when I used to believe.

  5. I know the god exists, he used to work for me 2 years back. he still works for others. But doesnt work for me anymore. I had been in deep faith a month back until he shattered my faith.

    I didnt ask for anything to him, but on a very sad day I asked him to come and console me somehow. just tell me everythings gonna be alright.He didnt come, ni sign no signal. I kept crying and slept crying only. The day I realized, more I pray to got more I get attached to him. the more I am attached to him, higher gets my expectation. And when the expectations dont show up, you are hurt. and when you are hurt you need sympathy. So i stopped praying, so that i have no love for him, and no expectations from him. I feel i am on my own now. I know I am weeker now than before, would have been much better in his shadow, but that leaves me hurt now when he doesnt show up. I wish I was always like before, but loving him now is hurting myself. I know he can vanish me or everything just in a sec, but what can I do. Cant sleep crying everyday.

    I used to pray before bed and after bed, and few times during the day, not to ask for anything but just spirit to keep pray him forever. I used to tell him show me a good dream tonight or atleast come in my dream and talk to me or just smile but never did he.

    I used to be a very good person, not anymore. I hope he sparks the love in me again soon.

    • Agrawatl, I am very sorry you have been going through this. It’s unfair and cruel. I have come to the same conclusion. *God*does*not*care*. He cares not for the lamb or the lion. You can still be a good person and not rely on a narcissistic God to judge you. We keep making excuses for a God who is dispassionate about us. We try to make him like an earthy father, which is a big mistake. If one were to read the bible objectively, then the theme is simple. Believe in me or I will torture you for all eternity. He has set impossible goals for us, allows (and inflicts) indescribable pain and suffering, and then torments us with judgment when we succumb that to that pain and torture. How is this all-loving, all-compassionate, and all-merciful? Focus on the word “all”. With that word, he fails in every aspect. I choose to reject him and all he stands for, as he will gladly impart misery and pain for his own perverted enjoyment. No thanks. Instead, focus on what *YOU* can do to make your life better and don’t rely on him. Pull away your mind, heart, and soul and look inside of yourself for peace. Life will continue to be hard. It’s the only way to break free of the lie that God is loving. Otherwise, you will torture yourself to insanity, which I am sure he would love.

  6. I’ve lost faith in God and Jesus. I’m questioning their existence. Yes, I’ve read the entire chapter of Job. I hate to whine about my past childhood abuse, crushed dreams, and sisters with few problems. All my parents cared about was their catholic beliefs and dad didn’t want children at all. He moved us away from family and friends to drink himself to death. Our Mother didn’t come to our rescue. Yet, she lives the good life. My Sisters and I have broken relationships and problems with our kids. One never wanted any, another’s son ran away, and the other gave up her baby for adoption. They have few health problems but seems I have them all. One after another. I get a break, and here they come again. There’s no real healing. I went to college for nursing but couldn’t finish because of this. I don’t work in nursing because of this. I started on welfare and finally got off of it and now once again, living on welfare. Why wouldn’t God want me to succeed? Why did he give me all of the problems? I don’t want to hear it’s for a reason or to strengthen me or my faith, because it’s done the opposite. I went to church and saw people with yes, problems, but at least someone else to be supportive. I read my devotionals and Bible but nothing changed. Everything worsens. I don’t enjoy life and have no purpose. This is a cruel game God plays, if he exists. No, I’m not suicidal. I take my happy pills and talk to a counselor who doesn’t judge me and understands why I feel the way I do. I’m tired of this. Jesus heals? Where’s my healing? God loves me? Why doesn’t he bless my efforts? Everytime I go to the doctor it’s something else. I’m not living, I’m surviving. It could be worse? Cancer? I’ve had that too. I won’t turn to atheism, but understand their reasoning. Give me a reason to believe. A reason to have faith. It seems it’s all a waste of time and energy.

    “Insecure people judge others”

    • I hear what you are saying, and the hand that’s been dealt to you would certainly seem unfair. But then, what makes me think that life is fair? While I haven’t (yet) experienced all the painful things that you have, I believe that how I end up at the end of my life depends not so much on what happens to me, but more on how I choose to respond to those things.
      If a potato, an egg, and ground coffee beans are boiled in the same hot water, one gets hard, one gets soft, and one changes the water, creating a beverage most of us enjoy. What they are made of determines how they ‘respond’ to the same circumstance, and what effect it has on them.
      The fact that you have survived this far leads me to believe that God is still extending His love to you, inviting you to a closer relationship with Him. God isn’t finished with us yet!

    • dear Pamela…

      in this earth we all face problems. yes God allows. But sit in the presence of God more for His reply. God will direct you by Bible verses.

      you can enjoy the life among all negatives


  7. I’ve been a Christian for around 9 years. Ever since I was 22. I’m 30 now. I lived in rebellion the whole time. It all started when I read about the unpardonable sin. I began having sever intrusive thoughts everyday. Still do. I always fought to live my own way. Now I feel like God tells me I “labor in vain” as I asked for wisdom to overcome these terrible trials and afflictions. I can literally feel evil spirits bite me and stab me. I’m in absolute torment. I feel hopeless and I feel burning inside. All because of my sexual sins and idolatry. I have no peace for years now but the last three months have been the worst ever. It was only after I tried to repent that these severe trials came. I kept hoping to be brought out and be reconciled to God. But I fear my worst fears have came to me. I’ve been fasting for around twenty days and only ate twice. I’m no better than I was than from when I started. I fear if I eat it’s going to be worse punishment for me. I hate my life so bad.

    • Hi James,

      I am so sorry about you suffering. I have my own suffering which I am working through and I understand demon oppression. Christians can be oppressed of demons….they look for open doors to oppress and sin is an invitation for a demon. When we are willfully disobeying God, we are agreeing with satan, the father of lies. So all the intrusive thoughts are not yours but demonic and sin/rejecting God’s truth has allowed them a right. The good news is it is not too late. I have been working this through with a Christian ministry for over a year and many strongholds that I’ve allowed have been broken and I can recognize them now and quickly reject lies and embrace truth. You should go through your life identifying the people and situations you were put in that hurt/harmed you. Identify rejection, violence, neglect etc. How did it make you feel (violated, rejected, abandoned), what did it make you think (I can’t trust men/women, God is not good, He didn’t help me, I am fearful), FORGIVE the offenders (if only to be obedience to Christ and to be free…forgiveness is not saying what they did is right…we need to forgive…unforgiveness is a STRONGHOLD for satan). Then REPENT to God for sinning (when we were sinned against, we chose to abuse others, be angry, rebel against God). Ask for forgiveness of your sins as you have forgiven others. God forgives you! Now RENOUNCE any strongholds, wrong thinking, etc that you have allowed yourself to think and CANCEL any demonic assignments, satanic spells/rituals, plans of attack, etc. that the enemy has over you from your forgiven sins. SUBMIT yourself to God (obedience out of love for your freedom in Christ and gift of eternal life) and RESIST the devil and he will flee. satan is no match for God or for a spirit-filled child of God. Also, ASK to be filled with the Holy Spirit of God. READ God’s inspired Word, the Bible). Get sound teaching (people who are well versed and rooted in scripture/TRUTH. Repeat for all sexual relationships/sinning against your own body. PRAY always with thanksgiving. When we don’t walk in truth our whole life is a mess. And it doesn’t matter our background, what was done to us, if we want to hold onto that and allow lies to be our truth, we will be messed up forever! When you feel a spiritual attack, put on PRAISE & WORSHIP music. Worship the King of Kings! Demons will flee in terror! And they are probably attaching you more because you are aware of your sin and know that God is your hope and help and they don’t want that!!! And as far as the unpardonable sin, that is blaspheming the Holy Spirit which means saying the works of the Spirit are works of satan. READ the BIBLE! You will become spiritually strong! Also when demons attack, pray for the salvation of all those you know, pray for them to come to the knowledge of God’s mercy and grace and they will repent and be born again!! those demons wont hang around for long if you keep doing that. When they torment you, ready the Bible, when they harass you, worship God, when they bully you, PRAY! Be of good cheer JESUS has overcome the world. We will have trouble but He is with us until the end and He has given us His authority to TRAMPLE snakes and CRUSH scorpions. Be gentle as a dove and wise as a serpent. Live for God, it is the only way for you Christian! God bless you!!!!! Praying for you!

  8. Hello folks,

    Still existing, no closer to the help I feel that I need from God. Still in the exact same situation. I have completely read the Bible, cover to cover, since the last time I posted here. All that did was confirm that God doesn’t care what we go through in this life. It confirmed that God is only concerned about Himself, His glory and how He can use us. The Bible says that God works everything for the good. Who’s good? Not ours. The Bible says that God will fulfill all our hearts desires. Not how it sounds. God will only fulfill all of our hearts desires when those desires are for what He wants. Thus answering His own desires not ours. God has a plan to give us a hope and a future. Forgets to say that is only for infinity. I guess that I fell for all this talk of what God wants for us. God wants us to be happy. God doesn’t care if we are happy. God wants us to be successful. Not at all. God wants us to be grateful for what He has done for us. It looks like God stopped doing anything for us after Jesus was resurrected. God wants to help us. He never does. God wants to speak to us. Nothing but silence. God’s actions appear contrary to His word. Despite all this I still keep looking to God/Jesus for some sign, that I can understand, of them being here for me. Still nothing. How do you continue when your only hope is for after death? I don’t know how to reconcile God’s inaction to His word. Thanks and may God bless you, in Jesus name, Amen

    • Wow,
      My heart ache went I saw your comment I realized you are in great pain. I do believe God love us if there was no purpose for our lives we would have been dead. the fact that we are still alive still breathing not in the hospital not in pain is a reason to give God thanks, we could be so much worse there is always worse yes there is better but I have to believe there is worse so I give God thanks for the things that I do have for the good things but I do have in my life I give God thanks. Try to be grateful for the small things and I think this will help you God bless you.

      • Yes things could be worse. I try to be grateful for what I have. I just can’t find a way to be grateful for a life that is completely worthless, purposeless. A life of poverty. A life that God isn’t involved in is worse than death to me. Death is one step closer to Heaven. To bad I can’t just kill myself, that would mean Hell bound. Or is this actually Hell. Hell on Earth. Only God knows. Everyday is another heartbreaking experience. Not trying to discourage anyone with my inability to comprehend God’s lack of involvement in my life. That is my trial, and I am failing.

        Well sorry for spouting my problems, they aren’t your problem. I guess that I will stop the prattle. God bless you, in Jesus name, Amen.

      • Things can’t always be worse, sometime God plan for your life is your worst nightmare. A nightmare of hell on earth so bad breathing is not a gift, it’s further punishment. Just because God is not done torturing us in this life, doesn’t mean there is one moment of peace in your future. God has proven to me beyond a showdown of a doubt that He is completely incapable of love for me, because if He had for even a fraction of a microsecond He wouldn’t have been so selfish and cruel as to create me. All God cared about is what He could get me to do in this life, I’m nothing more than His slave to torture and abuse for His benefit. And then God doesn’t even have the decency to let me die, but forces an eternity of punishment on me too.

        • Sometimes, especially when we don’t see God actively working in our lives, it is easy to give in to discouragement and focus on our troubles. I believe it is important for me to focus on truth rather than on how I feel. We can know that the Bible, the Word of God really is true, that it is forever settled in heaven, and that we can absolutely depend on it. Because Jesus rose from the dead exactly as he said he would, we can know that He actually is God the Son. May we focus on the truth that God loved the world enough to give us His only Son to lay down His life for us—for me and for you! Jesus Christ is still the eternal Word of God, and the Bible is still the unchanging true account of God’s love for each one of us.

        • Hi Ann,

          I can relate to what you posted here.I too struggle with this same thing. I find no proof that God loves me either. I imagine that most people are in the same bout. I’m learning that God’s concept of love is far greater than anything I can conceive. That God’s ways and thoughts aren’t the same as ours.

          Now I don’t know anything about you or your life but let me explain where I am going with this. You obviously have access to the internet. I would guess that you have a residence(shelter). You are still alive thus you most have food to eat. Do you have family? Some of us don’t. Are you living in a war zone? Do you have mobility(can get around)? These are a few things that I have been reminded of myself. Grateful for what you have and don’t have. It is hard to trust anyone(even God) when things are falling apart and you can’t find hope for your “future”. Are you looking to this life for your future or to an eternal life with God in Heaven. Yes it is rough when you can’t find anything worthwhile in this temporary miserable life. Look to eternity for the things that matter. Turn to Jesus in this time of trouble. Don’t expect your troubles to go away though as God said that we would have trials and tribulations in this life. For the most part, God doesn’t care about this life, He is concerned with eternal matters not temporary ones.

          I am not trying to discourage you or infer that your problems are not real. I am just telling you that your problems are the same as countless other people in this world. Your problems are common to all of mankind, not just you. But I do have a bit of “good” news for you. John 12: 25, “Whoever loves his/her life will lose it, and whoever hates his/her life will keep it for eternal life.” Your post seems like you hate your life. If so then rejoice in God’s grace as you have taken a step closer to God.

          Turn to Jesus for salvation first and always. Read your Bible, as I am doing. Learn from it. As I am learning, the struggle won’t end until Jesus returns and ushers his people into Heaven. It’s this broken sinfilled world that causes all the problems. All we can do is accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, and remain faithful no matter what comes our way.

          I hope this helps. Everyone needs a little help once in a while. God bless you Ann,in Jesus holy name, Amen

    • Hi Kenneth. This is exactly how I feel. You ask the same questions I ask. I too want proof. Sometimes life’s been so horrific that proof of God’s existence and love is required at some point. One person who responded to my post basically said life’s not fair. Well, duh. My question was why is it so much better for some than others? Why is it better for bad people than good? That person also said all I need is a change of attitude, basically. If it were that easy it would’ve been done already. What does mind-over-matter have to do with the bible anyway. I hope you find some of the answers you need. I will keep questioning and searching until I get mine. I think as long as we search and give God a chance to respond he will make himself known . I hope God Blesses you. ❤️

      • Hi Pamela,

        Thanks for your reply.

        Just change the way you think. To me this statement makes no sense, what so ever. I don’t know how to just change my mind. The change of mind is always in conjunction with some kind of evidence. You probably have heard this same kind of thing. I have lost count of the times this crap has been brought up to me. I definitely understand your frustration. I do wonder how many chances I have to give to God though. Over 40 years of chances already given for God to act. How many chances are there in 40+ years? Yes I understand frustration all to well. There seems to be lots of people like us suffering from God’s silence and absence. So you are not alone. ❤

        God bless you, in Jesus name, Amen.

    • Hi kenneth feeling the same way like you do.hang in there my friend.Godbless

  9. What’s the aim of human life on this planet and, on a more private level, what is our unique, particular person function?

    • I didn’t get made when people put me down I get hurt. I am 74 little hearing don’t have a hearing aide (I ordered one) no mater what I try so hard to do my job I get constant criticism. They say put your hearing aide in . Has God forgotten me I try so hard to theith, do every thing right . I’m all alone ever God for got me

    • We live in a broken world; a world where, because of sin, things often do not function the way they were intended to function. Everywhere we look we find brokenness, distortion, and perversion of the good things God made. In that context then, what is the aim of human life? Another way you could ask that question, is “what does it mean to be authentically human? To fulfill our human vocation?”

      I think the Bible gives us a three-fold answer. The first two answers are found in Deuteronomy 6:4–5 and Leviticus 19:18, and quoted by Jesus in answer to the religious leaders of his day in the Gospels;

      Mar 12:29 “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this…
      Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’
      The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
      Mark 12:29-31 NIV

      The third one is found in Genesis, when God first created Adam and Eve. Their job was to care for and look after the natural world of plants and animals as the “image”, or the representative and steward of God in the world.

      The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.
      Genesis 2:15 NIV

      So what is the three-fold function of authentic human life? To live in this broken world in a way that seeks to restore and fulfill these three objectives;

      1. Right relationship with God
      2. Right relationship with my fellow man
      3. Right relationship with all creation

      The second part of your question is much harder. I do not know what your unique, particular call from God is. God calls us to many different corners of the globe to lead many differently shaped lives as He uses us to accomplish, in some small way, these three objectives.

    • Hello,

      The point of life is to serve and bring glory to God. As far as your personal calling, I don’t know. Only God knows that. I too am searching for my personal God given role. I have been told, pray to God that He reveals your personal purpose. Then wait for God to respond. Here is the hard part, the miserable waiting. God will respond in His own time, not ours. Just remember that it is God’s will be done not ours. Everything for the benefit of God. While waiting for God to respond, use the time to get a better relationship with God.

      I hope this is helpful. God bless you Florentino, in Jesus name, Amen

  10. I handed my life and situation over to God and eight years later, I am no closer to breakthrough in healing, finances, family circumstances. I know the questions you have and yes, I do believe I have obeyed God in every area of my life and allowed the necessary growth spurts etc… It seems as though the whole journey has been about growing but I just dont have the faith and hope to continue. I’m 56 and it’s getting more and more doubtful that I’ll have a life worth living. I do not say this out of self pity but pure fact. I don’t think I can stomach another Bible verse coz I’m all meditated out on them.. and no, I really haven’t tried to do things in my own strength. I know there’s a God but He’s not going to give me a life of meaning. LAS

    • Go to different churches youre looking in the wrong places have different people pray for you ive lost my belief in gods existence but then i remember the miracles and prophets do exist there out there you gotta search god doesnt drop stuff to u if u dont search seek and youll find go the extra mile stop waiting and push god doesnt just give you what you want he gives you what you need and theres so much to it that i can see youre lacking if youre hungry for god you will never stop looking

    • Has anything gotten better? Reading your post it could have been me. Only now I’ve slipped into not caring that I’m not righteous. I get it. God doesn’t care if we’re okay only if we serve. And I guess the world has hold of me bc I’m exhausted and it’s easier to just be miserable than to try to be in line with God and suffer so much. He’s never come through on any big issue. Every time I’ve asked for his help to turn to him it’s like a joke. I used to believe I could suffer for whatever his purpose was for me. Now I’m just annoyed bc I’m so tired and he’s made it clear – it’s always just about him. I didn’t ask to be made. I have no joy in this life that’s lasting. I’ve grown to hate myself intensely bc of what he made me.

    • I’m in the same boat, but it’s been 27 years for me. I held on in faith for so long that now things are so bad that there is no miracle left that God could ever do to make it have been worth it

    • Hang in there friend.

  11. What do you do when your under spiritual attack mentally and when I pray GOD does not answer me and you start losing trust in him?

    • What makes you think God isn’t answering? God’s answers take many different forms, and some of these we may not want to accept as His answer. I’d advise talking to a pastor or older person who knows you and might be able to give you better answers.

    • I have been in your situation for months. What you should do is stay true to reality. I used to be afraid to face reality by fear that I may lose my faith by doing it. But in reality, that’s what you should do, God is, he is very real. Jesus said, “if your eyes are good your whole body will be full of light”. That means, if you can see then you’ll be full of truth and Jesus is truth. I’ve been through all of this and got out of it today. I can tell you, I’ve been through it and know how I got out of it. Fear makes you afraid to face reality, making you feel like reality may make you lose faith. But the antidote to fear is going against and at it with reality. Don’t doubt God, I used to question, which troubled me, I thought I had schizophrenia but it was simple fear, and a lack of trust in God. I’ve learned that what Jesus said was true, and everything he said is. Such as, “you can either be with me or against me”. Similarly when I got scared of God or started to doubt him, I realized that when I fear and doubt I let place to ignorance. Ignorance breeds ignorance, but the Light gives good fruit. I was told that the evil one was the prince of darkness (ignorance) so if you keep dwelling on questions about God while doubting him ignorance will give you all the lies to keep you away from him. I’ve been there and have seen it all. This is because you can’t be in the light unless you answer these questions with God himself. And for this you need to believe in the truth. As Jesus said it, if you have ears listen. If your eyes are no good your whole body will be in darkness so see and listen. He is the truth, use the senses that you were given and dwell on knowledge of the truth. If you dwell on doubts, fear, ignorance you’ll bear bad fruit because of its bad tree. You’ll realise it. But choose to dwell on the truth which bears good fruit. I hope that helped you, I was in the same situation I know how overwhelming it can be. It feels like hell when you doubt but don’t dwell on them and live off of truth, knowledge of God and live in his peace. We love you sincerely ❤️????

  12. Hi LB,
    Thanks for the reply. Appreciate that you took time to send me a message. I agree with what you say, but I don’t have anyone that knows me in that way. The only family I have is a brother that doesn’t believe in God or Jesus. I also have a niece that is just a kid. All of my close friends moved away, to far to visit. I can’t afford to go to church for help, stuck in poverty. All I can do is try the best I can, alone. But thanks and God Bless You, in Jesus name, Amen

    • Hi Ken,
      I sent you an email in reply. If you don’t get it, check your spam folder or drop me another note here. I included a few links and sometime that can trigger a spam filter. LB

    • https://kingdomcity.com/
      Here is a website u can watch all videos on Sunday service
      There might be people u can reach out from this website .
      I’m sorry u had go through so much but just keep going okay

  13. Hello people,
    I’m still here, still struggling with things. I still haven’t heard from God. Nothing has changed….

    • Hi Ken, I’m not trying to be nasty, but you need some face to face help from someone who knows you and can give you knowledgeable advice. I’d love to see a positive post from you. Tell us a few things that are going good for you. LB

    • i’m right there with you. Silence.

  14. I have felt like I lost God or my way to him I pray for others not myself I feel like I’m not worthy and I just lost a good friend recently and it’s made my depression worse my life with my wife feels like an empty shell though I know she loves me God’s presence isn’t here my faith is not what it should be I don’t know what to do I just want to cry I hear his call but I don’t know what to do if there is no awnser just send prayers please

    • Take the first step brother,,, God is waiting for you sir,im 27,,not married yet i know God will bless me with a loving husband someday,,, in the meantime im focused on my relationship with God, fight your depression with prayer,, offer your worship to God every day,, pray every day,,, He is mighty,,, i promise you,, He will show up????,,, im praying for you and your wife ????

  15. Pastor Jeffrey A. Muchow

    Most of the reaction against Christianity seems to dwell on the sickness of the sinners in the church. As a Lutheran Pastor for 26 years I would agree that the Church is a hospital for very sick sinners. Regardless of that, I believe because of the Resurrection of Jesus and the claims of Jesus Himself. This does not negate the hurt caused by many of God’s people through the years. I just can’t get past the resurrection and the impact that it makes on my belief. All the other stuff is just more of the absurdity which points to the Cross, which people still call foolish today. Because Jesus rose from the grave I believe, despite any tangible evidence to the contrary. People will always let me down. But, that is because we are all born to be blind, dead, enemies of God. But, thanks be to God for Jesus and all the hope that is found in Him and Him alone. Therefore, I will stay with the Lutheran Church – Missouri Synod despite its faults and weaknesses. It is a place, a conduit, where perhaps I can make a change to show people and tell people about the grace and love of Jesus. I know that this sounds like I’m bypassing the many hurts people have, but it is simply the way that I choose to keep my eyes on Jesus–not the church, not the ineptitude and hypocrisy of the people, nor the strange interpretations of how the truth of Christ is portrayed or put into doctrine. I believe in Jesus and the Bible because of and only because of the fact that Jesus rose from the Grave. In the words of Stan Lee, “‘Nuff said!”

  16. Hi Angelica
    Sorry this response took so long. Does the Bible say that we are to turn to God in every situation. To me that means that I am not to do anything without God’s guidance and approval.
    Besides, God has left me suffering depression that clouds the mind, making it hard to think. So far every plan I have had has fallen apart, I failed miserably. I know what I want to do for a purpose/meaning. I want to help homeless people to get off the street,permanently. Again God is nowhere to be found. I have been stuck in poverty my whole life. Has not shown me the way out of poverty, let alone shown me how to pay for that endeavor. Basically, as things are now, I don’t have any hope to ever achieve anything. No skills or talents. Just plain stuck until God gets active in my life. Do you know what it feels like to know that you are nothing without God, and nothing with God? To know you need God’s help, and God isn’t helping. I’m sure that what I want to do is within God’s will, according to the Bible. Still nothing. I’m also making care packages for the homeless, but failing due to a shortage of funds. I know that God is there, I also know that God remains silent. I don’t understand why God won’t help me to glorify Him with my ideas. I didn’t mean to write this much, so please forgive the length. Thanks for your kind words and may God Bless You, in Jesus name, Amen.

    • Kenneth–I read your post and have empathy for you. I know the feeling ‘that God isn’t there’ or He seems “silent” to our problems. I used to refer to this as ‘God the absentee landlord.’ Seems like He’s not very interested in our travails doesn’t it.

      I spent 10 months incarcerated for a crime I didn’t commit. That hellish experience shattered my faith. I cried out to Him over and over to intervene and bring the truth to my case–but that didn’t happen. The amerikan justice system is so corroded that one cannot grasp it unless one has experienced it personally.

      But the Word is full of scripture that recognizes the corruption of human ‘judges’ and their inability to be just and seek the truth.

      And scripture also tells us of man feeling distanced from God as in your case and mine.

      But we have no choice but to continue to trust in Him–even when He seems far far away. Jesus warned us that we would face travails and be persecuted in this world IF WE ARE HIS FOLLOWERS. He said “Count the cost” of following Him.

      My own personal suspicion is that our nation has strayed so far into sin collectively that He may be removing His protective hand from our nation. We are not the nation, spiritually or morally, that we were in the 1950’s. Michael the angel was dispatched due to prayers from earth and He was impeded in the air by satanic forces.

      Don’t give up my brother. I know that I have been a faulty weak doubting Christian and deserve absolutely nothing in the way of favor from the Lord especially considering my blasphemy and anger towards Him. I richly deserve hell.

      But the Lord, in His great kindness, has said that “He remembers that we are but dust.” He in other words knows we are frail perishing and prone to letting Him down through our whining and lack of faith.

      You are obviously kind in heart by your words and He “sees the heart.” May Christ send to you His spirit to lift you up and bring joy to your heart. He has promised to fight our battles for us. Peace be upon you sweet brother. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and letting your brothers and sisters pray for you.

      • Thanks, I appreciate your kind words. I just don’t know what to do, or what God wants me to do. How can I do what he commands when he is as you say “absentee landlord”. I find that God’s silence is the biggest obstacle to a relationship with God. Then I get even more depressed. I’m told that God doesn’t bring us harm. Maybe it’s me,but isn’t depression caused by God’s silence a form of harm? Sorry that you have had to suffer for nothing. It just isn’t fair. It seems that God gives everything to people who don’t even believe in Him, and nothing but pain and suffering to those who love Him. Thanks again and may God Bless You, in Jesus name, Amen

      • Dear friend, I don’t know your name but your post blew me away! If anyone has a reason to hate God it would be you. I would be so angry and bitter. The questions you originally asked and the way you originally felt would remain with me. It must have taken a faith and strength more than human,to keep you from giving up. Things really could’ve gone awry in prison or when you got out. I hope you’re doing something in the ministry now because your story is powerful. Thank you for posting. ????

    • I feel the same way, reading your comment it felt as I could have written it.

    • Thank you for the perspective. I lost my faith in a church after an experience & forgot to keep my eye on the prize of the high calling of God. I googled “losing faith” and came to this article by God’s grace.


      • Hi Jamodd, I wouldn’t even know where to start as far as recommendations for your living situation and monetary needs. You do need people reaching out to you and helping you. Those who have more should help those who have less. I would start with a Community Action center if you have one. They might have resources for housing and food. For medical care try the local health department. Nothing for a hit and run? Another attorney might have a different perspective. I hope one of THE MINISTERS ON HERE reads your post and responds. You are in desperate need of spiritual help and uplifting of every kind. Counseling and pastoral counseling is offered at many churches and should be FREE. Being in a loving, non-judgemental church is definitely where you need to be if you want to go to church. Someone needs to reach down and pull you out of the pit! I hope you will once again feel God’s power and Jesus’ healing. I wait for it too. Many on here wait for it. I’ve had it before it will come again. ????

    • Your making the care packages for the homeless reminds me of the story of the starfish. Where the man is walking along the beach throwing the starfish back in that washed up. Another man comes along and says why bother there are too many to save, it’ doesn’t matter. So the man picks one up and throws it back into the ocean and says well it’ matters to this one. Even if you give one care package a day, even a week, it mattered to that person. So don’t stress about not being able to save them all. Just do as many as you can. I understand your frustrations. That’s why I found this page. I’m going through my own stuff and though I know how blessed I am because my needs are met and I have wonderful people in my life, I’m feeling betrayed by a few on top of other things. Then this year is just full of sadness anyway. I saw above where you said you couldn’t afford to get help from church. Did you mean counseling? If they are charging you for counseling at a church then you’re definitely in the wrong church. My pastor would never even think abut charging us because he worries about our well-being and I know we have a bigger church around here that offers free counseling from regular counselors I believe. So just give a local church a call and ask them. There’s bound to be one more than happy to help.

  17. Hi,

    I come from a dysfunctional family.Apart from my dad,I was not close to anyone in my family(mom,siblings).Till date I couldnt make out the reason as to why do they treat my like an outsider.I lost my dad this year.I live in an area where neighbours are worst to the core.Eavesdropping,spying,irritating,harassing,bullying,I might run out of words to describe these people behaviour. Specefically two families are there who are just behind our life.I have caught them without their knowledge on several ocassions trying to hear what we speak at home,hiding and seeing what we do etc etc.I dont know what to do.Its like as though we have been caged,24 hours under surveillance.We just cant do anything.They get fun out of it.They have bad mouthed against us and the sad part is that people like them and trust them.They are doing this just for us only.They are enjoying it.Its been more then a year.I have been praying to lord as to why he is testing us,why he is turning a blind eye?I am clueless and dont know what to do.Please advice.

    • I’m not sure that I can give good advice since I know so little about the situation. If possible, go to someone you trust, like a local pastor and speak to him about it. I’m not sure what you really can do about this except consider moving.

    • Hi Mani,

      I’m sorry to hear about your situation. First, I’d like to encourage you. You are not alone in coming from a dysfunctional family…most of us do, not that that is an encouragement but that there are plenty who share your struggle. My mom died in December and my father is still alive yet I am not close to him. He is very strange in that he has always treated strangers better than family but I see it as his own issue in that deep down he must not feel good about himself that he needs the approval of strangers. If you were to see some interactions, you would think I was the stranger and the others his family. It’s just really weird. He is an unrepentant sinner and a perverse man. He persecutes me because of my beliefs. I pray for his salvation. I’ve never done him harm. So it is a spiritual battle always with those who reject Christ and those who are called by His Name. So rejoice when you are persecuted!! We are His!

      As far as your neighbors are concerned, it sounds to me like they would be breaking the law by trespassing on your property to spy on you. I would install cameras if you could to prove their illegal activity to the police. God gives us governments, laws and police to protect us in many ways. So it is within your legal rights to report stalkers. Even if you don’t have the proof, you can still report it to the police and they would go talk to them. There is no reason why you should feel caged by these strange people. And don’t forget your spiritual rights to cast out demons in Jesus Name!

      As far as bad mouthing, they are accountable for the things they are allowing to come out of their mouths. All liars will have their part in the lake of fire. Certainly pray for their salvation, as hard as that may be…. sometimes we can only pray for others because we want to be obedient to our Savior. Sometimes that’s the only way I can pray. My flesh does not want to pray for evil people who do me harm. But as one redeemed by the blood of the Lamb, I know I must. This life is but a vapor. The enemy of our souls is a liar and wants to discourage us and get us in sin…into his territory…we need to be wise, walk circumspectly, pray. Encourage yourself in God! Read the Bible, listen to the plethora of sound teaching that is out there.

      Do you have a church? Seek comfort in the body of believers. You have Christian brothers and sisters! Surround yourself with the Godly, stir yourself up in your most holy faith. God gives us so much to help us get through this difficult life, culture, times…

      This is the dispensation of grace and God is long suffering not willing that any should perish. His wrath is coming. He has not turned a blind eye. He made provisions for you in His Word and by the power of the blood of Jesus. Speak God’s protection over you and your home. The battle is a spiritual one and God has given us so much in His Word for us to hang on to, believe and profess in Jesus name. PRAYER IS POWERFUL!

      I hope this helps a bit. Again, so sorry that you are in that difficult situation. May you allow God to grow your faith in Him in this season. It is usually pain that makes us grow. Just remember God is good, He is faithful and He loves you!! God bless you!

    • Feels like im starting to lose my faith. I try so hard! i work hard ! Im a nice honest trustworthy person. Im trying to make a better life for my family and it just seems like no matter what i do or no matter how hard i try i always get pushed back. I just dont understand anymore. I feel like im losing faith sometimes……

      • Hi Rose, God has never promised us an easy life. Again, its a matter of perspective. If you lived in some of the countries of the world, you’d think that people like you are rich and have it made. People have written poems and songs in dungeons, praising God for his goodness in saving them. I know of one such where the man was going to be executed the next day. I’m not trying to be uncaring, but I’m afraid a lot of people expect things of God that He hasn’t promised.

        • Pastor John Wagner

          You are right LB, God has never promised us an easy life and if life is so easy, it will be boring and even, tough times teach us. Pastor John Wagner

      • Hi Rose, my advice for what it’s worth would be to find the contentment in what you do have, the satisfaction in what is right. Of course, we all have aspirations of better things for our future and expectations can leave us disappointed. There is a lot of power gained by learning to be satisfied right where we are. I mean, God does have us, right? Whether we go through pain and suffering or are in times of plenty and happiness, we can abase and abound being able to handle all things through Christ who strengthens us. Also we learn the most through pain and perseverance. Another bit of advice I’d say is to learn healthy boundaries. You sound like a prime target for someone who gets taken advantage of or a narcissist’s next victim. Stop trying so hard. You are a person of worth. I spent years working so hard because I am capable, but you know what, it really only got me ungratefulness. Ungodly people got recognition by other ungodly people. So it didn’t matter how honest, nice and hard-working I was. Make your family your priority to spend quality time, give of yourself, your love, your humor, your unstressed self and they will have riches that last a life time. A better life often equates to more possessions….we will never say…I should have had more things.

        Also, every Christian goes through those times of doubt, it’s normal, it’s part of our walk. It’s a testing and we come out on the other side always. What’s most important is that you learn how to draw near to God in your discouragements and pain. There will be many more trials ahead. But be encouraged, Jesus has overcome the world.

        Praying for you, dear Rose! I love your name. My daughter’s middle name is Rose.

    • My wife and I have lost over the past 31 years 5 children, 3 miscarriages and buried 2 boys 1 shortly after birth and my oldest 2/17. Years ago I determined to trust God in everything and have learned over the years he wants only what is best for me. I know that through the darkest deepest valleys we go through God is there. He is the only source I look to and I trust in his word on my life. All of the promises of God are in and though him and the entire universe, his throne, and an unimaginable number of angles back what he has said. Look into the word of God and find a promise that is written for your situation, memorize it, speak it, sing it until it grows faith inside you and that promise will take you though.

      • Eric, thankyou for sharing. God bless you as serve him.

      • Wow Eric, I’m so encouraged by what u wrote. Thank God for the holy determination u have. U have set ur face like flint. As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. prov 27:17 u have provided a great method for learning to agree with God and make His truth a part of us until it comes out our pores and we wreak like God Himself.

        And I am sorry for the losses of ur children. As a grieving mom, I know the pain. I’m grateful the Lord took my son home with Him and that I will see Him again one day, which will be like in a blink I’m sure. God help us and He has and He does, Thank You Jesus.

        God bless you and your wife,

    • Hi, I know you may face a hard time I’ve been there. I felt hopeless and keep doing things that didn’t please God until one day idk what really happened but I ended up confessing myself to God the things that I have done I cried. I suggest you my friend to invite Jesus Christ Our Savior into your heart let him rule your life have faith and trust him, because I realize that nothing on this earth can satisfy me expect God’s everlasting love, my friend when you submit yourself to God and trust him everything will change you will not care anything on in this earth but God’s love trust me His love is one of the greatest gift that you could ever receive 🙂 May God bless you, Shalom.

    • its to perfect u…joy in it n see your blessings, think about it a new way from Gods perspective n bless them…overcome evil w good n u will have there heads turning…

  18. I have come to US with a belief that it will brighten up my career but nothing has really taken place during my stint of stay so far.

    I am doing Master’s in engineering and want to get in some research and do PhD in related field but nothing happened. Coming from different country its financially herculean task to pay tuition, monthly expenses but my parents have taken loan for the sake of my future but I can see my future is at stake. I really feel bad that they are doing so much for me but I couldn’t do any justice to their sacrifice.
    Many of classmates have joined some labs/ internships but I haven’t got any though I have tried at some labs – the answers are no in couple of cases and take more courses to be productive. Its not that my marks were bad, in fact they are quite good but luck isn’t favoring me. I don’t know what to do now ?
    Coming to US has been a journey full of obstacles but I thought the Great Almighty must have some better to offer for all the struggles I have done and my family is doing for I used to believe everything happens for good but right now I don’t have any faith Him. But that’s my mistake to think as I that Almighty is kind – I know He is there but not for me as in Life what I have thought or taken as target I could only find failures

    • Hi Riya,

      I see you posted a while ago and I’m not sure if anyone answered. I’m sorry for that.

      You sound like a very conscientious young person. You are truly blessed to have a family support your education and future. Please don’t get down on yourself. Just study hard and be you! That is more than enuf. And you are light years ahead of where I was at at your age. All we can do is have a good attitude and do the good that is put in front of us, it is truly from the Lord. Just give your heart to God every day. He will direct your paths, He will work in all the things that seem like they are not working out. It can be frustrating to our logical minds (made by God btw) to not see linear paths so neatly set out before us to walk in. But life is life and faith is what we have to keep our focus where it needs to be…on GOD and not us and our successes and failures, we all have our share in them one way or another.

      All things work for good for those who love God and are called according to His purposes. Romans 8:28

      Obstacles are good they condition us to keep our faith fresh. Again, I can’t stress enuf to just do what you can and don’t stress. I know, easy to say. Do your best even when your best seems lame (that’s in my case often).

      Tell your parents how much you love them and appreciate all they have done for you. That will make them very happy. Every parent wants to see their children enjoying life. So please don’t be down on yourself. Doubt you doubts and believe you beliefs, the belief that God is good! But He’s not our genie in the bottle. God would never fit in a bottle 😉 silly humans.

      You are doing great! I’m proud of you and I’m sure your parents are too. May God bless you and lead you in the next season of your life. Pray and trust, be patient and have a good attitude. God loves you, He’s called you, He made you, He has a purpose and plan for you, He wants you to learn to delight yourself in Him. When you seek God’s face everything else comes into a very sober perspective.

      Read you Bible, praise God for the little things, pray, do good, be diligent. Your life is just beginning, you will learn much on your journey, stay close to our Lord, He is right there, He knows your pain, disappointments, dreams, etc etc.

      Prayers for your dear Riya!

  19. I was born into a Christian family so I’ve been a Christian ever since I can remember. I have always had great faith and never questioned him. But now that I’m older, I’ve started to question some things. I had to move to a new school this year and I had high hopes Bc I had problems at my old school. Now, it’s almost the end of the year and I still don’t have any friends. I had met a boy that I had became great friends with but he was talking about me behind my back with his friends. Apparently, he would talk about ugly and annoying I was which completely destroyed me and my little self confidence I had left. Now I have severe anxiety and mild depression and feel awful in myself. I have panic attacks all the time and have little confidence in myself. I’ve also had problems in the past with people being rude and I still think about the hateful things people have said to me in the past. I also lost amazing friends that I had back at my old school due to the distance which makes things worse. I even started failing and I have always been a straight A student. I turned to god for help because I don’t want to spend my one life depressed and hopeless. After I made efforts to get close with him, I felt so much better and happier. My life was transformed and I had a great attitude every day. But then, the new semester started and I had a class with the boy I mentioned earlier. Now I have to face him everyday and I feel all the emotions all over again. I have to listen to the things he says about me everyday and now I’m completely broken. I hide it from my family because I don’t want to bother anyone and create concern for the family. So I tell god about it. But I feel nothing. I just feel kinda numb. I don’t feel his presence like I used too and I’m angry at him because I don’t do anything to deserve this. I tell myself that it will all be apart of his plan that he has for me and there will be an end to all this but I just don’t know anymore. I feel that I have absolutely no one to turn to now. I miss the way my life felt before all of this. I’ve even been involved in a wreck almost 3 years ago and still have to deal with injuries that I got from it. I had to quit tennis which I was very good at because of the injuries. When I was allowed to play again I had no drive or motivation and I didn’t play. I feel like this causes sadness in me as well but I just don’t care anymore. I don’t know what I have done to deserve what is happening to me but I feel that my high school years are being took from me Bc of all this and I even can’t feel god anymore. I still read my devotional and pray every night and morning but I just don’t feel it. I lost my faith but I can’t ever imagine believing that he isn’t real. I don’t know what to do! How can I rekindle my relationship with god again and get back on track to a normal and healthy life?

    • It seems to me that you are battling with depression and should find help for it. Please, for your own sake, find an older person you trust to share your struggles with. Your parents would be ideal, or a pastor. Maybe even your schools guidance counselor if they are a Christian. You could also call our toll free number [833-678-7884] and speak with one of our phone team members. They would be happy to pray with you and try to help you. But if possible it would be good for you to speak with someone face to face.

    • Hi Elizabeth,
      Reading your post, I have so much compassion for you and can totally relate to all you have been and are struggling with. I am so sorry that these circumstances have been upon you and cause so much pain. First, please know that you are not alone in your struggles. It can feel lonely when you don’t have good support around you. In these times, you really have to cling to the Lord which it sounds like you are even though your circumstances are making it very hard. That is normal. It’s difficult to suffer and not feel discouraged. I have been there many times and often felt like the situation would never change. And when I got through and knew that God was with me the whole way, I would feel so bad and say ‘Lord I’m so sorry, I felt like I had no faith through all of that’. He understands us! He gets us! And yet think about it, He chose us! We are so blessed that we have been chosen and called. What a blessing when you can see it that way. And yes, there are very mean, rotten-to-the core people out there and it’s terrible the pain they cause. For whatever reason, they are making bad choices on who to be and how to act toward others. It’s usually because they have been sinned against and are in pain themselves. But we all have choices to make. They are making the wrong ones. Maybe one day they will come to the knowledge of God and bow their knee. Then they will be very sorry and repentant for the wrong ways they treated people and for the suffering they caused. And maybe they will never come into the light because they love their evil deeds and choose satan as their father and they will suffer and terrible fate separated from God for eternity. How horrible to think of. Can I suggest trying to vocally speak forgiveness of them daily. There is power in following God, there is power in forgiveness. When you know that their ultimate sin is in rejecting God, it can be easier to forgive. I KNOW how hard this is but it does help to confess ‘Father, I choose to forgive ____ and I release him/her from any and all debts to me. Father please heal my wounds, bind my broken heart, free me and release me from the darkness of depression.’ It is hard to say when you don’t feel it but let God work in you through your confessions. Submit yourself to God and the devil will flee. There is power when we choose to be obedient to God! Your roots will grow down much deeper in God this way. And again I am so sorry that you are dealing with this. It is true that the Lord will use all things for our good, even and especially our suffering, for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes. And you, Elizabeth are called according to His purposes!! I pray the Lord puts good people in your life and that in this season you continue to doubt you doubts and believe you beliefs namely, believe that God is with you, that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. He loves you and NOTHING can separate you from the love of God. Look up Christian testimonies on You Tube, there are soooo many and I know they will encourage you. And remember that faith is not a feeling but a substance of things hoped for. Our feelings do not know the whole picture, our feelings only know what is happening now. Our feelings are so shortsighted and our feelings can get us in a bad place fast. God gave us our feelings, he made us human to experience love and joy. Our feelings also can tell us when we are not being treated right, when we are in danger, etc. etc. It’s not ok to be treated badly. Anyone would feel bad about that. You are responding quite normally to the situation. And it’s hard. Please feel free to reach out again. Praying for you dear sister in Christ xoxo

      • Hi Renee,

        I read your post,felt that I wanted to share my problem with you and seek your advice.I am living in an area surrounded by really evil people who are always trying to put others down,in that there are two families who are making my life living hell.I want to tell you in detail,could you please provide me your email id.


      • Thank u so much Renee, I’ve been going
        though this myself and I’ve been beating myself up about it. I prayed the Lord would show me a way and He has. I had this urge to search this up and you answered my question. Praise God for the prayers answered! It won’t be easy but I know I’ll get through this because just like Elizabeth I used to doubt but then He pulled me out of the darkness and then I felt happy and didn’t doubt he heard me and that He was with me. But then out of no where I started to feel that doubt I once had. I was confused and although I prayed I didn’t believe what I was saying. Although I read the Bible I didn’t believe the stories. I cried a lot because I’ve been so confused and hurt and I haven’t been able to connect with Him like I used to. But now I know that even if I don’t feel it He hears all my prayers and has answered mine. Now I will do my best to connect back to God because I believe He’s waiting for me to find my back, and he will be with me.
        I pray for all those who have doubt to find their way back and not lose hope. Hope even a little (like Renee said) keeps our faith alive and soon it will grow. Don’t stop praying. Don’t stop singing songs of praise. Dont stop reading the Bible. And from the bottom of my heart I thank this organisation for its help and support, you are a true blessing from God. And for those who are struggling to find their way back to Him, I pray for you and give you the best hope that you will find your faith

        (Sorry my message is so long ☺️) God bless you

        • Hi Havefaith,

          I am very encouraged by your post and forget about the length…have u ever read my posts! It’s so refreshing to hear how God has been getting u through these discouragements.

          If we didn’t have real faith in God, the devil wouldn’t come trying to steal it!! So now we can be encouraged in our discouragement! How’s that for spiritual Jiu-jitsu!

          Sometimes I don’t even want to say that we have to turn to God, or find our way back, because He is right there with us!! I think it’s just a pivot which is the change in the way I see things and isn’t that what repentance is any way, going another way, turning away from the sinful mindset which has been revealed to us and now we can choose to continue in that or to cooperate with the Lord which is such a no brainer unless we are seriously deceived, I mean, which we all are, let’s be honest. The Lord will not stop until those the Father has given Him are secure, the I believe.

          Ultimately, are we choosing to agree with God, believe Him, or not?? It’s crazy, like who am I to question God Almighty, Creator of ALL, yet in my stupidity, I do. Woe is me then. I have to come back to reality and drop this delusion that because I don’t understand suffering and my disappointments that God is then somehow not good. Lord Jesus please help us in these times of silliness. I know He loves us so much, look at the cross, how can anyone not believe Him!

          So again, thank you so much for your encouraging sharing, with much love and peace in faith to u, I believe u have all u need and will be given what’s lacking as u trust and abide!

          God bless u on your journey!

        • So. I was here like 5 months ago and I had questions about God and that made me lose faith in Him. But I’ve regained. Praise God. I just, idk like I trusted Him and know I feel my faith just back in me. And I feel different, like I’m grown and changed. I feel stronger and I know that is the work of God. I know so many times I felt like giving up and letting go but God held my hand the whole time and now here I am. I don’t know where He will lead me know but I’m ready to go… I just wanted to share this just to thank God for everyone who works as gospel billboards cause I honestly felt like I was thee only one doubting then I knew I wasn’t. And I just want to encourage everyone here that if u are doubting right now, God is righ there and I know it’s hard to believe but just hold on bcs God is there. It’s a time of weakness but you’ll feel stronger when it’s over I know it seems as if u won’t make it out but whatever little faith u have, keep going, don’t give up bcs God has not given up on you…
          Many doors of temptation will be open but remember to not fall into anything the Devil wants you to fail or not prosper in. Keep praying and keep reading the Bible, no matter how hard it amy seem.
          Remember God loves you and I love you too. You’ll get thru this

    • Hi Elizabeth, I’m not part of the organisation’s but I’m going through the same thing u are and I really haven’t had anyone to talk to.
      And I figured if I’m going to talk to someone why not talk to someone who’s going through the same thing.
      You don’t have to respond but if you do may u plz answer this one question
      And that is, through this whole doubting thing I always thought I would never be in this situation at all. I never thought I would doubt in God and sometimes when I pray I always feel this guilt that I shouldn’t pray to Him since I’m doubting in Him even after all He’s given me. I fight through since I’ve learnt that doubt isn’t a sin, its a way for us to strengthen our faith, think about it, when you’re doubting you have a lot of why questions and when those questions are answered, we have more answers therefore we learn better.
      I guess I never I’d be in this situation. I’d be in this situation because I was to big headed to realise that I’ll face trials as well and we can’t be like the seed that is planted but when tempted (in this case to turn from God) falls away
      Luke 8:1-15.
      I found some sense of comfort knowing I wasn’t the only one facing this but one thing I would like to say to anyone who’s doubting is to first,

      1. Not leave the faith

      2. Keep praying and reading and singing even if you’re doubting because in the end God will be there like he’s there even now

      3. Remember that God loves when you’re sinning or,doubting

      4. And remember that God will never leave you nor abandon you

      5. Don’t feel guilty for praying when you’re doubting but rather try your best to reach out and grow closer to God even if your doubting

      6. God knows what you’re going through and only wants you to reach out to Him to strengthen your faith

      7. You are not alone, even the greatest Christians face doubt from time to time its not always 100% faith always – Remember when the angel vsisted Mary?
      She didn’t immediately believe what was happening, she questioned it even though she had faith, she still questioned it

      8. Don’t let doubt take over you and turn you away from God, that only what the Devil wants you to do

      9. And Faith is not the absence of doubt

      10. Remember God didn’t promise us an easy, perfect always good life

      11. It may get tiring fighting with yourself both mentally and emotionally but don’t give uo because God has a plan for your life and wouldn’t rather His plan than yours? And also how can you fulfill that plan if you turn from Him?

      12. I knows it’s hard, and I don’t say that out of empathy but sympathy because I’m going through it myself and sometimes I feel like I’m making it then literally get lost again. But I know God hasn’t left me and Jesus will not forsake me. I belive that because when God says no, never, He means no/never.

      13. So even if you don’t feel his presence or if you’re questioning if He’s there, put it into your heart that He is, that hope, if you make it grow as much as you can, it will

      14. Don’t put yourself down and make yourself feel bad, that only makes it harder to rekindle your relationship with God

      15. Read the Word of God, if you read proverbs or Jesus’ teachings, you’ll see how much truth it holds that could never be taught by us sinful people. But Jesus and God Himself.

      16. YOU ARE NOT ALONE????

      God bless you and may He help you strengthen your faith

  20. My loss of faith came after a period of false imprisonment for a crime I did not commit. I was facing 10 years in prison even though the police, the DA and the judge knew I was innocent. I suppose I should count myself lucky that I was only jailed for 10 months but even though I plead not guilty (alford plea) I was still rendered a felon for life. I was a follower of Jesus long before this happened to me, so my nightly prayers and weekly Bible class attendance, were not the result of a ‘jail house conversion.’ I realize that many people have spent decades falsely accused and never lost their faith. To those I cannot speak for. After I was released I did attend church for several months but the resentment for what had happened to me began to grow especially as I found it difficult to find a job. I hated the people who were responsible for the injustice and I fantasized about killing them. It was actually a nice mental release valve to vent in such a way. Eventually I began to wonder why God had allowed this to happen. I felt betrayed by God. I vowed to never read the Bible or pray or attend church. And I would especially never dare tell anyone about Jesus. I mean, why would I? He hadn’t helped me in my time of trial had he? Why would I want anyone else to find out that they too might get betrayed? I sorted through dozens of scenarios as to ‘why’ He had allowed this: Maybe I wasn’t really saved. Maybe I had done something to deserve this. Maybe He simply doesn’t intervene for some but for others He does. Maybe He died. Maybe He was really just an absentee landlord. Or maybe there wasn’t any God at all. That is where I finally landed, that even if there is a God, I just don’t care anymore after what I had been through. If bad things are going to happen even if one is a believer–then why pray? Prayer only gets one’s hopes up. And prayer doesn’t change anything. I had followed Jesus for a very long time, but 10 months of false incarceration, changed everything.

    • So now the devil has you right where he wanted you all along. His scheme worked and will continue to work as long as you keep blaming God for what was obviously not His fault.

      • I didn’t blame God for what happened to me. I wonder why He allows so much bad stuff to happen to His ‘children.’ He has all power but seems to refuse to use it to help His own. It seems that the unsaved get through life about the same as the saved do. Being a Christian doesn’t really seem to have any advantage to it when it comes to being shielded by life’s bad stuff.

    • Hi Anthony,
      I’m really sorry about what happened to you and I can totally understand your emotions of resentment and anger which have made you lash out at God. I am coming up on the 4th anniversary of my dear, precious, beloved son’s death. He took his life at age 15. His birthday is in less than a month. He would have been 19. I know ultimately God allowed him to take his life. God has given us free will knowing that the result would be the crushing of His son on the cross when He had to turn His face from Jesus and allow ALL the sins of mankind…past, present and future to be laid on Him. Jesus sweat drops of blood in anguish knowing what was going to happen. He even asked our Father to take it from Him, if it was possible. May I share this scripture with you from the amplified version from Paul’s letter written to the Hebrews:

      Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses [who by faith have testified to the truth of God’s absolute faithfulness], stripping off every unnecessary weight and the sin which so easily and cleverly entangles us, let us run with endurance and active persistence the race that is set before us, 2[looking away from all that will distract us and] focusing our eyes on Jesus, who is the Author and Perfecter of faith [the first incentive for our belief and the One who brings our faith to maturity], who for the joy [of accomplishing the goal] set before Him endured the cross, disregarding the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God [revealing His deity, His authority, and the completion of His work].
      3 Just consider and meditate on Him who endured from sinners such bitter hostility against Himself [consider it all in comparison with your trials], so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

      We will not understand everything this side of eternity. But what we can understand is that God is good. I would not try to explain how to balance a checkbook to an infant or calculus to a toddler. Imagine our mental capacity compared to God’s! But He is love and He loves us. A child will cry at the vegetables he must eat and this its parents monsters for enforcing such an ungodly demand! I am in no way belittling your situation or mine for that matter because they are very serious matters that have hurt us and continue to hurt us. I wake up every day to the nightmare that my son is not here. I don’t like to hear people tell me he’s not in pain now etc etc. It really doesn’t help me much. The brutal fact is I found my son dead at his own hands and I will never be the same. May God use that however he wants to. Do I want to live like this, NO NO NO! I want my son. I want a normal life. I don’t want the memories of his death, I don’t want the knowledge of how much his heart weighed from the coroner’s report….. I want none of it. These are thins NO mother should have to go through. And you should have not been falsely imprisoned. We live in a sinful world where the prince of this world would have nothing more than to crush the hope we have in our loving Father. If we allow the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding to guard our hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. The truth is that even when we are weak, we are strong in God. satan trembles and his knee will bow, his time is short BUT God has allowed it. He gave man dominion and free will knowing man would fall because Jesus is that lamb that was slain before the foundation of the world. So if God knew all that from the beginning, He must have a very good reason for allowing all of this to happen. The goal is the ultimate outcome. We need to be eternity minded…where no eye has seen. We can only place our trust and faith and hope and resolve and welfare to a loving, kind, merciful, gracious and GOOD Father. It’s a choice. We can be angry at Him for what we have gone through and may continue to go through. Here’s Paul’s litany of what he suffered as he wrote in his 2nd letter to the church in Corinth:

      in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequently, in deaths often. From the Jews five times I received forty stripes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods; once I was stoned; three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I have been in the deep; in journeys often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils of my own countrymen, in perils of the Gentiles, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren; in weariness and toil, in sleeplessness often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness— besides the other things, what comes upon me daily: my deep concern for all the churches. Who is weak, and I am not weak? Who is made to stumble, and I do not burn with indignation?

      Talk about injustice. But look at Jesus for the ultimate. All He did was walk around healing people and look what they did. So we know that the world in under the sway of the wicked one and man’s best efforts to be righteous are as dirty rags to our holy God.

      Please reconsider trusting and believing despite all your hardships, despite the injustice, despite it all because ultimately you will be in heaven one day where there is none of that! I am looking forward to a time when…..”And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” Rev 21:4

      God has given me everything I need to persevere. Do I want to keep going in my tragedy, NO. And that’s understandable. But God still has me here and I’ve decided to cooperate and trust….even with a very bad attitude at times. But I will pray and ask for forgiveness of that. I know I have a Father. I’ve had too much experience seeing His hand in my life, hearing Him speak to me, seeing His miracles (although not the one of stopping my son from taking his life), knowing His love and goodness.

      Anthony, I know God’s got you. He knows what’s happened and yes he has ultimately allowed it. I don’t know if this is true or not but I’m just proposing that could it be that your faith in Him was not what it needed to be because your hardship had you turn your back on God. What kind of faith did you really have? If that faith that you claim you had in God is only for when things are going right, then that’s not real faith at all. It’s like a person making a marriage vow for better or for worse but when the sickness and poverty come, they bail. That happens. God would actually not love you to allow you to have that kind of faith. He loves you.

      I’m also reminded of a show I watched once (I think it was I shouldn’t be Alive maybe – but it wasn’t a Christian show) and the guy lost his leg in the tragedy. He was asked if he could go back to change some circumstance that would have resulted in him not losing his leg and he said NO! the reason he gave was that his life was so much deeper and richer than it had been before when he had 2 legs. That was profound! and I’m sure that’s not what he was initially thinking when he lost his leg but now in retrospect, he saw the great advantage to his life of losing his leg!

      Sorry I’ve gone on very long. I read your post and felt all of this just come up in my spirit which I know is God saying He loves you and He’s got you and to trust Him. Try to cooperate with Him, repent of your bad attitude, just ask for forgiveness, ask for help, trust, believe even in pain.

      Praying for all your needs to be met! Praying for the healing of your wounded soul! Praying for a renewed hope and trust in God!

      • Please do not apologize for your lengthy answer. It was obviously heartfelt and kind, and very moving. I have no complaint compared to the horror that you have endured. I am so sorry for your loss and your daily moments that must haunt you and bring you grief. My suffering is no suffering compared to yours. I wish I could bring back your son and fill your heart’s void. I am distressed that you are suffering.

        I suppose upon reflection my ‘faith’ in God was based upon the premise that He never allow ‘too much’ pain or suffering. So when it came, I collapsed like a house of matchsticks, and blamed Him for “not protecting me.” I lament that I once had such fervor for Christ and loved Him so. I must say that in my anger I have willfully worked to move as far away from Him as possible. My Bible gathers dust. My prayers are just a memory from days past. My evangelism to the lost has reached its end.

        In a way I think I prefer this new distance. Trying to be a Christian was always a difficult walk and I found myself frustrated at my failures to walk a sinless life. As it is now, I have no frustrations because I don’t worry about sins. To be clear, I don’t look to willfully sin or follow sinful paths, but I don’t have the frustration when I do sin.

        I see life differently now: Prayer and bible reading are areas that bring me to a place of bad memories. I prayed heavily and read the Bible while incarcerated, and so now those two areas bring back bad memories of being incarcerated. Reading the Bible reminds me of jail and all of the horror that went with that time in my life. Incarceration with dangerous people traumatized me. It altered my life perspective.

        Frankly I don’t know if I can ever be where I once was as a Christian. Something is missing. The fervor, the excitement, the expectancy and the wonder have passed away. I feel as though I’ve grown up; as though the Christian walk was one for children who still see through the eyes of innocence. When the ugliness strikes it forces out the attributes of naivety and brings us to the dark edge of night.

        • First, Anthony, thank you so much for your condolence. I really really appreciate it.

          I never believed that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle which is something I heard a lot of and it’s not true. 1 Corin 10 says ‘No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.’

          But we can absolutely go through things that are waaaaay over and above what we can handle. Why would be ever need to cling to God if we could have an ‘I got this’ mentality constantly.

          And I totally understand exactly what you are going through with the distancing. I left a church that I had been in for 10 years. The pastor did help me when my son died. He did his funeral. But then a few years later I started noticing things about him and was praying for him….it’s a long story but I had to leave because of him. He wanted me back in the church trying to use my daughter, making her not talk to me unless I went back to church!! Talk about upset. I didn’t see my daughter for 7 months! She finally came to her senses and we are back in a relationship thank God. I mean I already lost a child WHO would do such a thing to an already grieving mother. So I am a bit scarred by that too. I couldn’t even pray and was so angry and had a really bad attitude. I am still not going to church. I went a few times but I need to heal. I don’t need PTSD whenever I go into a church building. But I believe that as we delight ourselves in the Lord, HE will give us the desires of our heart. I understand it that as HE PUTS the desires there in our heart, those good desires for Him and His Word and for all the things of God.

          As I was reading what you wrote, I started thinking about Moses. He killed someone and ran to the backside of nowhere for years…until GOD. Wow, like what a story and how unlikely for God to use him but we can see God’s hand in his life since he was young. Destined to die from birth but then miraculously raised in the place that wanted him dead…only GOD can do that! puts the enemy right on his head! Look at Joseph, God’s hand in his life, then -boom- his brothers do something so horrible to him, his life ends as he knew it, loses his family, now he’s a slave then he’s unjustly accused by a terrible woman, then in jail…..but GOD….2nd in all of Egypt and used to same his family, God’s people and even the evil nation of Egypt because God makes it rain on the just and unjust…. What you said about collapsing like a house of matchsticks also reminded me of Peter confessing to the Lord that he would die with Him, but then denying Him. Peter became despondent after that for sure…he just went back fishing! No more bible studies for him! The resurrected Lord had to get in his face and ask him 3 times…do you love me…. and this time peter placed no confidence in his flesh to love the Lord, and look how the Lord used him!!!!!!

          Makes me think how God needed these circumstances to make these men really usable. I am so much more grateful for my ‘broken’ faith than the faith I had before. I mean I did always have faith in God. . He miraculously saved me. Like one day, I’m practically an atheist and the next I’m like ‘Jesus is alive in heaven right now and He just SAVED ME’. I think of ‘to whom much is given, much is required’. I don’t know the plans that God has for you or for me but I suspect He’s up to something 🙂 to be a Moses or a Joseph or a Peter to those around us. God does use the foolish things to confound the wise, the weak things to confound that which is mighty.

          Through and from my pain, I have much more compassion for others, much more understanding, and less preconceived notion of things!!! Just things I wouldn’t have in this measure were it not for what I’ve been thru. God doesn’t want us to live some weird type of ‘Christian’ existence. Maybe He is showing us how we can really live and breathe in Him. How to really put on Christ, how to really have the mind of Christ, how to really put on our spiritual armor, how to really be more than overcomers, we do not understand these things yet.

          I don’t think you ever have to be where you once where. You nor I could never be. And I think it’s good that you know something is missing because it is. I’m sure Peter felt that when he was fishing. That is exactly how I felt for a while. I will tell you the power and life is in encouraging one another in our struggles, pointing to Jesus, getting real, clinging to the Lord. It’s His power and His might that will get us to where we need to be. We need to learn to just chill out and rely on Him. I CANNOT strive any more…that’s gone… and what a great place to be tho. I am in the hands of the Living GOD and so are you Anthony. Just give him your feeble, lame prayers…that’s what I do…and watch Him help you, lead you and use you. And I hate to use that word ‘use’. I always mean it in that He allows us to be partakers of what He is doing. He loves us. He doesn’t use us in a negative sense. And if He does use us it’s for our blessing as well.

          We are supposed to be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. We have an enemy looking to devour us. Some of us have seen his tonsils way too close up. But all the more to be vigilant, to be wise and to walk circumspectly counting the time as short.

          God bless you!!! I leave you with Psalm 139:12 which came to mind when I ready your comment ‘the dark edge of night’…

          Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
          But the night shines as the day;
          The darkness and the light are both alike to You.

          God is good, please be encouraged Anthony, and He’s still right there with you. Of this, I am sure.

        • The things of God are spiritual. NOT fleshly. Flesh feeds on emotions. What I can see, feel. Gods word is the things of Facts regardless of how we feel about it. If your looking for a “feel me good g-d” then there are plenty out there made by man.

          It is very evident that you lack in knowing HIM from READING about him. The fact is “FAITH comes by hearing, and hearing by the WORD of God. Faith is not emotions. Its based on FACTS from the Word of God. The Word of God say God created you. The Word of God says God died for you. The Word of God say “I will never leave you or forsake you”. The Word of God says FAITH comes by HEARING. The only physical part associated with you. Nothing anywhere says “I hope I can make you feel good today”.. Hebrews 1:1-2 says he spoke to man in times past in many ways through the prophets, BUT in these times, these last days, through his Son, Jesus Christ. And therefore everything you need to have assurance is within that Bible. Assurance is not emotions. Its based on facts. A wall is a fact. Run into it and all your emotions after still have nothing to do with the FACT its hard.

          Read. Read the Bible from Gen to Revelations. Add commentary from great men of old who are able to help with understanding. You’re reading the historical account God gave you to understand why and how it all came to be. How you feel about it matters not. This book is filled with archaeological, historical, accurate in science accounts.

          During and after you do this you will flow with lots of emotions. You gasp that Moses was in the beginning an uneducated guy with terrible oratory abilities, but God used him. That Abraham, the father of faith didn’t believe God and tried to fulfil the promise on his own. That “David” was not just the little shepherd boy that slung a rock to kill Goliath, but a horrible man, who murdered, committed adultery, disobeyed God many times and yet God said he was a man after his own heart. And then how God brought it all together and fulfilled it all in his son, Jesus, whom knowing what was to come suffered for the sins of all to fulfill Genesis curse to the serpent.

          You lack Faith because you have not read his word. The irony of you “I loss faith” for being accused of a crime you did not commit, is in the FACT that Christ died for a sin he did not commit. You did.

    • Hello Anthony, I know you came here looking for answers and as it seems LB hasn’t given you anything to grow off. But listen to someone who heard what you’re saying and how messed up it was. Glad you didn’t do the ten years friend, sometimes we gotta make positive things in our life happen despite what bad stuff comes our way. Just know that people myself on here hear what you’re going through and you’re not alone friend.

    • I would like to share somethings with you.#1Unforgiveness opens the door for the evil. I know I had a prolonged situation where I had no one to helo me,but God I was angry ordered by the judge to be in court. I said I wasn’t coming back. I was seeking God through the the whole ordeal in more ways than one. I didn’t know how I was gonna forgive those that left me didn’t support me and….God would allow situations to happen to you to draw you closer unto him. We hqve to seek him in all the good and bad overall surrender to All in this body….He can use you mighty for his glory. I went through alot overall chronic homelessness. No drugs,alcohol,nor mental illness. My recovery eas a history of domestic violence. I here to say I questioned God cried out to him like I’m crying out to you to draw back closer to him get connected with a suportive ministry that’s supportive the congregates in membership that really is about God’s kingdom. You seek him read the book of psalms/proverbs. by the day evry 30 until day 29 nd 31 ex: psalms 1,31,61,91,121,150 all end 150 before proverbs of the day of reading Proverbs 1….day 29 psalms 29,59,89,119:1-89,149,150 Proverbs 29,psalms 31,61,91,119:90 until end of psalms 119,150 Proverbs 31 for encouragement the book St.John etc. However the spirit leads…Trust me the Lord again…read Jeremial 29:11 Phillipians1:6…Trust that the Lord will encamp around you people that have your Best interest….support system.

  21. LB, I guess the point is this; I’ve looked at myself and I see nothing. That’s not saying I don’t know that I have a better existence than a lot of people. But!!! What does that mean? Because I’m not living in a refugee camp in a war zone, my existence has any kind of meaning, point,accomplishment. I’ve looked at myself, and can’t find any redeeming factors. I’ll say that God may of given me some talents, skills, but never revealed them to me. On top of that,keep ways to find these abilities out of my reach. What makes your life, a life? A reason to live. Something that gives meaning and/or purpose. In my case, I don’t have a reason, I don’t have a purpose, I don’t have family that would really miss me. Last I don’t have any way to find a shred of hope for ever finding a slim chance to even get to look for the needle in the haystack. I might be wrong, but I believe Christians are to be believe that they are nothing. I believe that I have reached that stage. I can only accomplish anything with God, but God’s helping hand his grace is inactive. That is tearing my faith and soul. When you know that nothing will get better without God and He is seemingly nowhere to be found. Amplify that with decades of never getting a Yes to prayers. Not for recognition, but wear is my mark on this planet. Make a difference for people, spread God’s glory. What good are food and shelter without meaning? The reason is needed for life to be more than existence. I understand how rich people get depressed. All that wealth with no reason for living. Existence is pointless, a reason makes it life. People are generous when given the ability and reason to do so. Everything centers on reasons. This is where I am, stuck on hold with God, waiting for God to help with reason and some way to pay for the reason. God’s silence is heartbreaking, soulcrushing. Sorry, I am not trying to be ungrateful or anything else. I really don’t want to be anything negative to anyone. It is not always easy to put into words what I am thinking or feeling. But I believe that my biggest problem is God’s silence and inaction. I’m stuck without escape.
    God bless you with the seven blessings.

    • You were speaking to my soul. That’s my exact life. I’m nothing without God. But the key is that I’m powerful with him. God IS with me so I never have to feel like I’m nothing. The problem with feeling like you are nothing is that you rob yourself of the power that God has given you. God has given you a brain to think, a mind to plan, and a heart to achieve. It’s not that you sit and wait on God to tell you every move to make. The Bible says a man plans his way and the Lord establishes his steps. This means you have to get up and plan! If you don’t know your purpose, can you identify what you would want your purpose to be? Then go after that and let the Lord establish your steps.

    • Also Kenneth I read your other comments and you said you have no proof of God’s goodness in your life. The fact that you are alive is an act of God. You just mentioned the bullets flying down your street. You could have died a million ways by now. The very breath in your lungs is magical.

      Imagine giving a beautiful gift to your child everyday only for them to say. “You’ve never done anything for me?”

      Most of us would stop giving gifts to the child so they could learn to be grateful. A child that shouts, “Thank you for this amazing gift! This is all I need” … well that’s the child you want to shower with gifts.

      Your very mindset is ungrateful. You attribute nothing to God unless it’s miraculous and abundant. God is not a magician and he deserves praise for the gifts we take for granted, like life. You said you don’t have a reason to live, well create one. God is a God of freewill that’s why he gives you the will to discover and the heart to desire! The brain to think and the mind to plan!

  22. Thanks Renee,
    I’m trying to see the good God has done for me, but fail to see anything. A quick explanation,
    I don’t see a roof over my head as anything to do with God. God didn’t build it, God doesn’t pay the rent. So how can I give credit to God for things He doesn’t have a hand in. You probably would say that God gave me the money to pay the rent. I live on disability. God gave people free will,then God didn’t make the people agree to grant my disability claim. The people made the choice. God didn’t have a say in that as it would infringe on the free will. Now like I said, I don’t see God doing anything. But enough of that, thanks for the kind words, and sorry for running my problems by you. I guess all I can do is sit here crying while waiting for God to help me, if He ever does in this life. Thanks again and God Bless You

    • My friend, you listed at least three things that God does for you. He gives you enough income to live in a house better than what half the world lives in. He gives you enough income to buy enough food when a quarter of the world is starving. You live in a reasonably safe country when people in the Middle East are fleeing for their lives and leaving everything behind. Millions of people in the world live in refuge camps and you don’t. You have a pile of things to be thankful for and don’t even see it. –LB

      • Hi LB,
        I know where you are going with this reply. But as I said, there is no proof that God had anything to do with it. As far as food goes, I sometimes go days without food or I won’t make it to the end of the month. Because of free will, God had no say in my disability being granted. As far as a reasonable country to live in. Have you seen the news from southern Ontario, I am scared of being shot just walking down the street. I can see why you think I have lots to be thankful for, and you maybe right. I just don’t believe that God has anything to do with it. I may be wrong but until I see something happen that could only happen by God’s hand, I don’t think God controls our everyday life. That’s why I pray, for God to get directly involved. If I don’t see God’s hand in something, why thank Him. Sorry if I I disappoint you, but that’s how I see it. God Bless You LB

        • Hi Ken, you remind me of a story I heard once. A man was caught in a flood and was sitting on the roof of his house. He prayed for a miracle to rescue him from drowning. A rowboat came along and the occupants offered to take him along. He refused because he was expecting God to provide a miracle. A bit later a motorboat came by and again, he rejected their offer of help. Finally a helicopter wanted to pick him off the roof. Same thing. Finally that evening the man saw that he was probably going to drown. He prayed again: God why haven’t you rescued me? Why won’t you answer my prayer? And God spoke from the cloud, “I sent three different people to help you, and you refused.”

          We need to be careful that we don’t allow our expectations interfere with God’s help. You still have better conditions than probably a quarter or third of the world’s population. But you insist that God has nothing to do with that. Like the man in the little story above, you refuse to recognize God’s goodness to you because it doesn’t take the form you want it to take. I don’t want to be hard on you, but I do think that you need to take a close look at yourself. And, just in passing, I’m writing this in Southern Ontario….

        • Hi Kenneth,
          I think you do know and believe God is with you and has helped you. I mean you would not be having so many questions about Him or doubting Him. Could it be that you can’t see the things God is doing and has done just as you can’t even see your own faith in Him? People who don’t believe don’t care to ask all these questions and want to try to see how to have faith in God in the midst of their suffering.

          I can see the bad attitude you have because I too am prone to have a bad attitude when I feel that I can’t handle what’s happening in my life. I get angry at God. I felt lead to share this section of scripture from Job:

          Job 38:1-18
          The Lord Answers Job
          1 Then the Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind:
          2 ‘Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?
          3 Gird up your loins like a man,
          I will question you, and you shall declare to me.
          4 ‘Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
          Tell me, if you have understanding.
          5 Who determined its measurements—surely you know!
          Or who stretched the line upon it?
          6 On what were its bases sunk,
          or who laid its cornerstone
          7 when the morning stars sang together
          and all the heavenly beings* shouted for joy?
          8 ‘Or who shut in the sea with doors
          when it burst out from the womb?—
          9 when I made the clouds its garment,
          and thick darkness its swaddling band,
          10 and prescribed bounds for it,
          and set bars and doors,
          11 and said, “Thus far shall you come, and no farther,
          and here shall your proud waves be stopped”?
          12 ‘Have you commanded the morning since your days began,
          and caused the dawn to know its place,
          13 so that it might take hold of the skirts of the earth,
          and the wicked be shaken out of it?
          14 It is changed like clay under the seal,
          and it is dyed* like a garment.
          15 Light is withheld from the wicked,
          and their uplifted arm is broken.
          16 ‘Have you entered into the springs of the sea,
          or walked in the recesses of the deep?
          17 Have the gates of death been revealed to you,
          or have you seen the gates of deep darkness?
          18 Have you comprehended the expanse of the earth?
          Declare, if you know all this.

          Can we now agree that we are not God and His ways are incomprehensible to us. But Kenneth, we can trust that He is GOOD. I would not want to live in absence of God. One day we will understand but not this side of eternity. Can you settle in your heart to just seek God in sincerity…not doubt and unbelief. What you are talking about with disability is kind of foolish. That is an imperfect man-made system. Man’s system. Just like the legal system, sometimes people get it right and sometimes they don’t. It is God’s will that the guilty get set free…no! Does God want predators roaming the streets to injure their next victim….no! We are in this world but not of this world. We are ambassadors of Christ….For we are to God the fragrance of Christ among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing.

          I am not going to lecture you Kenneth. I know what it’s like to be in pain and to have people who have no idea what you are really going through try to talk away your pain, minimalism it, trivialize it…. I pray that this is only a short season for you. We go through seasons. All I can recommend is pray even when you don’t feel like praying, even when your prayers are pathetic. But I can try to encourage you from one who has been there and goes there from time to time, God is faithful. I would not be able to live were He not. There are times of refreshing when you least expect it.

          Psalm 78:15-17 He split the rocks in the desert and gave them water as abundant as the seas; [16] he brought streams out of a rocky crag and made water flow down like rivers. [17] But they continued to sin against him, rebelling in the desert against the Most High.

          I pray to God I can help you to see that we are just like those people. God can be doing great miracles in our midst and we treat it like nothing, treat God like nothing and sin against Him. That was the Israelites, that is me, that is you….let’s not fool ourselves. This is a sober place I have to come to myself. The scriptures are here to teach us.

          God open the eyes of our understanding. We need and want truth. Please help us to see. Jesus you told us that he who follows You will not stumble around in the dark but will have the Light that leads to Life. We want that, we want to follow You and have the Light that will lead to Life. Please show us truth so we can be humble before You. Create in us a clean heart and renew a steadfast spirit in us. and Lord thank you for saving us, for loving us, for adopting us, for providing for us, for walking with us and carrying us when we need to be carried. Thank you for your long suffering, grace and mercy which we need continually. We look to you for help and protection. I ask Father that angels be sent to Kenneth to help him with whatever it is he needs help with to be satisfied in his knowledge of You for even you came back to show Thomas who walked with you on this earth for 3 years, yet he still doubted that you resurrected. Please comfort Kenneth, Father, draw him close. Open his eyes to see life like never before and fill his heart with joy and give him peace which I know is you great pleasure. I ask and pray that if there are any demons getting in the way of Kenneth’s spiritual ability to see and know you are there, then I say to them that they must leave in the name of Jesus. Father please use my simple prayers in the way that glorifies you in Ken’s life for Your purposes and not man’s. Amen!

        • Thanks @Renee for your input into this thread. You show a good understanding of what Ken is going through and the Bible passages that hopefully will help him to understand God. –LB

  23. Hi Renee, I’ve got a question, maybe you can help. Everyone keeps saying that God will never abandon me. Yet I find may cases in the Bible of God turning His back on people. Jeremiah 11:14,Lamentations 3:44,Zechariah 7:13,Ezekiel 5:11,Psalm 13:1,Romans 8:23,John 16:7. I’m sure that more instances of God willingly turning away from His people. Yes God had reasons to turn away (God always has reasons)but the point is that God does choose to absent at times. Why then do people preach that God will never abandon me? Can you explain this. Thank you Renee and God Bless You.

    • Hi Ken, I will look up those scriptures, but I do want to answer what I do know just from the heart. So let’s say my child who lives with me is choosing a life of drugs, no job, etc etc. Yet I am conveniently providing a roof over her head and making her life real comfy for someone who doing the wrong thing. That’s call facilitating and maybe I’m a codependent….but God will not facilitate, and He’s not codependent…There is nothing wrong with God, He is holy, He is merciful, HE IS LOVE. There is a time after God’s long suffering and warnings that He will leave His people over to their sin which they obviously love more than God as shown in their lack of obedience to Him. And under the NT Jesus told us that His yoke is easy His burden is light. It’s not burdensome to follow the Lord…only when we are in sin, of course. So if me being evil, will know that I cannot facilitate my child and hurt as it will, I must give my child consequences which would start out with maybe losing some privileges, like if I’m still paying for the phone. But then as time goes on and still a lack of repentance and a wanton disregard for truth, I have to make the call to say, you cannot live here and do this. I love you, you can always come back home if you want to do the right thing and I will give you all the help you need to get back on the right path…just like that. This is actually me really loving my child in a healthy way as opposed to the unhealthy co dependent way which is not really love. God is way more patient than we are and way more loving. In the NT, there is a scripture about casting one to satan…in 1 Corin, I’m pretty sure. The purpose was to let this man continue in his sin and in doing so you are casting him to satan…leaving him to his sin and to suffer the consequences that satan conveniently chooses to leave out during the temptations. Gladly, this man comes back to the Corinthian church to be restored and Paul now has to instruct them on really embracing him so as not to discourage him….cuz we can be judgmental, unforgiving people…even under grace. So he instructs them about grace now.

      Jesus said He will never leave us nor forsake us. We read in the psalms that we can go to the depths of hell and He is there, we read in the NT that there is nothing that can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus…no devil or angel…nothing. The sad truth it seems to me is that we can separate us from the love and relationship of our God. We are to walk circumspectly in this world, being wise and not like fools. We are all prone to wander from the Savior who loves us and gave Himself up for us. ALL. This is what I try to do when I feel something may be wrong in my relationship with the Lord. I ask to be filled with the Holy Spirit….this does not mean that I am not sealed with the Holy Spirit till the day of redemption aka my blessed assurance….this is a continual infilling of the Holy Spirit of God.. that’s all I know and I do like asking for the Holy Spirit, just the confession that I want the Holy Spirit…the Spirit of Truth, so then I will ask God to help me to see where I may not being doing or seeing things right. Read the bible. I think proverbs helps to put things in perspective. Maybe find scriptures on truth, on lies, on things that you think you may be struggling with. Pray. Take a deep breath and know that God is pleased in your seeking Him, wanting truth. We have our lives to bring glory to God. We are not going to do it by keeping ourselves in the dark and who lights a lamp and puts it under a basket????? Good question Jesus, obviously we do sometimes…please forgive us. Just relax, go about your life, being conscious of the conscious and unconscious decisions you are making. Like why do I go to work…oh to use my God-given abilities make money, support myself and be a blessing to others…..sounds like it brings glory to God. Why am I watching this movie with a lot of sex???? oh I’m bored and just filling my head with garbage that shouldn’t be there…..this is not bringing glory to God. I am not being sarcastic …just with myself. We are all so silly at times, ME included that I have to be like WHAT am I doing? Prone to wander, to be lulled to sleep, not even able to pray an hour, God help us! and He has!!! Praise Him! I hope this brings a smile to your face and help in some small way, God bless you too Ken 🙂

      • Thanks Renee, I am trying to find my way,but things like this confuse me. I just don’t understand how both can be true. It doesn’t help me understand anything when I get two opposing answers. If God will indeed turn His back on people, why do people say that God will “never” abandon us. Or is it just people trying to sugar coat scripture???? Like I said, God has His reasons for abandoning someone, but to say God never abandones someone is a contradiction. Which is true? I do appreciate your advice Renee, but I have been so disappointed, disheartened for so long that I have forgotten how to smile. What are happiness, joy, contentment? It’s been so long since I experienced these things that I no longer know what they are. So thanks again and may God Bless You. ????

        • Hey Ken, I see it this way, they have wandered off, they have left the sheepfold, is God’s mercy and grace there? I think so esp under NT. Despite the fact that we do ALOT of things that just harm ourselves. This life is not easy. What is happy? I maybe had a “sense” of happiness when I was younger. But when I got older and life and life and death and death and pain and sorrow. What is happy? That’s just a word to me that’s not real anyway. Happy is my happenstance, what is happening around me at any given moment line up with what I’m comfortable with and what I want I guess. Life is much deeper than happy. I know God is real, I know He saved me. I know He saved my son who took his life. I know I will see him again. I almost lost the ability to become a mother before I had any of my children…before I was ever saved, yet here was this miracle connection to the right doctor to saved my ability to have children…absolute truth. He saved me after they were all born. I was already married to an abusive man, an alcoholic, when I got saved. Seven years of persecution from him and prayer…and God delivered him miraculously from alcoholism and then after a while he got saved….but after all that, things went bad again. He never returned to drinking but just self-righteous judgment and more abuse. Why God why?

          I recognize in my puny mind that I really don’t need to understand and that I will not understand many many many things this side of eternity. But I have enuf to go on to know God is true. He is my Lord and Savior, He is good, He will never leave me or forsake me (I never question this even though honestly sometimes I may have foolishly believed He might have), but no He was right there. I’m just being a brat, an immature ungrateful kid at times. I am not a fully matured Christian…I certainly don’t reflect enuf of Christ in my life. I want to and I try and God does allow me to partake in His plans which is a great great blessing to me…..by far better than any “happy” could be. That’s the real deal.

          Maybe try not thinking so much and just sit down and close your eyes and feel what you are feeling. Bring these feelings to the Lord, don’t blame Him for them, but know that He is your Healer, your Maker, give these feelings to Him and ask Him for help. Don’t expect an immediate freaky miracle…although I fully believe that could happen. But have peace knowing that you connected with Him and you are reaching out to Him in that pain for healing. Ken, God has a purpose and plan for you of this I am sure. And I am also sure that it is probably nothing that you expect or imagine. I’m not saying you are going to win the lotto etc. I’m just saying those places of joy and contentment come from places where we really don’t expect them. Money won’t make you content, just paranoid you are going to lose it. Of course relationships are a blessing and it sounds like you need some good healthy relationships. Pray, pull out scriptures that talk about friends. Did you now that Jesus is a friend that sticks closer than a brother? If it’s only me and Jesus, that’s not bad at all. But yeah I understand lonely seasons are brutal. God bless you Ken, God help you in your suffering and comfort you. Please meditate on all God has done for you. I hope this helps a little, Renee

  24. I was raised Roman Catholic, now as a 30yr old male, I have turned away from the church. My daughter (6) goes to Catholic school, I sometimes go to mass, however I don’t go up for Eucharist. I have in the past even recently said terrible things about God. I mean badd like F word bad. However I always felt like in my heart I knew something was out there whether it be God or “source” and I always assumed that even though I had verbally done him wrong, ultimately he if he exists would know my heart is pure so to speak and would know my true thought process/intent. If what I’m saying makes any bit of sense.
    It’s just that I know something made us I’m not that naive, to think I came from a monkey, if that were the case why do we still have monkeys…
    Bottom line is, since Ive turned away, I’ve been more and more depressed, had it not been for my daughter I wouldnt be here typing this today. When I do go to church I do feel better, like more positive, however I cant find myself willing to go up for the Eucharist, I feel I dont fully believe in the whole story so to speak, but I feel if it is all true, I’m ashamed and don’t feel worthy to accept it. This is When I start thinking well if I do ever meet him, he’ll see and understand my point of view without me even speaking a word.
    Just reaching out for opinions and different perspectives. Because I always said religion was false hope, but older I get the more I see life is literally meaningless with out it.

    • What you need is not the Eucharist or religion. What you need is Christ. Jesus said, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Mat 11:28-30 NKJV)

      • ‘This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.’ In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, ‘This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you’” (Luke 22:19-21). He concluded the feast by singing a hymn (Matthew 26:30), and they went out into the night to the Mount of Olives. It was there that, as predicted, Jesus was betrayed by Judas. The following day Jesus was crucified.

        “For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until He comes” (1 Corinthians 11:26)

        “Therefore, whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of sinning against the body and blood of the Lord. A man ought to examine himself before he eats of the bread and drinks of the cup. For anyone who eats and drinks without recognizing the body of the Lord eats and drinks judgment on himself” (1 Corinthians 11:27-29)

        Matt, you were not able to partake of communion in an unworthy manner…God stopped you. That should be a sign of conviction (not condemnation). Bring your evil deeds to the light, bring them to God and cry out for forgiveness and repent..turn away, trust God, keep walking in His direction and never look back, think of Lot’s wife, if you are ever tempted to. As the apostle Paul instructs us, we need to examine ourselves.

        God bless you Matt, God made communion for you to partake. He made it possible by His sacrifice for you and me. So we can be reconciled with God. That is the gospel…the good news. It’s the best news I’ve ever heard and it will never stop being the best thing I’ve ever heard or ever wanted. Thank God!

    • Wow, Matt, I love what you posted and have to respond…there is sooo much good stuff you are wrestling with and I know God is pleased that you are wrestling with Him, that you are sensing that there is desperation without Him. God made a simple way for us to be restored to Him. It’s called repentance which means turning away from those things which you know are not right. God is not to be blasphemed because He is holy and He loves you, our Father sent Jesus to die on a cross to take our sins (the ones where you are blaspheming God too..and maybe google some scriptures on the majesty of God to try getting a better perspective of Him). Jesus took our punishment so that we can be restored to a relationship with the Father, it’s called being born again, born into God’s family spiritually this time. Jesus said you can’t pour new wine into old wine skins. The skins will burst. God can’t fill unrepentant unredeemed man with the Holy Spirit aka they can’t be a part of His family and will be separated for an eternity from Him (their choice to reject Him) once they step out of the physical body, that they have control over here on earth, to the solely spiritual state which has to go where their true allegiance lies….God or satan. It’s that simple. And so life is really meaningless if you are only going to live to go to hell one day 🙁

      God does know our hearts better than we do and that’s why Jesus had to die a torturous death on a cross…think about it. Our own hearts deceive us…those are God’s Word not mine. But it’s true, we can justify just about anything to ourselves. God says ‘there is a way that seems right to man but in the end is death’ That’s scary!! So which way is really up? This is where we acknowledge that we are not God and He is God and our ways are really messed up at best (I’m paraphrasing God’s word). It’s really obvious and so we finally do the right thing and agree with Him….finally, whew. That wasn’t that hard now was it?

      So we need to confess our sin to God and repented of it (look up salvation prayers you will find a ton of variety of them…not in the bible cuz God’s not legalistic) but as long as you are repenting and confessing Jesus as your Savior and LORD.

      Now the minute after you walk out the door after that prayer, you are going to sin (maybe not so soon but sometime definitely after). Do not be condemned…confess it, repent of it, cry out to God to change you to help you, to open the eyes of your understanding. The work of our sanctification is not alone our work, of course, it does require cooperation, but it’s God working these things in you which is already evident by what you are feeling and sensing. This is good news!

      I suggest you start reading the New Testament to give God something to work with in you. A little every day….it’s hard to put down once you pick it up like any good book! but this is God’s very Word, written by divine inspiration of men filled with the Holy Spirit. Also after you repent of your sins and ask God to forgive you, ask Him for the Holy Spirit. Jesus said that it was better that He goes and that He was going to ask the Father to send the comforter, the counselor who will lead us in all truth, the third person of the Trinity, The Holy Spirit, He’s not a thing or a ghost, He is part of the triune God, sent to seal us with the blessed assurance of our salvation until the day of redemption… 10 out of 10 people die so either we redeemed die and go to heaven or Jesus will return when we are alive. No one knows the day or hour, not of our own death or of His return. So let’s snap to it and cooperate. Listen to someone teach God’s word. I think Charles Stanely is a good source. But ask God and let Him lead you. He is more involved in your life and closer than you can ever imagine. Jesus came to save us, we are sinners, we need a savior. As His children, Our Father know’s that we can be prone to backsliding or wandering from the Savior we love. Ask Him for help.

      You can also be a part of a body of believers who are strong in their faith and can help you to be accountable, share their testimony of how God opened their eyes, saved them, how they depend on Him and will pray for you. No one is perfect no matter how good we try to look on the outside. Just remember there is one mediator between God and man and that is Jesus Christ. He lives forevermore to make intercession for the saints, He surrounds us with shouts of deliverance. Read the new testament and you will read that in there.
      Buy a Bible and write this on the inside: This book will keep you from sin and sin will keep you from this book.

      God bless you, I hope this helps in some small way, keep the faith, doubt your doubts and believe your beliefs. Eternal life is real, so is death and hell. Be wise,
      from one monkey to another (that’s a JOKE) I loved your comment on that 🙂

  25. Hello Renee, thanks for this beautiful message. I just started becoming a serious Christian and I feel that God has shut his ears towards me. When I wasn’t a believer, I had all prayers answered at appropriate times. Now, none of my prayers have been answered. I think God doesn’t actually love me. I feel the whole world hates me cause I am going through a painful dilemma lately. People preach about faith,but I don’t understand that world fully. I just feel that why would I trust a man that hates me. But I don’t even understand why all this is going on

    • Hi Ngele,
      I’m so glad to hear that you believe on our Lord Jesus. I am sorry that you feel the pain of whatever you are going through. Pain is not pleasant to us. It can really shake us to our core. My experience is to give that pain and your situation to God in surrender….even if with a bad attitude cuz that’s all you got right now. I understand! sadly! What I can tell you is that I know God is not the problem, He is good, He is merciful, He has a hope and a future for us, He does not want to harm us, He loves us…so much…look at the cross! He wants us to trust Him. He wants us to learn and allow our lives to give Him the glory He so deserves and by doing so we are soooo blessed…there is not greater purpose we have, there is no greater fulfillment. Do we understand everything? no way, Do we mess things up? heck yeah. Does God give up on us? never. Who would tell their toddler to just stay down when he keeps falling when he is trying to learn to walk….if we being evil will have such unconditional love for our children, how much more our Heavenly Father. Please let these words encourage you. I hope they do. I have suffered periods of no direction and a seeming silence from Heaven. I think God allows us our temper tantrums….but like the Peter said when Jesus asked them if they too wanted to leave…Peter said where else can we go, you alone have the words of eternal life… John 6:60-71. It seems like it gets hard to follow God, to trust, to believe, to feel like you are being ignored…think of the disciples in a sinking boat during a fierce storm when Jesus is sleeping… but I think our perception can be off… like Elijah’s servant who thought they were doomed seeing the surrounding army there to capture them…yet Elisha prayed to have his servant’s eyes opened 2 Kings 6:17. We may despise and not understand what is happening to us, but there is one who does. God is with you my friend. Of this, I am absolutely certain. We harm ourselves when instead of agreeing with God, we start agreeing with the devil…”why would I trust a man who hates me”…. Oh the devil is cunning that even the elect will fall away. Let’s stick to the script. God is on the throne, in His mercy and abounding love has saved us from our sins, death, hell, the grave…we are more than overcomers in Him. One of the fruit of the Holy Spirit of God is patience aka long suffering (we don’t like to say it that way) but I pray that God increased the fruit of His Holy Spirit in me. I hear people say oh don’t pray for patience. God with then test you and put you in a situation that requires patience…but why would I not want fruit. For a tree to bear alot of fruit it needs to be pruned. Pruning makes the tree look quite ugly and I’m sure it wasn’t a completely pleasant process for the tree. But low and behold…the next season it has tons of fruit. The trees that don’t bear fruit will be burned. I am not here for myself, even though that selfish little part of me wants everything to be about me, me, me. That would only end in disaster fast. God help us! and the good news is He has and He will and He is going to. We all have our ups and downs in our faith, we just keep going forward, in faith, toward our Lord…even when He has to carry us (for some like me it’s more like dragging) part ok more like most of the way.l

      You are in good hands! You are not hated, you are loved. And I’m not sure if you are a parent but it’s actually necessary to not give you kids everything they want. Sometimes they think bad things are good for them and they think you are mean for not giving them the bad thing they want. Well we are all like little children to our Heavenly Father. Matter of fact, Jesus tells us that we have to come exactly that way…like little children.

      I pray you learn to trust God through this season in your life. I pray for the truth of God’s promises to you comfort you and sustain you through all the rough seasons in your life. Remember it was the man who built his house on the rock that did not come to utter ruin and disaster. God bless you!!!

  26. Thanks Renee, I appreciate the kind words and sympathy. It’s so hard when I pour my heart out to God and get ignored. I gave myself to God through Jesus about 40 years ago. God immediately went silent. My heart is full of despair because God hasn’t seen fit to answer any of my prayers or at least some kind of communication. I feel that God only cares about Himself. When I read the Bible, it appears that God wants us to do all the work, while God sits back and laughs at us. If this is a test of faith, I think that 40 years of unanswered prayers and still praying proves my faith. These tears that are flowing right now as I type are because God doesn’t seem to care. If God does care He isn’t showing it. Something definitive would be helpful, just a little bit of proof that God does hear me. It’s like God doesn’t want me to be happy. But sorry for the rambling, I shouldn’t be bothered you with my problems. God Bless You Renee,you are a blessing.

    • Thank you too for you kind words Ken! It seems there is a disconnect between what you are reading in the Bible. When I read the Bible, I see God constantly pointing us to the fact that our righteousness can only come from Him, from His finished work. So I’m not sure what you mean by God wanting us to do all the work. We haven’t done anything but be sinners. Yet we ARE to work out our salvation with fear and trembling, we are to walk circumspectly as wise and not as fools, counting the time as short, that tomorrow is promised no one. The only time God shows us that He’s laughing is at the nations who shake their fists at Him in their wickedness. And if you want to really see God, look at Jesus. Everywhere He went He healed and taught. The only place He could not was where they did not believe. And He certainly was not laughing at us at the garden of Gethsemane or on the cross. He died for us, He prayed for us John 17:20. He lives forevermore to make intercession for the saints, He surround us with shouts of deliverance. Could it be that you are not hearing God because the devil has your ear? It happens to me and I sometimes indulge in that nonsense for a while until I realize what nonsense it truly is and then I rebuke the devil and his lies and turn and pray to God, our Father, in the name of Jesus, boldly coming before His throne of grace as He tells me to. I ask for forgiveness, for Him to open the eyes of my understanding. Stop asking for things and give Him your pain, give Him your frustration. Be at peace and God will defend you and show you what is really going on. God’s Word says we ask amiss. We often don’t know what to pray for…yes, everyone prays for health and wealth and love and and and… pray for strength to be humble in your lack, in your deficits. God has an absolutely amazing way of working in and through those things.

      Please don’t think you are alone or that God is a cruel taskmaster. That is not the truth. Will we understand all of these thins now? no, not this side of eternity. I am praying for your Ken. I pray that God will give you ears to hear, that you will hear that still small voice. I ask God to use your mustard seed faith to believe that He is good and that He does love you. Please just be faithful in the little things. That is monumental. I know you have been praying for 40 years. But like Elisha’s servant who lost all hope, I pray that God will open your eyes to the spiritual truths of what’s really been happening in your life so that you will be emboldened in the spirit. I’m just one beggar telling another where to get bread. Peace to you Ken, not as the world gives but as Jesus gives us. God bless you and help you. You, my friend, are a blessing too!

  27. I’m here because I’ve had depression since I was 11. I thought I became a Christian at 18 but now, 10 years later, think I may have been a false convert. I have consistently prayed to God for help, wanting to be saved and healed but nothing has happened in these 10 years. My life has gone from bad to worse in that I’m now unemployed, with no dreams, hopes or ambitions. I have no close friends, no partner, don’t fit in at church and don’t have much money. I keep asking God for help and to save me but nothing happens. I don’t think He wants me, if He exists at all.

    • Hi Lauren,
      God bless you my sister. You seem like a believer because I don’t think you would be here looking for help in your relationship with God.

      You are saved Lauren, you have asked for God to save you. You believe in His son. You believe Jesus died on the cross for the remission of your sins. You are saved. God has called you to repentance and it sounds like you have repented. Your name is written in the Lamb’s Book of Life and no one can snatch you out of Jesus’ hands according to His own words.

      About healing. I do absolutely believe and have experiences with healing. I actually cringe when I hear people pray like this “God if it’s not your will to heal that person….” but I do know that God doesn’t miraculously heal everyone…or maybe He does and it’s called I have a glorified body in heaven?? That could be, no? what do we really know this side of eternity. I mean we see Jesus healed EVERYONE who came to Him. The only people He sadly couldn’t heal were the ones who didn’t believe. So I always pray and believe that God wants to heal but I also trust Him with the things I am not going to understand. That being said…I do pray and ask God to heal you Lauren, whatever needs healing in you, I ask God to heal all of it because He is good and loving and merciful.

      Can I ask, do you read the Bible? be careful of some of the sermons and messages out there about God. Don’t look for that name it claim stuff. God wants to speak to you through your daily time with Him and reading the Bible at your own pace, where ever you feel lead to read, the gospels, the epistles, the prophets… just ask God to teach you. He wants to teach you so much. As you meditate and think on God’s word, He will show you things you’ve never seen before about life, you, Him…

      I pray you find a job and that you find a family of believers who love God and enjoy the sound doctrine of God’s Word. Paul learned to be content whether he had a little or a lot. That didn’t matter, He was being used mightily by God. I try to keep that perspective. God sees and knows it all. Jesus is our portion, our Father knows what you need. I pray to our Father that he provide for you in every way. Father, help Lauren in her time of need as she is crying out to You. Comfort her, give her boldness in her faith, let the purpose that you’ve put inside of her come forth. I pray for You to protect her Father through these difficult times.
      God bless you Lauren xoxo

  28. I’m here because I feel as if I am beyond the point of return. Long story short I became an apostate that did indeed go back to god (backslid) after my backsliding I felt amazing the time that I wasn’t with god I felt miserable there’s no point of living if you aren’t with god. But then after being saved in time I went back to my old ways (got back into drugs) I prayed to god and repented but didn’t have any ambition to stop. After I realized that I could be beyond the point of return I feel as if I’ve lost the Holy Spirit. I’ve stopped the drugs and have been off them for over a month and have no intention to go back for the rest of my life I’ve committed myself to god by prayer every day and lead a life of as little sin as possible but at the end of the day I feel as if it’s still too late for me. Please if you think there’s hope

    • Dear Avery, It is never too late for anyone at any time and the proof is that you are miserable without the Lord. Keep praying to our faithful, all loving Father who wants to help you overcome in all things pertaining to your life that He has called you to. He has seen every one of our mistakes long before we ever saw them coming. God is so good and we are NOT… that is why we need Him and His saving grace and the blood that was shed, the price that was paid because of His great Love for you. I was so grieved once knowing that I never wanted to ever sin again but knowing in my heart that I am breathing and will probably do it again and long before I’ll ever even realize it. BUT it doesn’t mean we walk or run into sin, it just means this life is real and so are the temptations. Renew you mind with good grace-filled, sound, biblical teaching. People who teach through the Bible.

      God is with you, He loves you and He will answer those prayers that you pray to walk in holiness and to shape u, mold u, teach u. grow in the fruit of the Holy Spirit, increase your gifts. When we put ourselves in His most capable, loving hands with the trust in Him that He deserves, He does not disappoint. Live the life He’s given you, follow the lead of the Holy Spirit with whom you have been sealed until the day of redemption. Fill yourself up with truth and your spirit will bear witness to that truth.

      NEVER give up, no matter what, no matter what and no matter what!!! God is ALWAYS there with you No Matter What. Believe it because it’s true. Doubt your doubts and believe your beliefs. I love the man that came to Jesus and said Lord I believe, help my unbelief. He was being real with the Lord, telling Him this conflict that we all have inside of us. But the Lord did not disappoint Him and He does not disappoint us. Look up, Avery, when everything seems to get you down. Your Savior wants to give you a greater love than you’ve ever known. A greater affection for His things which are holy, true and pure. You won’t want to go back to lies, darkness and filthiness. You are a child of God, created by Him because He loves you. He didn’t make junk. The devil has us believing so many lies about us, the world works with him making us feel unlovely, unloved, useless, hopeless, discouraged, then we turn it inward and start to hate ourselves. Cry out to God for Him to change that broken record in your head, to give you what you need even right now to make you think differently. He will do it and I am praying for you and for you to just keep close to the Lord as you know you should, never look back.
      with love and encouragement and support and prayers!!!
      Renee xoxoxo

      • That sounds like good advice Renee. I’m not saying you are wrong but I feel that:
        #1 – unloved, I get this feeling when God is silent. No love flowing the silence.
        #2 – useless, I feel like this as God didn’t give me anything to work with to be successful. No skills or talents.
        #3 – hopeless, 40 years of unanswered prayers will strip all hope away. Hopeless is God ignoring you.
        #4 – discouraged, a life where God let’s everything in your life fails,falls apart, be stripped from you, or is incefficient to your needs. Can’t afford to go to church, no money left for tithes.
        If God wants to help me, then help me. Since God doesn’t help I can only believe that He doesn’t want to help. I can’t make God do anything God doesn’t want to do. Everyone say that God cares about us, silence is indicative of either hate or indifference,neither one is good for us. The Bible states that God is only concerned about His own glory. Jesus wasn’t about our salvation, Jesus was God stroking his own ego. Thanks for listening and God Bless You.

        • Hey Kenneth,

          What I wrote flowed out of my heart, a heart that has felt God’s silence, a heart that has told God that His own word says “hope deferred makes a heart sick” and Lord my heart is sick from this what do you expect from me. I know unspeakable sorrow and pain. Yet, I know that He is good so there is then something wrong with the way I am perceiving Him in all the pain that’s happened in my life. Like let’s be real. God is not our problem, it’s usually us who are the problem or the sin of others that’s the problem. So first, I have to do my part. And God doesn’t need our money. I am a single mom. I’d rather tithe my time or just give love and support and encouragement to others. God says each on should give what he has decided to give, not begrudgingly or under compulsion for God loves a cheerful giver. So please don’t be under a bondage to tithe. I can only tell you what I do when I feel hopeless or angry. I ask the Lord to help me, I tell Him, I know it’s me whose not right, I tell Him that without His help, I will not be able to change my heart or mind. I acknowledge that I have no clue how He will do this because it seems hopeless to me. But I know He can and He will. I think that once I open up my heart to God like that, I give him the room to do what needs to be done. It comes in subtle ways. An feeling I have to do something, just following what’s put in front of me. And I try to walk in obedience and thankfulness for what I do have in the Lord, namely: my salvation, His protection from evil, that my name is written in the Lamb’s Book of Life so even if this all goes terribly wrong for me, my eternal salvation is secure and that will be a lot longer than this earthly existence. But God wants to fill us and allow us to pour the comfort we so desire onto others. God’s benefits alone are a comfort to us. Psalm 94:17-19. God had to really do a lot to get my attention on that on scripture. I meditated on it and now it comforts me and I use it to comfort others. Kenneth, I am not talking empty words. This is the air I have to breath to live and survive. I have seen the devil’s tonsils on more than one occasion. And God is not silent look at the book He gave us… I’ve never received that much correspondence from ANYONE. Think about it. God is not silent. And His Holy Spirit with give us the spiritual discernment needed. You are not alone in your life, if you have accepted Jesus as LORD and Savior, you will never be alone in your struggles or in your pain. It doesn’t mean we won’t go through those things. If I had not been through what I have been through I would not be here typing this to you right now. So be it, let God use my pain for His glory. That’s what I want my life to be used for God’s glory, then my life has meaning and so does my pain and struggles, it’s all totally different then. Should I live my life for myself, for me, for what? That would be a life with no meaning and guess what I would still have pain and struggles and guess what, it would all be for nothing, now that’s horrible, bleak outcome.

          God’s Word also states that woman is the glory of man and man is the glory of God. There is so much we don’t understand about the mind of God. We see things from our earthly perspective and it’s subject to change, why, because we do not see things correctly or we make assumptions about what we experience. God has to be our rudder, He has to be our true north. We need Him, He is unmovable and we are just passing through here. Jesus said the person who follows Him will not be stumbling around in the darkness (living our lives for ourselves, out of our darkened understanding) but will have the light that leads to life (a life that will give glory to God, that has meaning and purpose).

          You can turn your radio on and change that dial until you find the frequency of what you want to hear. Some frequencies you won’t be able to get because you’re too far away, others you just have to search for but they are broadcasting none the less. Just because you can’t hear it yet doesn’t mean it’s not broadcasting. And if you don’t have a radio, well, you are not going to hear it with your bare ear. I guess I’m trying to say that it is up to us to make sure we are following the counsel of God, praying for help, be humble, repent of our sins, allow God to do the spiritual heart surgery we all need. It’s not God who is the problem, it is us…sin, where we are putting our affections/attention. We can only go back to Him for help with these things. I pray you will start to really understand God’s Word in context, line by line, precept upon precept, prayerfully and I know God will lead you and help you.

          Also, sometimes when faced with really bad challenges, I will tell God well I am going to make this decision because of this circumstance that I can’t control. If you don’t want me to do this please show me. Then I will slowly go about taking the steps needed. I don’t ever rush my decisions or actions. I give God plenty of time and me plenty of time for what needs to be done. I find that God is in it all then.

          I also wanted to address that you feel God has given you no talent or skills. It’s tough. We are no all born into a privileged place where we all get a great education. Some are born blind, some with no parents, some into abuse, some into poverty, some with all the advantage one could want. God knows it all. He’s not scratching His head saying oh well, sucks to be him. He is the Master of turning ashes into beauty. AND you can ask God to increase you in His economy with the fruit of the Holy Spirit and spiritual gifts. These things are not for us for to be poured out on others but using them will give us the greatest joy we’ve EVER known.

          I hope this encourages you a little bit. I’m so sorry that you have been going through a lot of pain and struggles. I know it is so hard sometimes and I don’t take what you’ve said lightly. I hear your pain and discouragement and upset and disappointment and if I hear it God certainly does too. Please don’t lose your faith in Him. We all have bad attitude seasons…. but if you are a Christian then you know better than to wallow in a pity party (no matter how serious the matter really is) or to turn our back on God. He is the only one who can help us. He is the only one who loves us unconditionally. Don’t turn from the only help on this world and the next to come that you have, don’t do it. Kick yourself in the pants if you have to… I do it to myself too, when I know I need it. I just have to snap myself out of the devil’s delusions.

          Please take care of yourself, Renee

  29. The biggest struggle I’m facing right now is shame and feeling that, if God does exist, I don’t deserve his grace. I used to feel his presence. I knew he was there and took great comfort in that. Now, I am so full of doubt. I still feel Him calling at times, though it’s faint. I want to answer. I want to surrender. I want to believe again and feel the strength of his presence the way I did years ago. I just fear I’ve strayed too far from righteousness. I feel like a lost cause. I can’t go back in time and right my wrongs and I don’t know how to move forward when guilt is my constant companion. I feel like I deserve damnation.

    • We all deserve damnation. But God is merciful and in His love makes it possible for us to be saved. I believe that Satan is really putting up a fight in your life. You need to find ways to fight back. Prayer, Bible reading, fasting, fellowshipping with other Christians, doing things for others–these are all things that can help. Memorize Bible promises like Matthew 11:28 – 30 so that you can quote them when these feelings threaten to over come you. Above all remember this: GOD LOVES YOU.

    • Hi there I’m glad to know I’m not alone in this battle. A few months ago I started a journey toward full time ministry but began to be bogged down in the mire of my past failures to God. I’ve fought these off before but this time it was like a whale. I tried to climb back out but I instead I felt myself steadily falling further into a depressed state. I’ve become worried that I wasn’t obeying God faithfully in the little things and I started to feel even OCD about it. I became fearful about the alerts in the Bible about sinning willfully and because I was pleading for God to help me with my struggle to surrender, but still wasn’t fully acting upon it, I worry that the Lord left me. I have appealed to His Father heart of understanding over and over but just the fact that I feel like I didn’t obey quickly on everything – that He could have left. My worship life has suffered and my Bible reading too. I try to seek His face but my fear of what I may have done frightens me and makes me wonder if He’s still there. It’s also hard to worship when you think God may be mad at you. Has anyone else ever felt this way? Like worshiping is a battle and you feel concerned that you’re just singing into the air? You see, I’ve also been a worship leader – and to not be able to worship freely is almost unbearable.

      • Hi Nick and thanks for sharing. It is true that these warnings are in the Bible for a purpose. But they are a warning for those who deliberately turn their back on God. Even then I believe that God goes the second mile with us. But God won’t force anyone to comply against his will. You are nowhere near to that state, if I am reading your note correctly. But I think you should look for some professional help, from a competent Christian counsellor. God doesn’t want you to drag through life, ruled by fear. He loves you and He is not a vindictive God.

  30. I’m at a loss.. I’ve fooled myself for years thinking i was Christian enough. Then God graciously convicted me of my sin. It was rough it hurt and I was miserable for months. In the time I was being drawn to Him for true salvation, the Enemy started war on my mind. False doctrine of God only speaks to saved people and of you are struggling that means you are saved started coming to my mind and even from some Christian’s I knew. But the fact of the matter was deep down I knew something wasn’t right. I was led so close to Jesus through His Spirit, but instead of letting go and trusting Him I turned away and doubted. Now, I know the truth, yet its like I can’t partake in it, because throughout all my doubt and sin, I fell away. Blasphemous thoughts rattle my brain, blasphemous attitudes I never thought I would have toward Him. I literally feel my heart hardened to Him. There was a time in my car when I was driving it was like the Holy Spirit said to me it’s now or never, you wont get another chance. And honestly, I wanted to surrender I wanted to be saved so badly but I didnt know what to do or how to accept. Now I’ve just gotten further and further away. I miss being closer to Him. I miss the desire I had for Him and the love I had for Him. Could it really be too late for me? I want to be convicted of sin again. I want to hear Him and fall in love with Him again. I want to feel the sorrow over my sins I once had. My desires were starting to change, I was seeing spiritual truths that were amazing and galling more in love with Him and now I’m so far away I fear total apostasy. I want to get back to Him butI dont know how. I fear I’m too far gone. Please, can you help me?

    • This is not how God works. Rather, it is Satan trying to block you from meeting God. Jesus said, “Come unto me… and I will give you rest.” [read Mat 11:28-30] You are not to far gone to find salvation. Jesus has saved some pretty vile people. Ask God to show you the way. Ask Him to show you anything in your life that stands between you and Him. Claim the promise of John 6:37, the person who comes to Him [Jesus] He will not cast out. Read the Gospels, starting with Matthew, to get acquainted with Jesus. Attend a Biblical church and make some good Christian friends who can help you. It would be good to get the help of a Christian pastor. But remember that God loves you and wants you to be saved.

  31. Thanks LB, I have already chosen to one with Christ. The problem is that this choice doesn’t bring rest or peace, it brings hardship and suffering. You will probably say that hardship and suffering come from the Devil. But I say that it isn’t the Devil that doesn’t answer my prayers. That would be God. Unanswered prayers is extremely harmful to the soul. Thanks and God Bless You

  32. Thanks Anthony, We are all in need of a miracle, that never comes. I’m not Catholic, I’m Baptist so I don’t understand that part. But you hit that annoying trait on the head. JOB is getting on my nerves. Another problem is that too many people only know how to quote scripture instead of just answering the question. I also am tired of all the useless terms like, God works in mysterious ways, God’s ways are unknowable, wait for God’s perfect timing, you know all those “answers” for they don’t know. I feel all your pain Anthony, I too feel that way. Only Hell keeps me here. I pray that you may find peace in your life. GOD Bless You

    • @Anthony @Kenneth @Helen So, let’s forget Job. In fact, let’s forget the Bible. Let’s forget that God exists. Job is just a philosophical metaphor. The Bible is just a book of myths. God is just the figment of the imagination of insecure people. Now where will we go for answers? If you write off God and the Bible, then there are no answers. No hope. No way out. If you don’t like Job, read Ecclesiastes. I wrote a whole book entitled “Where is God (when life doesn’t make sense)” based on Ecclessiastes. If the Bible is mythology, and God is imaginary, then you are just caught in the endless cycles of a materialistic perpetual motion machine with no way out but death. Solomon considers that. He also looks at work and pleasure and money and other things, but concludes that all of them are just vanity and vexation of spirit. A lot of the people who write these comments seem to be stuck at that point in life. It’s a crossroads. You can take the dark road to oblivion and a godless eternity. Or you can take the other road leading to life eternal. Job decided to continue on the one road. It appears that Solomon may have taken the other one. The point is, it wasn’t God, it was their personal choice. Jesus said, “Come unto me, all ye who are heavyladen and YOU WILL FIND REST.” You want rest? Choose it. –LB

  33. Thanks, I appreciate your input Helen and LB

  34. I keep hearing “for a season”,”in a season” what is meant by season, a month, a year, a decade, your entire life.

  35. An existence of misery is what is destroying my faith. I’m almost 52 years old, a waste of air. I gave myself to Jesus about 40 years ago;I thank God for Jesus and His sacrifice for our eternal souls, but can’t find anything to be thankful for in this existence.
    There are only downs,no ups to be found. God does take from us without return. 2014 God took my mother from me, she was the only person I could talk to. Since then I haven’t been able to find anyone else that understands me the way she did. As far as I can tell, God has never answered my prayers for anything important to me. I prayed for healing for my mother, she died. I prayed for my family to get back together, never happened. I’ve prayed for a good job, I’m disabled and can’t work. I prayed for a mate,still single. Happiness, contentment, peace and piece of mind, purpose, sense of accomplishment, the list goes on and on and on. I am and have “lived” in poverty my whole existence; I can’t afford to do anything to help my situation, as everything costs money I don’t have, and have been begging God for help. Supposedly God only does good, if this is what God thinks is good, I fear Heaven as much as Hell. Only in God’s eyes is suffering “good”. If God treats us this badly on earth, how much more pain will Heaven be.

    • Jesus said, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. (Mat 11:28-30)

    • I know that waste of air feeling. That feeling of worthlessness,. I battle that also. I ask God why he brought me here constantly, and there’s never an answer. The only way He lets me know I’m on the wrong path, is by having me fired… does wonders for my self esteem and faith. I’ll pray for you, and know there are people out in the world who suffer like you. It’s comforting to know there are others like me too. God Bless You, I pray you regain your faith, and that God reveals his purpose and worth for you.

      • Take time to read the book of Job. He could have written many of the comments that show up here. I am amazed at the way his faith in God survived. We may not see the reward of our faith in this life, but it is real. So hang on everyone!

    • @ Kenneth Gray & Helen… I know where both of you are coming from as I feel like I’m there now. I’m not going to waste space by going through my story again. But, for what it’s worth I’ve prayed for both of you – and hopefully in this Christmas season the Lord will have some little pity on us and grant us some peace and happiness ! I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m so &€##ing tired of people throwing ” Job ” in our faces. As un-christian as this sounds, I’d like to see some of them live OUR lives for 30 days and feel and experience EVERYTHING we do. The ONLY thing that has been of any help to me is the Catholic story and devotion to the “Divine Mercy”. It’s not some obscure and cold Bible verse. It’s of the 20th century. Though one thing that tightens my intestines is all the religious sites that are always hitting people up for money. I live on under 1,000 a month so by definition I’m poor. I know that organizations need money to operate. But necessity becomes excess, and excess becomes greed. But I hope the Divine Mercy is of some help to you.

    • Hi Ken, it’s me again 🙂 u r not getting rid of me that fast 😉

      I just went through and read some of your earlier posts. What it sounds like to me that you are describing is the pain that comes from living in a world that has been centered on man’s selfish god-mocking desires. The haves and the have nots…that’s not God’s economy. I always say luck is of the devil because God blesses all, the devil’s system gets us into this rat race of if ur lucky enuf…and all the other demonic depressing stuff that makes the soul sick.

      I too have prayed for people and they died. My son died and my mother died. 10 out of 10 people will die. It’s a fact….unless the Lord comes back. But death will never feel natural to us, but we are assured that death is the last enemy that will be destroyed and that we are assured a day when there will be no more pain or crying…the former things will have passed away. That’s the day I wait for! It is not going to happen here. I am going to grieve my loved ones until the day I day. The grief I have for them is the love I can no longer lavish upon them, the lack of their presence in my life. I am grieved daily! But GOD. I know people who have lost family but without God and I’m telling you, I don’t want to be them. I want God to use my life, I want my pain to be used by Him and it has been and God willing will continue to be until my last. When God says for us to delight in Him and He will give us the desires of our hearts, I don’t read that as He will give me any desire that pops into my heart because I know that my heart is deceitful. Instead I understand that as when I delight myself in God, He will put desires in my heart, good desires that He puts there and then we can pray about them and go about doing what we can or know to do prayerfully or maybe just waiting. I know you said that you’ve waited for 40 years. I’m not minimizing the pain you have from waiting. I’m just trying to get you to see things a little differently. Sometimes a little shift in our perception is all it takes. I know I am deaf, dumb and blind spiritually without the Lord. Please cling to the Lord even with this pain, this disappointment, I believe He uses it all for His good purposes and our own good. I don’t know if you ever heard of Corrie Ten Boon. If not, I recommend you watch “the hiding place” and find some of her interviews. She is a good example of God using our pain. Again, I hope and pray this encourages you even just a little 🙂

      • It’s me again Renee,
        Thanks again for the kind words. I don’t pray for things (except for resources to help other people), I pray for happiness, contentment, peace and piece of mind. These are what I need God to help with, what is needed to find this thing called joy. I cry all the time because of God’s apparent lack of caring (that’s how I view God’s inaction). Everyone keeps telling me that God cares for me, this inaction from God doesn’t feel like caring to me. For me, if I love and care about someone I do everything in my power to help and be there for them. God shows not even a hint of helping or being here for me. Even the tinyest definable input would help, but alas there is only silence. I’m told that the Devil is the one destroying my faith, I believe that God’s absence and silence is destroying my faith. So I will say goodbye, sit here and cry until I die. God Bless You Renee.

      • Hi Renee. It feels so easy to trust God in difficult situations but its really tough about the battle happening inside your mind.feeling always deppressed especially of losing a job and cannot find one.having my mother diagnosed of cancer.it is a daily struggle to trust God.but sometimes im losing faith and get upset.I really want to trust God.I guess the hardest part is waiting patiently.waiting for the process.just needed somebody to talk to.may God guide us always even in difficult times

  36. I have been thinking of suicide thoughts recently but I cant do it because I am a coward and I worry what is after death. I am also worried because I love my family and I still want to live, but I want all my pains to end. I lost my faith in God because there is too much scientific evidence stating there is no God in this universe and when we die, we just degrade over time to nothingness. Please help me.

    • Hi Ken. I’m glad you see the damage that your suicide would do to those who love you. In many cases suicide is a selfish way out. Please find some professional help and also give God another chance in your life. Have you called our phone team? [833-367-7884] They would be happy to share with you and pray for you. –LB

      • Hi LB,
        I’m so sad to see that you say suicide is a selfish way out. My 15 year old son took his life. He was not being selfish. He was in pain. He had chronic pain in his body that no doctor could help. He was emotionally abused by his father. He was bullied in school. He was a sensitive and young person who didn’t understand at the hardest age of any age. I am broken to my core that he did that but I have never blamed him for being selfish.

        And telling someone who is suicidal that they are being selfish just intensifies the feelings of worthlessness. They already feel so bad.
        Please rethink what you say. It pains me so much to hear that.

        • Renee,

          I do not think that it was LB’s intention to say that someone who commits suicide is selfish, rather suicide itself is a selfish act. As a multiple attempt survivor, I know that there is a difference. I hope to provide clarity to my thought process.

          The act of suicide is selfish. It leaves those left behind robbed of that person being in their lives, financial hardship, unanswered questions and countless what if statements, among so many things that I am leaving out.

          It would be in poor taste t say that someone who commits suicide is selfish. A suicidal person is not thinking rationally. Instead, a person like myself have a warped perception of reality. They feel feel worthless, undervalued and that no one will miss them, and even that the world will be better off without them. So… A person who is experiencing the aforementioned statements cannot be a selfish person, rather they view themselves as a selfless person, The problem is that a person committing suicide is not playing on a level playing field. So, when mental illness is involved, it is not selfish.

          However, I have personal experience where I feel that there were some suicides are completely selfish. I have personal experiences where family members have done things that resulted in suicide for pointless reasons.

          My great Grandfather killed himself with a shotgun. He was 63 years old and impregnated a 17 year old girl. When it became public, he walked out his back door and shot himself, because he did not want to go to jail.

          My aunt used to pretend to commit suicide all of the time. She would take pills and call my uncle and he would race home and she would be admitted to a hospital for 72 hours, or they would find out that she took nothing at all. One time she took so many pills and called my uncle. For the first time, he did not believe her and did not go home. She panicked and called 911. They actually saved her, but she was a type 1 diabetic and she would purposely pull out her IVs when family was coming. Three days in she pulled out the ports to quickly and went in a diabetic coma and never came out.

          Unlike your son, there are instances that could be construed as selfish. I cannot begin to imagine the hurt that you and your family have experienced. May you be comforted with many warm memories.

        • Thanks for your clarification. LB

        • Thanks Barry & LB,
          I guess I understand more of what you meant. But then I think isn’t anyone who is trying to alleviate their pain being selfish by doing so. Like if my stressful job was just too much for me and I left to get a less stressful, lower paying job, my family might think that was a selfish act. Ditching the job only benefited me and not my family who has to deal with a lower standard of living. They may not see that not dealing with a less stressful me as a benefit to them because the income is seems more important.

          So while my son took his life to end his pain, it traumatized us and set us up for a lifetime of grieving. But he had no way of really knowing/understanding the impact. One week before he did it, he was telling me well you only really love me because I’m your son. To which I answered ‘well of course, you are my son and I do love you’ He was thinking detaching himself as he was trying to find a way to commit himself to the act without feeling bad I guess. There was much more to the conversation but I reiterated my love over and over.

          I can never blame him. As far as I’m concerned he’s the victim and he lost his life unnecessarily.

          But I know that every situation is so very different and complicated.

        • Renee Im so sorry that you lost your son. I agree with you that people are frequently clueless as to the suffering that others find themselves in. They may not mean to say heartless comments but having never been in such a state of suffering it would be best if they simply said nothing. I’ve never understood the scripture “He will never place more upon us than we can handle.” Perhaps God doesn’t place it upon us but perhaps Satan or the world or just plain physical suffering will. Frankly I feel that those who are no longer here have a great advantage as their suffering is over. Our suffering goes on.

    • Hi Ken,
      I wanted to answer you because I know first hand the pain of losing someone to suicide. I lost my precious 15 yr old son. The pain will never end for me or his sisters. The American Psychiatric Association associates the grief/ptsd from losing a loved one to suicide can be compared to that of a holocaust survivor and a combat war veteran. I can’t even begin to describe this pain. And I know it will always be a part of us because my son is a part of us. I’m sorry to tell you these things because I know in and of themselves these things do not ease your pain. But I just feel that people do not realize how much they are loved. I too struggled with suicidal thoughts after he took his life. I can still think suicidal thoughts when bad things happen. But I know I cannot do that to my adult daughters.

      Even in our tragedy, there were truths that kept me grounded. Like God saved us all. God took my son. I ask God to then use this pain so that I can honor my son. It’s not easy. Every holiday, every season, every birthday especially his and his date of passing, it just seems that around every corner is grief, grief and more grief. It’s been 3 1/2 years now.

      As far as scientific evidence, there is tons of evidence to the contrary. You can paint a picture one way or the other. I lived my whole life into my 30s and didn’t really believe in God. He opened my eyes and He is truly God. I didn’t want to be religious and I thought Christians were crazy and maybe some of them are crazy, but I mean even atheists are crazy, but don’t throw the baby out with the bath water. God does exist. There’s a good movie called Atheist Delusion by Ray Comfort and many other good movies on Amazon Prime.

      And I would say that if the faith you had in God was shattered by some atheist propaganda, then God did you a favor, because that wasn’t real faith in Him.

      I hope and pray God helps you to know Him. I hope you find your way out of pain. And you know what, you are probably a very sensitive person and maybe had some bad people around you or bad stuff happen to you and you are normal to feel pain because of it. People who are suicidal are not crazy. Many have been deeply and profoundly hurt in their souls. There are things that we were not built to deal with and causes trauma.

      I don’t know if you’ve seen a counselor, but can you maybe find a Christian counselor who can help you? Find a good church and listen to sermons online. I like to listen to Emergence Church in Totowa NJ. I’ve never stepped foot in it because I had a bad experience in a couple of churches and with the pain of grief, I am kinda burned out right now. But I know God doesn’t condemn me but I do pray He helps me because I worry about the state of my heart with everything I’ve been through. I am trying not to be bitter but I have backslidden in my thinking.

      Sorry this is so long. I just hope you are going to be ok. Please call the Suicide Hotline to talk or live chat. Go to https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/

      Please don’t take your life. Having thoughts of it just show that something is wrong. Re evaluate your life and what is causing you so much pain. Move, change jobs, get away from toxic people, don’t stay in situations that cause you so much stress. God gave us a brain to think and relationships to support us. Don’t do it alone. We all need people who care. If people don’t really know how much you are struggling, they can’t help you. If they don’t understand, make them understand. If you don’t know how to talk to them, go to a counselor to get help. You can have a family meeting with your counselor. You have options. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Pleaaaaase take steps no matter how hard they are. Lots of love to you xoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

    • Ken,

      I would not call yourself a Coward. I would say that you are thinking rationally. If not, what happens after death would not concern you. I have completely lost my faith and I am desperately trying to get it back. I like to think that my desire to restoremy faith means that I have truly not lost it, I just need to get on the right path.Maybe you just need some direction. I hope that you find the help that you need.

    • Ken, next year could be the year you experience greater understanding, he never gives up on you. Commit to living my friend. He loves you even if you don’t feel it. I’ve been there but I’m believing you’ll come out on the other side. I love you

  37. I’ve lost faith and have no dreams, goals nothing anymore. I still have sinful struggles after 10 years of being saved. Don’t even think I’m saved anymore. I’m ready for this life to be over anyway. I don’t think I’ll end my life but every now and then I’ll ask God to take me out. I have no purpose or patience. God can’t use me. I’m way too far from Him. Lost cause over here

    • Please call our toll free number 833-678-7884 and talk to someone on our phone team. They will be happy to share with you and pray for you. Remember, God loves YOU, and He really does want to help you, if you allow Him to.

      • Life is not fair at times, thats why we need rescuing. Most of the time we dont get the help we seek that causes us to lose faith . I used to share a lot about my faith but im losing my faith as well. I dont want to be this way but the frustration is so severe, depression too much to handle.????????????

      • I tried calling you from Kenya but it didn’t go through ,i’m so broken right now ,i feel like my faith has already disappeared ,someone i lend money to just broke me into pieces by refusing to pay ,i feel so much anger inside me to a point that i cant even pray anymore .

        • Our toll-free numbers only work in North America. If you want to call from other parts of the world you can dial 01.878.217.2000 Note however that you will need to pay the charges for the call. Your local telephone company can tell you how much it would cost. I can understand that having someone refuse to pay money they owe you is probably a major hurdle in a country like yours. But I do feel that you are allowing the love of money to push your love for God out of your life. Money is just for here and now, but God is forever. Don’t let the love of money take over your life.

    • My faith in God is gone. I don’t believe in God’s and Jesus love for me. I’ve never felt it – at all. I’ve had so much go wrong and happen to me in my life that everyone pretty much thinks I’m making it up or exaggerating. I feel absolutely no comfort in the Bible. I’m Catholic and had a lot of suffering and abuse (not sexual) at the hands of priests etc and I can’t find one to talk to that either isn’t impertinent or who tries to justify it all. The stuff that has happened to me is not my fault. I don’t even look forward to supposed happiness in heaven. I don’t believe that God has any plans for me. I have no hope for any thing good ever happening for me. I’m 55, disabled, in chronic pain with no proper meds, I’m totally alone in this crummy world. There’s no one alive who cares if I live or die. And if I was fortunate enough to die in my sleep tonight, no one would notice, and I’d be decomposing before anyone would find me. I barely exist on $900 a month social security, and have no funds left to try to enjoy myself. I’m not even able to watch TV because I can’t afford cable or whatever. I’m not suicidal now, but I don’t know how much more I can take. I’m garbage to God and Jesus and I quit going to church because of the bad ways I’ve been treated by people. I used to care about people. I used to help people. And I’ve been taken advantage of so many times. I don’t apologise for not feeling good hearing Bible quotes. If God and Jesus truly love me then they need to show me. I have had so much pain that I don’t believe that anything good will come!

      • Jenyffer, I know it is hard to see the good things in life when you are suffering. But I’d encourage you not to give up on God but be thankful for what you do have. Some of the greatest hymns of faith ever written were by people languishing in a cold dungeon and knowing that they were going to die a martyr’s death soon. I don’t know how they could do it, but they had tapped into a lifeline with God that bypassed their circumstances and gave them a relationship with Him. I think you can do the same. Maybe start by thanking God for the $900 in income that you do get. Make a blessings list and take time every day to thank God for every item.

      • God will help you . Don’t worry my brother

      • I’m sorry you’re alone. I’m also very much alone, even though I’m married and have a huge family. loneliness, I think is what drives people to lose hope in God. It’s crushing. It saps your soul. God says that he is love yet so many many people live without it, so that sure doesn’t seem like he’s keep up his promises. This love of God that we’re suppose to experience is like holding on to an imaginary fairy. I know God is, aside from that I don’t think he cares what we do or don’t do, if we’re sad, happy, rich, poor… Life is hard. if you want I’ll correspond with you via email ([email protected]). Maybe it will help alleviate some of your loneliness. I wish you lived near by I’d come visit and keep you company every now and then. I have a very soft heart for lonely people and for people in chronic pain so I can totally understand why you feel the way you do. I think that you had someone to at least spend some time with, it will help easy some of the pain. Much of our emotional pain contributes a lot to our physical pain as well. Sending you good thoughts!

        • Loneliness can also open the door for receiving Christ’s friendship. But I agree, it can make life very difficult.

        • Hi I’m 27 years old I was born again 3 years ago now. The first 2 years were great. I never had anger towards God or questioned the faith etc.

          Then after 2 years my nan was seriously ill in hospital, I witnesed to her knowing that of she didn’t accept Christ she would go to hell. The event traumatised me so baldy I stopped going to college, nearly commitTed suicide, asked God to kill me etc. I also rebelled tremendously because I just hated eveything about life.

          I hated God for putting me into this world where I have to deal with not only my family going to hell, my bi polar, my mother constant drinking etc.

          At points if I see fire it triggers my brain and I see family members burning in it and go into panic attacks etc. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever experienced in life. I will
          l have to go through the same thing again when family members die and life just seems like a nightmare.

          I’ve been tempted to walk away from God completely because I just cannot deal with it, how can anyone function 8n life with that hanging over their head God knows I’ve tried to.

          I’ve rebelled against God because I was so angry and depressed at how anyone should have to suffer in that way. How am I ment to carry on with somethino that pushes me to the brink of suicide and complete depression.

          I never wanted to give up my fAith as Jesus healed me from a very messy life before I was saved, but now it’s devasted my mentalk health so bad I don’t know what to do.

        • I think you need professional help in dealing with this. Find a good pastor or counsellor to talk to for a starter.

    • Please hang in there! God has something good for you , just have faith I have felt the same way you did. Remember God can use anybody, remember he said it would be the prostitute and tax collectors to enter the kingdom of heaven before the pharisees! Please hang in there, he used Paul who killed Christians and he is using me and I have cursed God to his face and he has forgiven me. Hang in their keep praying and tell him how you feel

      • telling people to keep hanging in there is ridiculous. They hang in there, that’s why they are where they are. NO ONE WILL COME RESCUE YOU..NO ONE. you either make it on your own or you don’t !

        • Really? So you would take away the last hope they cling to? How can that be an improvement? I have never seen cynicism make anyone happy.

    • On January 26th 2018 I lost 3 of my young daughters in a fire in Killeen Tx. I’ve had issues with family members, people around me, and also the woman I was with since then. I’ve lost so much faith in God that I’m not sure if there is even any coming back from that. Nobody charged with anything and people defending people that shouldn’t be defended. I don’t understand why God would place me in jail 5 days before the fire happened. Not even giving me a chance to save my girls.. That is not fair. I’ve always believed in God and never had a doubt in him until then. Lord knows I could have saved them but i went to jail on my birthday and I had no opportunity at all to save them. I feel like God shouldn’t have done that. I am a great father and my daughters were with me everyday. They didn’t deserve that. I want everybody to feel how I felt. I felt useless and vulnerable. I am weak from this.

      • I understand what you’re going through. Sometimes it doesn’t help to just give an empty answer of “keep your head up” or “stay in there”. Sometimes we just wanna hear someone say, “hey friend, I see you’re hurting, I’ve been there myself, and you’re not alone”.

  38. Hi. I just want to share my story, that I’m now experiencing anxciety and a nervous break down, But I’ve seen God, I’m not better yet, But my lord is just amazing, I’m going through a hard time about relationship and family things. I really want to tell it here.

  39. My faith in God is as good as dead at this point. To he honest, I wish that I could just go to sleep and not wake up tomorrow morning. I admit that these words are very harsh words considering that 17 years after I accepted Jesus into my life, I got baptized (June 9th this year). A lot has happened since I first accepted Jesus and most of it has been bad. My now ex-wife lost three children over two pregnancies during our marriage. Eventually we divorced. The divorce led to me becoming depressed to the point of attempting suicide. The depression, while I thought was the result of a divorce that I never wanted, was only one symptom of what was diagnosed as bipolar disorder. I most recently lost my job and now find myself on the verge of becoming homeless unless some miracle happens by the end of this month.

    I realized that once I lost my job, that God was asking me, “Do I have your attention now?” I held off being baptized for so long and I felt like God was taking everything from me to get me to pay more attention to Him. I did and quite honestly, I don’t feel anything. If anything, I feel like God is further away from me. I would pray and at times feel like He’s telling me to just be still and wait on Him to guide me through my situation, but nothing is happening. The same can be said for when I thought that I heard him say to act on something that I thought He wanted me to act on. Again NOTHING.

    I read my bible. I go to church. I go to men’s meetings at the church. I have people that pray for me and I do the same for them. Yet I feel NOTHING. Where stories of Job in the bible are supposed to give me hope in my situation, it instead makes me extremely angry towards God.

    I feel lost. I’m in extreme fear over my future, especially my most immediate future. I’ve read that passage from Matthew 6 about not worrying so many times. Yet here I am, not knowing if I can go on another day.

    I know that giving up on God won’t make my situation any better. But my constant prayers don’t seem to be helping either, no matter how often I keep trying to believe that God will come through. I’m at the end of my rope amd it’s a matter of time before I slip from that very rope.

    • Hi Clayton, salvation is not a matter of doing enough good things to please God. Nor is it a matter doing enough right things so that God will look after you. Have you talked to your pastor about your struggles? I think you need more help than I can give you in a paragraph online. Call our toll-free number and someone on our phone team will be glad to share with you and pray for you. 1-833-678-7884

      • My faith is really being tested. I just don’t like to see Preachers rich and so many of God’s people going without. I also don’t like that many church leaders are the ones who gives the most tithes. I have quit going to church and doing visitation. Mowing the church lawn every week. Didn’t never get help. Seeing others having fun is no fun. I pray but it’s fruitless. I went to Bible college 4 years Oh! That was also a big let down.

        • Sometimes the best thing we can do is to get our eyes off people and their mistakes and get them on Jesus, who makes no mistakes.

    • I feel n understand how you feel cause i feel the same way. Everything was taken away from me . I dont have anymore faith in anything and its too much to bear. I try o keep the faith but deep down i feel that God has forsaken me . So sad and miserable????????????

    • Yeah I know how you feel. Day by day my condition gets worse and i don’t think I can hold.on any more. My faith seems lost too. I hope God reaches.out soon.

    • I lost my faith in God, my heart has been let down and broken by him and I did so much in this world as far as serving this country and giving what ever I had materialistic and money wise to totally stranger’s and friends and family members and I always talk and prayed to him and worshipped him and respected others and I never wanted to see another human suffering so I would even cry and prayed to God to put that person suffering into my body my heart and all I ask of God was the most simplest thing to keep my bond and relationship with my two little girls but he took that from me he took my health he took my strength and he watched me as I lost my job’s my home and I prayed to him over and over again for him to please help me but he chose not to help me and I begged and prayed to him to please just let me die but he wouldn’t even let me die and I watched all of these bad, evil people in the world get everything while his children and myself we just suffered and have nothing, I swear I tried to leave this world on my own but he won’t even let me leave this world and prayed so very very hard for him to release me from man’s world but he just won’t let go of me, all my life I have been suffering, born to a mother who gave me away as baby and I never smoked or did any kind of drugs and I don’t even drink alcohol but still I got diabetes and high blood pressure and failing kidneys and I hate being a black man because God created a race a nationality that everyone on the planet hate, why would he do that, I had no choice of being born and he said that all Men have free will and a choice but were was my choice when I was conceived because if I would have had a choice, I would have chosen not to be born, I hate my life that he given me I hate being a black man and I especially hate the family that I was born from and I hate this world, I just want him to just let me go, just let me rest and be at peace.

      • Jesus said, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Mat 11:28-30) The prophet Isaiah talked about Jesus, and what he would experience on earth. Jesus understands how you feel and can bring rest to your soul. He is despised and rejected by men, A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. Surely He has borne our griefs And carried our sorrows; Yet we esteemed Him stricken, Smitten by God, and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; We have turned, every one, to his own way; And the LORD has laid on Him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed and He was afflicted, Yet He opened not His mouth; He was led as a lamb to the slaughter, And as a sheep before its shearers is silent, So He opened not His mouth. He was taken from prison and from judgment, And who will declare His generation? For He was cut off from the land of the living; For the transgressions of My people He was stricken. And they made His grave with the wicked—But with the rich at His death, Because He had done no violence, Nor was any deceit in His mouth. Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise Him; He has put Him to grief. When You make His soul an offering for sin, He shall see His seed, He shall prolong His days, And the pleasure of the LORD shall prosper in His hand.(Isa 53:3-10)

      • Hey man, just know that I hear you, and probably others do too. You’re not alone, even if you’re unsure about God, believe in good people who understand your pain, just know you’re not alone friend.

    • Hi Clayton,
      I used to pray every day, God let your will be done and not mine, every day, every day. Finally, one day I was like ‘God, I have to shop and do this and do that today, how can Your will be done and not mine!’ I was frustrated. Well that day I had 3 divine appointments. The first one, to me, was the most profound, but you know how God is, it might not have been. But a lady got into an accident right in front of me and I was the only person there to stop. I got to her window to see if she was ok, which I knew she wasn’t cuz I could see her freaking out inside. All I hear her say is ‘God hates me’ over and over. Well I was there with her and helped her.

      Anyway, I’ve come to the conclusion that God gives us a lot of room to do the things we want or like, to seek them out, to find out what we are good at and when we don’t know to just ask for help and leave it at that. It may take a day or a month or a year, but the help does come. Sometimes we are like the man who was drowning saying ‘God help me’ and a boat comes by and asks to rescue him and the man says ‘no thanks, God will help me’, then a helicopter…you know the story, then he drowns and asks God why He let him drown. I am in that situation many times feeling like dumb and dumber and I have to say God I am just flesh!!! I am nothing without You.

      I am not in the best place right now either. I am in trouble. I’ve been through trauma after another after another after another. I just feel like my life is f**** BUT that’s just my bad attitude talking. We are here to bring glory to God. I ask Him and will let him, but I know sometimes I’m just in the way. I’m being a brat. I’m being ungrateful. I’m not talking about styrofoam crosses to carry. My young son died. He took his life 3 1/2 yrs ago. Crushed me to my core. I will always be scarred for life and devastatingly heart broken for him and over him. And then in our grief, someone close to us was stealing from us and lying and oh my gosh, can you imagine someone doing that to a grieving family!!!!!

      Anyway, what I’m trying to say is step out in faith, do things that you know are healthy and not something God definitely wouldn’t be His will for your life, like robbing a bank or an adulterous affair or doing drugs. Instead let God breath on your daily thoughts and creative ideas. Sometimes following one thing leads to another, leads to another and only God could have brought you there. God is speaking to us in that still small voice even when we are complaining like Elijah did.

      God help us all, to hear you, to follow, to trust, to have faith in You, prune us, chasten us, bring us through the valley of the shadow of death but allow us to experience Your great love for us. Refresh us Lord, only You can be our hope and our help. When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the Rock that is higher than I. In the multitude of our anxieties within us, only Your comforts delight our souls. Better one day in Your courts than thousands elsewhere. You’ve justified us by Jesus who lives forevermore to make intercession for us. We are already loved and accepted.

      Don’t be so hard on yourself. God loves us so much even when we like little children cannot understand or feel it.

      God help you, God help us all to throw off the weights that so easily entangle us. Wrong thinking, ignorance, bad attitudes, self pity (I’m talking about me!) etc etc. God please only you can change us. Help us not to get up off of the operating table before you are done!

      We are Your children and we cry out to You in our humanity, in our stubbornness. Forgive us, revive us, we know You are good no matter what. The wages of sin is death and this we see all around us in this world we live in. It’s so painful! Help us to be eternity minded because Your gift is eternal life in Jesus. Please strengthen us for the trials. Help us to love one another as you said. These things are the greatest miracles, hearts changed, love, forgiveness. I know I have to get rid of bitterness.

      Lord, I know You are faithful. Please change our hearts, one millimeter at a time if need be until we can reflect Your love and carry our afflictions like You did.

      None of us wants pain and God gave us reflexes to quickly get away from pain, but in the spirit pain can come when we do what’s right, those spiritual reflexes are different. They bend toward God’s will which causes our sinful nature pain. Our flesh doesn’t want to be honest, or kind or loving or patient. These are the fruit of the Holy Spirit of God, by whom we are sealed until the day of redemption. This is our blessed assurance. Believe it!

      Please don’t give up. God has endless spiritual resources we haven’t even tapped into yet. This I believe and know is true. I pray for all of us in this regard. I am sorry you are hurting. I’m sorry that I am hurting. Moses was despondent, Elijah, the people of Israel, Job, Jesus sweat drops of blood!

      I cried out to God for the pain of my only son dying and was reminded that God knew that pain too. I was not alone. Although it was different. I said but You are God and I am not. He said my strength is made perfect in your weakness. How I need this! How we all need this!

      One last thing, I have had tangible spiritual feelings during prayers. I’ve had no feelings and those being prayed for had the feelings, we’ve both felt it, only one felt it, no one felt it. God says it doesn’t matter. Get away from wanting a feeling. We are praying in faith…period. We pray amiss, we don’t know how to pray. What I usually pray for is the sorry state of me, my bad attitudes, my hardness of heart, etc etc. God answers those prayers FAST! I mean I’ve prayed ‘God I don’t even want my lips to pray this…’ because I didn’t want to change in that regard but i KNEW it was wrong so at least I offered up the prayer to Him. He is faithful. But as I’m going about my day and doing what I need to do, when I’m faced with the things that I have no control over and I’d like to have a good outcome, I’ll just pray a specific prayer about it. I’m asking my Father. He can say yes or no, but ultimately He’s got the best in mind for me. Jeremiah 29:11. If we ask for a fish, He’s not going to give us a stone. But we act, and I know I do unfortunately act like that’s what He’s going to do. God forgive me. God forgive us.

  40. Faith and feelings are at polar opposite ends of the spectrum. We can’t expect faith and feelings to walk hand in hand. It’s nice when it does but it is rare. We are told in scripture that the Just shall live by faith, not by their feelings. Satan is a liar and master deceiver and manipulator of our emotions. He wants us to feel forsaken by God. Even Christ at His most agonizing moment on the cross felt forsaken by God, yet He by faith committed His spirit into the Father’s hand. I have experienced long spiritual famines where the silence of God was deafening and I feared that I was forsaken by God. But then I read how He will never leave me or forsake me and by faith I lay hold of that promise in spite of my feelings. God exists whether I believe it or feel it or not. I heard some time ago that Jesus did it all, all to him I owe by His dying for my sins, and if He didn’t do another thing for me in this life he had done enough by what He did on Calvary. Jesus promised that we would have tribulations (hard times) in this life but to (by faith) be of good cheer because He has overcome this world and by extension we can also. I hate the wilderness experiences of my faith but I learn to trust in that unseen hand when I can’t feel it. Does God care when my life is hard, when it seems like my prayers go unheard. Of course He does. The story of Job is a great comfort to me as it reveals the conflict between God and Satan and unmasks the true source of suffering in this world. Even Job experienced the silence of God in the most agonizing time of his life yet he refused to throw in the towel. I am still learning to trust God in the wilderness experiences of my life and certainly don’t want to pitch my tent in the enemy’s camp. If you ever question whether or not God cares remember John 3:16,17. Look to the man on the center cross of Calvary and be saved. Things in this life won’t always make sense but someday our faith will become sight if we don’t give it up. Hang in there by faith my friends, it won’t always be this way. Shalom!

    • This was the most uplifting comment I’ve read on this billboard. I never realized how many people are really going through difficult stuff and losing faith. I’m not going through anything difficult except being discontent with job, relationships, etc. But I make good money, am in good health, have what most would consider a nice family etc. but also have felt like I’ve been losing faith. So its not based on circumstances, but more a state of mind. Feeling no connection with the Lord, or that your prayers are just like talking to the ceiling, over time leads to the idea that no one is listening, no one is there, you’re on your own. I don’t want God to DO something for me, I want to KNOW him and know that he loves me. Not by reading it in a book, but in a real spiritual sense. And that’s what’s missing, I don’t want to call it a “feeling”, but people need to feel something or experience something inside, or else it doesn’t seem real.

  41. I received Jesus in my heart and accepted Him as my Lord and Savior on July 28. However, I began having intrusive thoughts against Him and God. As time flew, I started feeling like I couldn’t care less. I know I’m a Christian, but the inside of me doesn’t sound like one. However, the Word of God surely took root in me when I started getting along with my grandparents and older brother, who has Down Syndrome. What should I do?

    • Don’t give up. Feelings fluctuated wildly at times. Keep your Christian life up todate by reading the Bible, especially the New Testament, on a regular basis, and praying. Fellowship with other Christians and take heed to God’s spirit when He speaks to you through others or the Bible. Call 1-833-678-7884 and talk with someone on our phone team. They will be happy to share with you and pray for you. They will also send you some free literature if you want them to. Prayer, Bible reading, and fellowship. Those are the practical outworking of Christianity. Read the gospels especially and take time to think about them. They describe Jesus, and will help you get to know Him better.

  42. I received Jesus as my Lord and Savior on July 28, 2019. However, my mind just started cursing towards Him. It’s been making me miserable. My grandfather said to trust in Jesus; my faith is incredibly low. I know Jesus rose from the dead.
    Last night, I just thought, “I reject the Holy Spirit”, then boom! My body just felt a release. I’m incredibly scared, sad, and incredibly numb, now. Is it too late for me? Did the Holy Spirit actually leave me? Did I commit the unpardonable sin? Am I going to Hell?

    • Hi Kayla, I sent you a reply by email. I’ll quote it here: Your question reminded me of the testimony of John Bunyan (author of Pilgrim’s Progress). He said that for several years it seemed as if the devil was sitting on his shoulder whispering blasphemous words and statements into his ear. He was quite grieved over it and thought there must be something wrong with him. I suspect that the same thing is happening to you. Take time to pray. Read the gospels. Memorize verses. Write verses on an index card and carry them with you and read them throughout the day. Sing gospel songs. Fill your heart and mind with praise to God. He has saved you but the devil doesn’t want to leave go. No I don’t believe that you have committed the unpardonable sin. If you had, you wouldn’t be concerned about it. That is simply another trick of Satan to overthrow you. Do you have Christian friends? Get together for prayer and tell them your struggles so they can pray for you. You may be surprised at what struggles they all face.

    • Faith and feelings are at polar opposite ends of the spectrum. We can’t expect faith and feelings to walk hand in hand. It’s nice when it does but it is rare. We are told in scripture that the Just shall live by faith, not by their feelings. Satan is a liar and master deceiver and manipulator of our emotions. He wants us to feel forsaken by God. Even Christ at His most agonizing moment on the cross felt forsaken by God, yet He by faith committed His spirit into the Father’s hand. I have experienced long spiritual famines where the silence of God was deafening and I feared that I was forsaken by God. But then I read how He will never leave me or forsake me and by faith I lay hold of that promise in spite of my feelings. God exists whether I believe it or feel it or not. I heard some time ago that Jesus did it all, all to him I owe by His dying for my sins, and if He didn’t do another thing for me in this life he had done enough by what He did on Calvary. Jesus promised that we would have tribulations (hard times) in this life but to (by faith) be of good cheer because He has overcome this world and by extension we can also. I hate the wilderness experiences of my faith but I learn to trust in that unseen hand when I can’t feel it. Does God care when my life is hard, when it seems like my prayers go unheard. Of course He does. The story of Job is a great comfort to me as it reveals the conflict between God and Satan and unmasks the true source of suffering in this world. Even Job experienced the silence of God in the most agonizing time of his life yet he refused to throw in the towel. I am still learning to trust God in the wilderness experiences of my life and certainly don’t want to pitch my tent in the enemy’s camp. If you ever question whether or not God cares remember John 3:16,17. Look to the man on the center cross of Calvary and be saved. Things in this life won’t always make sense but someday our faith will become sight if we don’t give it up. Hang in there by faith my friends, it won’t always be this way. Shalom!

    • Kayla! I would love to chat with you as I’ve been feeling this same way. Maybe we can seek God together, and build our faith in Him together? Let me know if you’d be interested and I’ll give you my email. ❤️

      • NOTE: be careful about giving your email address to unknown people. It is not a good idea to post a personal email address in an online forum.

  43. I dont knowv what to think any longer.

    Very confused. I have asked our lord to help me. Not sure if he has.

    Does he exist? Yes..? No….?

    I talk to him allot, yet no response.

    • God has many ways of working in us. Sometimes it seems He is silent. Sometimes He works through other people. Sometimes He says no to our requests. Other times He says wait awhile.

        • Ken: Have you tried calling our toll-free number? 833-678-7884 A phone team member will be happy to listen to you and pray for you.

        • I called yesterday. The person i spoke to was warm and kind. He prayed for me over the phone. How much more of this i can handle i just dont know. When does our lord decide that he has given me enough? I hear satan wispering in my ear to end my life. Once i hear him i grab my christ head and clutch it to make satan go away. I am not crazy people. I have simply had enough.

        • Hi Ken, do you have any kind of local support? A pastor you trust, or a Christian friend? It would be best for you to find someone you can related to face to face. And remember that Satan is a liar. Suicide can be very appealing, and Satan will try to persuade you that it is the answer to your problems. But it isn’t. Read the first few chapters in Genesis, where Satan persuaded Eve to eat the forbidden fruit. She gave in to his persuation and the bottom dropped out of her life. The same will happen to you if you give in to Satan’s suggestions. You can also call the National Suicide Hotline at 800-784-2433. Remember, Satan hates you and God loves you. Suicide is not a way out. It will make your life worse in every imaginable way. Feel free to call our phone team again as well. They might have some other suggestions, or might have local contact that you could get some help from. Please don’t give up.

        • Ken, if you’d like to discuss this privately by email, let me know and I’ll send you an email address you can use. I have your email, don’t post it publicly. LB

        • Perhaps it might help. Thanks

        • You should have a message from me. It will be hashed email address. Blessings.

        • My Christianity isn’t productive. I want to be a Christian with results to show for it so that my heavenly father would be glorified. I can no longer pray, study or worship. I think am spiritually dead. I want a revival and a tangible result in my Christian life. What do I do?

        • 1. ask God for faith to believe 2. repent, confess, and foresake sin 3. regularly pray and read your Bible (especially the New Testament) 4. find a Bible believing church and make yourself accountable to it. 5. Cultivate the friendship of spiritual Christians. 6. take time to memorize helpful passages from the Bible. 7. serve others around you. We are not saved by our merits or works, but Christians seldom find their way without paying attention to all of these items.

        • Our Lord does indeed answer our prayers. When we are struggling for answers, he answers us in a way that is best for us to help us be a better person. I am finding it difficult to write or say the right words, however, he is listening to us when we pray and ask for help.

          We struggle at times for a reason. Its his way of protecting us.

          Love him and Jesus always.


    • Hi im Anthony i lost my job un February 8 2019 my car broke down the same month really have a way to look for work went some interviews nothing happened i pray i ask God why me i still pray and kept my faith not today i got a letter saying im being evicted in 2weeks no where to go family turn their backs how can u have faith and keep praying and this is result being homeless and god not answer my prayers why should I keep believing

      • Do you think that letting go of your faith in God will make things go better? Call our toll-free number 833-678-7884 and speak with someone on our phone team.

  44. Isnt it funny. You say surround yourself with strong Christian people……they dont give a rip and dont care if you struggle or survive if your not part of their family or one of their friends. The “Christian” family is a fantasy and I have never seen it except in some shallow form no better or more pathetic than the world. The ones who are strong and blessed surrounded themselves with like minded people and friends……the weak and lost sheep dont stand much of a chance. The fatherless are not cared for but at the same time they all run around professing their love for you. It’s all like the bible describes as a cloud without rain. The western church should be ashamed.

    • Unfortunately what you say is only too true in too many churches. I would avoid the larger churches, especially the mega-churches. Smaller groups tend to have more of a family atmosphere. If you call out toll free number and talk with someone on our phone team, they will try to help you find a church that would give you the help you are looking for.

  45. When I feel like praying to God I dont feel anything anymore I just feel like I have lost hope on him and I dont know what to do because everything in my life is wrong

    • Just trust God because he have a better plan for you

    • I feel the same but most of the things that have gone wrong in my life are of my own making. I lost a long standing job in 2009 and everything else in 2016 including our home of 22 years. I am a people person, I have a big heart. I’ve given up on relationships and have secluded myself from my children and grandchildren, I don’t want to burden my family with my depression. I talk to the Lord occasionally as I feel I’m in a deep hole and can’t or don’t have the strength to pull myself out. Born and raised Catholic, I used to go to a counselor with Catholic Charities twice a month and on my way out the door after a session, he used to ask the same question, “when are you going to stop trying to save the world and save yourself”? I guess I am all used up and tired. I’ve lost all hope.

      • I can feel for you. I lost my job in 2015, after having a stroke and being diagnosed with Chrones Disease. I went through a period of depression as well after that. I understand the desire to slip into a corner and remain unnoticed. But you will never find your way out of this trap that way. Can you find a friend who understands? Do you have a doctor you trust? Is there someone at Catholic Charities who can help you make contacts to lift you out of the trap you are in? I ended up take medications, which helped a lot. My family and friends helped too. Please open the door to someone who loves you and can help you. God is real and God loves you, but God often works through human beings. If you don’t have any way to do this, call our toll free line at 833-678-7884. We have a phone team of Christians who will be happy to share with you and pray for you. Since we have people from all over the United States and even some from Canada, they may even know someone from your area that they could help you to contact. Blessings on your life today.

  46. I came here because, like many of the commenters, my faith has been waning. While I do believe that there is a higher order to how things work, for the first time in my life, I am doubting that I have any meaningful impact in them.

    I grew up as a Christian; a cold Christian. For as longer than I can remember, I’ve thanked God for all the blessings in my life. Never once have I eaten a meal without telling him I was appreciative of it, I’ve prayed regardless of whether the people around me were comfortable with it, I’ve always given money to those who needed it, and I routinely put my life on hold to help other people. I lived a generally wholesome life.

    So why a cold Christian? Because there were some aspects in my life I felt were keeping me from a close relationship with God: Jobs that weren’t quite as holy as they should be, disdain or prejudices against people, and vices that filled the emptiness in my heart. I knew these were areas I needed to improve, but nevertheless, this is how I lived for decades – trying to balance how I wanted to live with how God wanted me to live. I’ll admit, I knew this type of balance was ultimately impossible, but I just wasn’t ready to commit to anything more. I liked the way I lived, and I was very good at it with quite a bit of success to show for. Even though I could always “feel” something inside nudging me, warning me, I’ve always ignored it because I was a very happy person.

    Things began to change in 2015 as my success began to rise further and further. I found it was getting easy to make compromises in my character, unethical things were happening around me and it didn’t bother me, and I was beginning to exhibit the ungodly traits of the people I spent most of my time with. These things made me feel “cold” and “empty” inside and I didn’t want to be around them. I was scared I was going to become them. Through a series of events and choices, I ‘hit the brakes’ and allowed these things to pull away from me, but I didn’t get my happiness back. I found myself on ‘autopilot’ living life day-to-day and second-guessing the decisions that led me to this place.

    Then, two years ago, I felt two very powerful desires. Not in my heart, but more like the bottom of my stomach (if that makes any sense). These were dreams. They were dreams I found myself dwelling on day-and-night. Large dreams. Epic dreams. Dreams I desperately wanted. Dreams I could not obtain by myself. It was because of these dreams that, last year, I decided that it was time for me to give up on the things that were keeping me from a close relationship with God and put all of my effort into realizing the desires that God has put in my heart. I was excited! I was ready to embrace the world through the eyes of a new dreamer! I was ready, willing, and able for what God had in store for me! Heh, I couldn’t have imagined how wrong I was. In fact, if I knew then what my life would be now, I would have never accepted it.

    Last year, I completely flipped my life upside down in pursuit of my newfound dreams. I knew that I could only obtain them with the help of God so I began eliminating the things from my life that were keeping me away from him and I prayed and prayed for help to remove the bad things that have embraced my life for so long. I made some hard – damn hard – decisions in my life just to put me in a better position for establishing a close relationship with God. Nothing was hidden, everything was on the alter, I turned everything over to God…and I began to find my happiness again. I was eager to build my relationship with him and I let him know who appreciative I was by taking several moments daily just to sit and talk with him (even though I did all the talking). I thanked him often throughout the days for the dreams in my heart, I was careful to not allow negativity into my life and I was constantly yearning to hear his messages wherever I could find them.

    I wasn’t stupid though; I’m a realist and I knew that there would be challenges. I knew I’d have bad days and bad things would still come my way. After-all, God never promised life would be easy. But something unexpected happened – my dreams began dying.

    At first, I though maybe I was just having a really bad day, then a really bad week, maybe even a really bad month but I always had hope that the eagerness would return in the morning. When, after several months, it did not, I started to wonder if I’ve missed something. Did I anger God?

    I dwelled on that for a while. I’ve made massive improvements in my life but there are times when temptation does get the better of me. Maybe God wanted me to be perfect first? I believed that for a short while but then I realized that God made me human and he’s already accounted for every mistake I’d make. Besides, my mistakes are getting farther and farther apart, my heart is truly in the right direction, and I get back up when I fall. I made measurable progress and I felt God approved.

    Did I miss something important then? I still dwell on this because there is an ongoing fight with my mind and heart. At the very beginning of all my changes, I heard something in a message once that my minds says “applies to you” but my heart isn’t quite as accepting…or maybe it’s the other way around…I still haven’t figured it out. Anyways, It’s quite personal so I gave it to God along with a challenge. “God, if this is meant for me, then make it known to me with no doubts. Show me the right people and I will do as you ask.” Strangely, even though I felt much better after that, it still comes up in my mind every now-and-then even though I’ve seen nothing for it.

    Whatever the cause, one of my dreams is completely dead and I desperately guard what’s left of the latter one. Like a parent with a cancer-stricken child watching them die but refusing to let go while frantically looking for the smallest shred of hope to cling to. This is what I’ve been reduced to. In all of this, God has been silent. I have done so much to change myself, sacrificed everything that was important to me, and blindly put by destiny in his hands – yet, he is silent. I have given him everything in my life, and received nothing but silence.

    My dreams were good! They were Godly! They promoted his kingdom! I don’t know where I went wrong buy my life has never been as bad until I decided to follow my God given dreams and try to find a relationship with him. What kind of God does this? Dangle the carrot only to hide it after you’ve sacrificed and begin to follow him.

    I have nothing but emptiness inside now. I’ve given up all the things that mattered to me, alienated the people who, even though ungodly, provided me with solace. I have a hole in my heart because I put the things close to me on the altar and now I have nothing to fill it. I feel as though I’ve been placed in the middle of the desert and all I can do is spin in circles looking for a direction. But God is silent.

    God refuses to answer me. I’ve set the bar so low that all I want; is to know he exists, he is still on the throne, and that he still cares. Is this really too much to ask for – especially after everything I’ve done? I’m at a point I’ve never imagined myself being in – questioning whether or not God actually exists. I have nothing but a swallow of faith left.

    • ​I don’t have all the answers. But I feel it is a mistake to expect God to bless us because of all the good things we have done. Jesus explains this in Luke 17:7 – 10. We do not serve Him for what we get out of it. We serve Him because we love Him. We serve Him because He died for us. We serve Him because He is our King.

      ​I’m not accusing you of serving God for selfish reasons, but this stood out to me as I read your letter. God doesn’t owe us anything. He has gone the second mile for us and the third mile as well. In return, we need to be willing to give up our dreams and desires. The greatest thing in life is to serve Him and submit to His direction. Could it be that God is trying to tell you that in your zeal to fulfill your own dreams that you are leaving Him out of the picture?

      ​I can imagine how you are feeling by now. I’ve been there myself. But finally, with God it is the relationship that counts. We can’t bribe Him with good deeds. Instead, we need to get on our knees and say, like Jesus did in the garden of Gethsemane, “Not my will, but yours be done.”

      ​You said you give Him a few minutes a day of one-sided conversation. How about making that two sided? Read through the gospels. Read regularly, and ponder what you read. Ask Him to speak to you through your reading. Sometimes it may mean reading a chapter, other times it might only be a verse or a paragraph. Sometimes you might reread the same passage several days in a row.

      ​You seem to be able to express yourself in words, so it might be helpful to start a journal of your time with God. Wrap your life around the goal of building up a relationship with God, rather than on fulfilling your dreams. I really think that you will find your soul coming to life.

      I sent you a slightly longer answer by email.

    • Same man. But mines is different, im a Catholic, grew up in a catholic family, and 2 years ago I went to some church classes where i learned more about God. Everyday praying and thanking God. But recently one night I thought about heaven and thought “that seems so stupid” and it actually shook me a bit, I felt that i actually meant it. Its been the same ever since. I pray but I feel nothing as if im talking to myself. I pray to God but then i question if he isneven real. I ask for God to give me a sign and nothing happens. I really do need a sign right now. I’ve tried to calm myself down but i can’t. I think of heaven and it seems so fake and silly to think that there are souls up there all happy and full of joy. And it seems so fake and silly that there are souls down there being tortured and being scared and all of that. Everything right now seems so fake. When i think of God or anything related i tell myself “man that seems so silly” but somewhere deep inside i feel somewhat guilty or sad that my faith in him is fading away so fast. To the point where all I want, the one thing I want right now, is not happiness, NOTHING, but a sign, a sign that shows me that God is listening to me, a sign that he is really there. I tell myself, maybe God has put me to the test to see if my faith in him is strong. My faith before was like a bright, big fire, burning and burning with faith, never being put out. My faith was so strong that I put God above everything. But now my faith is like a small fire, a fire smaller than a candle, just waiting to be put out. All i want is a sign, im 16 years old now, i know im young, i know im not an adult yet, i know i still have sooo many years to learn more about God, but at this point it all seems so unrealistic. Why though. Why is it that, that one night that I was praying, my faith literally just almost blew out. One second im praying and I think about heaven and BAM the thought hits me saying that it seems so fake. Many of you will say pray, but once i pray i feel nothing, if i think of God i have a thought or a feeling that says he isn’t real. I need help man.

      • I’ve felt the same way, but I read of someone else who was struggling and decided to live for God anyway because it was likely that this universe did not appear by chance. Whether the Creator looks like the Catholic God or the Protestant God becomes irrelevant when you realize He created the ever-expanding universe. Worship THAT God and don’t think about heaven and hell. Do good in the world. Leave a legacy.

      • Hi Camilo,

        I went through this exactly too! So I was baptized, did communion and confirmed as a Catholic, but no one in my family knew God or directed me to God really. So I didn’t understand and was a sinner. Learned about evolution in high school and figured if that’s true, then if there is a God then He really doesn’t matter for my life. Until many many years later, I was confronted by the living God, who afterwards I realized was trying to give me ears to hear for a very long time. Now I was no longer in darkness, but translated into His marvelous light! I knew I was in communion with God and He is Jesus!! Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I never believed this really in my adult life and thought all religious people were crazy. So here I was blown away by God!! It was awesome. So I decided to find out all I could about God…I wasn’t in a church yet. So I went to the library and found a college course on video tape about the Bible. Wow, I was so stoked….until I started watching it. It was basically a professor teaching the Bible like it was just a book. He couldn’t have possibly have been a Christian the way he was talking about it. But my young baby Christian mind just got assaulted. This is demonic. Jesus teaches about the seeds being sown and the birds of the air come to snatch it away. Jesus said this is ‘the wicked one’ who we know to be satan.

        So here I was completely crushed thinking ‘oh, it’s just a book’ and ‘God is not real’ and all the lies that the enemy was throwing at my mind. Just like you are hearing all of these things.

        I felt like I was the walking dead compared to how I was when I was in communion with God, the difference was night and day. So God gives us a brain and one day, maybe a week of suffering like this, I was like, this is a no brainer (no brain required)… I compared how I was believing in God to how I was not and I realized (or an angel whispered it in my ear! seriously) that those videos were lies and I should have nothing to do with them. So I returned them to the library. I was restored to fellowship with God and just kept walking and walking and walking and never looked back….now I’ve reached some very low places emotionally and spiritually because this life HURTS LIKE HELL….well I’m sure hell is worse of course. But you know what I mean, even at 16! C’mon! Especially at 16. Please know that God IS REALITY! Jesus IS the way, the truth and the life! Either He was a liar or the lover of our souls, either He was a madman or the Son of God. Let’s face it, no crazy liar is going to heal the sick, open blind eyes and raise the DEAD! He said if you don’t believe me then just believe the works I do. Poor Jesus, having to beg people to believe Him. He heals everyone and then goes to his hometown and they are like ‘you’re nothing’ and he can’t heal NOT ONE PERSON. JESUS CAN’T HEAL ANYONE THERE. Now He is God but their unbelief barred them from the LOVE of God, His grace and mercy wanted to be lavished upon them by healing them and He couldn’t. But yet the one man came to Him and said Lord I believe, help me with my unbelief. See he wasn’t like ‘who r u Jesus, duh’, He was like ‘I being honest, my brain needs Your help because I’m doubtful’ He was probably being attacked by demons in his mind too and just imagine how fast they had to let go once he said that prayer.

        My heart goes out to you and I am confident that Jesus is faithful to finish the work He started in you!! So doubt your doubts and believe your beliefs!!! God bless YOU xoxo and honestly I am so proud of you that at 16 your are struggling with seeking God. I know God is so pleased with you. You are getting real with Him! See you on the other side one day xoxo

    • I’ve always wondered why god doesn’t speak to me the way I hear other Christians speak about it! I thought there was something wrong! Now I’m on a slow climb to finding something new! people need God! Everyone does! We need love! We need to fill the emptiness! We are alllll alike in this way! That need to me is God.

      God is in me so sometimes it’s hard to hear “him”. But you can’t hold on to what YOU believe are your dreams! You just have to trust that maybe you don’t know what He does know! It’s all you can do!

      I’ve been there before though! Living a life that I just didn’t want to trade. You can stay there forever but you’re heart will never quit searching! And that innate search in us is my proof for God.

      I think Christians put to much emphasis on faith!
      Sometimes I don’t believe! But when I do it’s like I’ve fallen in love in the largest capacity possible!

      Most people spend their lives looking for love! For that person who they are meant to be with! I luckily have found this person! But even after you find this person! The search in you for more does not quit! Some people take this as they need to move on from who they are with because they aren’t meant to Be with them! However I believe that God is the missing link in that relationship! He completes it! Because he is absolute love.

      But love doesn’t always work the way we want it to!
      Love hurts! But it’s fufilling. And we need it. We can turn away from it as much as we want but it’s only keeps hurting us more and more.

      Belief is all we can strive for. Because it brings hope! It makes those days easier! If you just believe that maybe there is something bigger at hand that you just don’t understand. And just ask “God” to carry you through it!

      I just recently started doing this again! And there is a peace in my heart that wasn’t there before.

      I recently lost my dog, he got let out by a worker when I was not home! He was my best friend and I couldn’t understand how God could let this happen! If there is a God!
      But I turned to him, and the faith that everything is okay and will be okay actually led me back to him!

      Through this experience I’ve met so many loving people who truly care about me finding my dog!
      At a time in my life where I felt so distant from humanity! I didn’t have faith in people. I didn’t feel like I could connect to them.
      Through this experience I have seen the love that humans have the capacity for! And why do they have love? Because they too have experienced tragedy!

      this terrible thing as opened my eyes! And even though they’re not completely open! I feel like I can see farther than I used to be able to.

      I don’t have my dog back but I’ll just keep believing that this is all for a reason.
      And hope that he does come back
      Even if all of this is onset craziness to cope! I feel alive! Even more alive than I did before I lost him.

    • WOW! You eloquently described exactly how I am feeling right now….I have had to fight for faith for many reasons that I had no power over…No matter what happened in my life, good or bad, I always “thanked God” for what I was going through…I am 56 years old, not a child, and all I know to say is God has taken away everything and anyone that I have loved the most. Not just money, but homes, love, health, and even children. What amazes me the most, is that I have been a Steadfast believer no matter what, and my reward is nothing but more pain. The last incident in my life happened today, and it is the straw that broke the camels back. I realize that it is useless to pray anymore, it is useless to read the Bible anymore, it is useless to believe anything other than life is going to happen to me and no matter what I do or say, it is just going to happen. How sad to believe in a God after all the promises that the Bible says happens to believers, only to have the gifts of a life the very opposite of all the promises the Bible makes. I will nolonger cry out to God, as God has put more on me than I can stand, even though He promised He would not do that…Life just goes from bad to worse….I’m tired of it after almost 60 years….That’s long enough….

      • I’m not sure what promises that you feel God is not fulfilling for you. The warning in the New Testatment is clear. Living for Jesus will not be easy. Paul was beheaded. Peter was crucified. John was thrown into a vat of boiling oil. Thomas was executed by archers. Some Christians were thrown from cliffs, some were flayed alive, some were burned alive, some were pulled apart by horses, some were thrown to hungry lions, some were sawn into pieces. Jesus said, I am not come to bring peace but a sword. He also said that those who live godly lives will suffer persecution. Too often we deceive ourselves into believing that we have done so much for Him that we deserve a life of ease and comfort. But that isn’t what the Christian life is all about. We don’t live for Jesus for what we can get out of it. We live for Him because he is the Lord of our lives. We need to have a vision of the kingdom of God that goes far beyond ourselves and our desires. Get a copy of the book “Hinds Feet in High Places” and read it. Its an allegory and it isn’t perfect, but I have read it a number of times and it very vividly describes what I have been saying here. Blessings — LB

  47. I believe in God and can feel his presence but my faith rides on pendulum. My prayers go unanswered, though sometimes they are also answered but the intensity is very less. I have found whenever I dream of something – success in education, career, love and all other aspects I have found my prayers go unanswered as I couldn’t realize any of my dreams so far. Things do happen but I won’t say they are the success I have thought of – a miniature version of all I can say.

    For example I didn’t get a job after my under graduation in Engineering, after couple of years I got an offer at a very big MNC but that doesn’t mean I have been a successful Software Engineer in my job as payslips aren’t fat.

    Another example, before getting job I did my graduation (Master’s in Engineering)under scholarship. Here is another story. I always wanted to pursue higher studies so I wanted to pursue Master’s after Bachelor’s and for that there is an entrance exam in our country. I gave the exam and qualified it during my Bachelor’s but those marks weren’t enough to get into top institutes of our country, so I sat at home and prepared for a year but next time I couldn’t qualify even, forget about getting good scores. However with previous year’s score I could get into one of prestigious institutes under scholarship but yes I couldn’t enter into those dream places.

    Now during Master’s I studied well and really loved the research I did for few months, prepared mathematical model and in the end I thought I had a successful project under my belt though I didn’t write up in any journal as it needs more time to write a one. My love for research has made me realized that careers of Professor and researcher would satiate me. I really love teaching (I used to give couple of tuition during Master’s) and researching on new concepts, and do brain storming for it. However when I applied for PhD positions(in my country) I didn’t get a chance (I appeared for 2 institutes only, I couldn’t attend the rest as there were many call letters for interview )So again I couldn’t utilize the chances of doing something that is dream.

    In fact I got so dejected that I thought to look for jobs. In the mean time I got an opportunity of Software Engineer at a big MNC. After working for couple of years, I started to think that I need to get back into academics because I really love Physics, Chemistry and Mathematics and I think I have good imaginations and want to discover or innovate something new that would help mankind. So while doing job I gave my GRE and TOEFL and in the mean time conveyed my interest to some Professors of renowned Universities, abroad. I thought getting some replies from Professors meant I would be getting a PhD position fully funded one. But now I am mostly getting rejections. Recently I have got chance for MS program at one University abroad which is good yet with no funding.

    Now what should I do, I am a matured individual(29 plus)- at my age women get settled with someone and career as well whereas I am gearing up for some loan and use my savings to fund a new Master’s (next thing is to get Visa)? I ask God why you don’t pay any heed to me and my dreams, for my dreams are actually crafted by You ? Am I an useless creature ? Am I too bad ? Why my dream don’t materialize ?
    I haven’t done bad to others I try not to, I don’t hurt others, I respect all yet there are others who hurt me, crush me, demean me. What hurts me more when I see God crushes me.

    I feel happy when I find his blessing but I really can’t see it now resulting in failure which I don’t want every time to happen . My dream – I would like to be guided by Him to explore Life acquiring wisdom through academics and spiritual quest, spread wisdom in academics and discover something to help mankind.

    • @PB I’m curious why you think that God is responsible to fulfill your dreams? Most people have dreams and end up going with reality instead. It seems to me as I read your note that God has done very well by you — better than a lot of people have experienced. It is easy to mistake our own desires for being God’s direction. Many people have discovered that it is impossible to start at the top. It often works better to start where you can and then work your way up through the chain from there. I would also encourage you not to try to put God no a guilt trip. In Psalms 106, the writer recounts the apostasy of the Israelites in the wilderness. The Israelites were tired of the manna God sent them and they wanted meat. They stood in the doorways of their tents weeping. In Psalms 106:15 it says that “He gave them their request, but sent leanness into their soul.”

      • @PB The teachings of Christ and the Bible do not correlate with the teachings of Hindu sages and philosophers, etc. I would advise you get away from them and learn the ways of Jesus from the New Testament. I won’t post your next post, partly because of its length but also because I believe that it isn’t Christ centered teaching. Blessings on you as you continue to search for truth. –LB

  48. I have to admit as of recently I have been questioning to myself God and my relationship with him.had a bad divorce,lost my grandmother in ’12,lost my aunt in ’13,lost my mother in ’16, almost lost my life in ’17, my new wife and I work hard everyday and dont spend money on nonsense, yet still struggling hard, and to make matters worse, my ex wife not only hides my 10 year old son from me but continues to tell him I don’t love him, she back stabs every single person in her life, won’t even let her own father (much less mine and my family) see my son, and yet she continues to be blessed for being a dirty, disgusting human being while I’m working hard to take care of myself and others, and yet, I keep catching hell, I been praying hard to God, but it just seems he doesn’t hear or care,I still pray and believe, just don’t know what to do anymore.

    • Life can get tough and often does. But God doesn’t necessarily promise to change that for us. Instead He promises to give us strength to survive the tough times.

      • And when God DOESN’T give you the strength to survive, what is your answer? Do you realize how many believers commit suicide because they believed in God so much that they felt hopeless when He didn’t answer them…I’m not talking about answering their prayers per say, I’m talking about filling them with enough of the holy spirit that they at least had a thread to hold onto instead of killing themselves…..

        • I don’t have all the answers to such questions. I do know of several Christian men who committed suicide, the one suffered from serious delusions and the other from servious depression. I also know several men who wanted to commit suicide but God stopped them from doing so. I’ve seen and heard some pat answers from people who apparently haven’t been through the fire but seemed to feel they had all the answers in spite of that. The devil can come up with some very reasonable sounding reasons for committing suicide. He makes it more palatable by suggesting that it is all God’s fault. If you or someone you know is considering suicide, GET HELP IMMEDIATELY. Go to a pastor or counsellor. Call a suicide hotline. Talk to a mature friend. IGNORE THE DEVIL’S REASONING AND GET HELP.

  49. Lately I’ve been feeling myself drifting more and more away from my faith. I feel like God is punishing me. The past 2 years have been so horrible and I just want to see the light finally. April 2017, I lost my mother, June 2017 I found out my husband was cheating on me and then he left me and our 3 kids behind, July 2017 my father in law passed away, August 2017 my grandfather passed away, February 2018 my uncle passed away, and then August 2019 my father passed away (I grew up known as a Daddy’s Girl). Now I’m in a relationship where my boyfriend is controlling and talks down to me but I can’t seem to end it. I feel like everything good was ever taken from me and that nothing good will ever happen to me. I’m not destined for it. I have prayed my hurt to God so many times and I sit and read the Bible but I’m still not able to put my faith back into him. I never do anything wrong and I always do right by people. What am I doing wrong? I need help getting my faith back!

    • @Jennifer I’m sorry that you have gone through so many hard times in life. I don’t believe that God allows such things to happen to punish us. In this life people die. That is because of sin. But we shouldn’t read things into it as if God were being vindictive. God loves us, but His perspective on things isn’t the same as ours. Someday we will understand.

      • My Mom is the strongest woman I know ..My Dad the is the strongest man I know . For way to long now , My Mom has been suffering with one thing after another preventing Doctors from getting to the most crucial issues . …its a continuous battle . I’m angry at God for putting My Mom through all these health issues, as he has already given her a life of challenges in other ways . My Mom doesn’t deserves this at all ….My Dad either . My Mom is wonderful and selfless , its just not fair . I’m furious . Seeing My Mom go through this , My Dad toi is killing me slowly.As,far as I’m concerned my dreams are being crushed . .All I ever wanted was to retire and spend the next 15 years or more with both My Parents . That is my dream .Not much to ask is it . God doesn’t seem to want to make any of that dream easy on us . My whole family is devestated.
        We pray hard and ask others to as well . We pray for others,also .I’m mad as hell .

        • I know these things are tough to face. But God has never promised to give us an easy life here on earth. He HAS promised to be with us and give us strength to face what life brings. These situations are the result of living in a broken, sinful, world. I would suggest that you try to hear what God is telling you through all of this, and accept His offer of help. Unfortunately, I hear this so often–my dreams are being shattered. But God has never promised to fulfill our dreams. He has promised us strength for each day, and you need to look at life from that perspective. LB

      • I would like to say that I have completely turned my life over to God and I’m so glad I did! I’m proud that I haven’t given up on my faith! Ever since I did, I have received nothing but blessings from him! Never give up on God! God is great all of the time!!!

    • @ Jennifer….your not alone. I was getting my bachelors in History and Bible theology. My wife was going to school to be a nurse. She had classes late and gradually started not coming home until early mornings, claiming she was studying late and fell asleep at friends place. While I was fixing my kids supper and tucking them in each night. I was so blind and trusting of her and I feel stupid. My oldest daughter told me she saw her mom texting I love you to him. Once I found out she refused counseling. Moved out with the kids and filed divorce. I adopted her two children from a previous marriage. We had one other daughter together. I don’t even bother seeing my kids anymore. I saw them twice last year but they don’t seem to miss me and they are happy so I leave it alone and accept it. I have asked her back to try to reconcile now for 2 years. To remain a family for the kids. I always believed God, forgiveness and love was the answer. But instead my Christian wife hates me and doesn’t even care Im not in her life anymore. She is with a hindu man non- Christian. This is not what the Bible teaches yet she did it and still goes to Church. Says she is happy and that’s all that matters. I just don’t get her. I question everything now. I was in the suicide clinic for a week once. dropped out of school.

      • @Kevin. Don’t let someone else’s sins turn you against God. Someday we will all stand before God to give and account for the deeds we have done. That moment will determine our destiny. Anyone can say they are Christian, but God knows who is and who isn’t. My encouragement to you is, be one of those who is a Christian.

      • I came to faith in October 2016 and since, my life has been horribly worse than when I wasn’t with Him.

        • I have a close friend who has cancer and is taking chemo for it. He feels worse than he has ever felt in his life. But that is what it takes sometimes to get where we want to go. He lives with it because he knows that his life depends on it, and he has a reasonable expectation of things changing. Look at your life that way.

  50. I have a lot of loss in the last year. I have lost my mom, my beloved wolf dog of 15 years, and recently, my fiancé of the past 5 years. I don’t blame anyone for this as the loss of my fiancé was partially my fault. I have felt empty. The only thing that has kept me going was my two dogs. I know that I am a sinner, but I have asked God for help, confessing my sins to him. I am pretty low right now and felt uncomfortable calling your number and talking to a stranger. Don’t know what to do.


  52. I have been struggling with doubt about God for a long time. I have been going through something for close to thirty years and I just recently found the name for it and it is called scrupulosity. All these years I have prayed and prayed crying my eyes out for God to help me and take this away from me and I never had any results. Having scrupulously is a living hell and no one hardly knows about it. No one I talk to can help and I even been on meds but nothing changes. I have sever OCD and scrupulosity is one of them and I’m depressed and and lonely and just don’t want to be here anymore. I’m very tired. Since 2011 my Momma has been going through cancer. God healed her the first time of cancer or so I thought cause about two years later it had come back and had spread everywhere. Momma found out December 24,2013 the cancer was back throughout her body. Momma fought cancer from then to March 5,2018 when she passed away. We all prayed for her all the time and our church did too even standing in front of church with people laying hands on her praying for healing but it didn’t happen. So I have had doubts about God being real and everything I have been taught over the years but now it’s like I don’t believe in God at all. He had never healed me from my daily torment with scrupulosity and he didn’t heal my Momma from cancer. I never feel him and never see any changes in my life except for losing all my faith. I needed my Momma here with me cause she was the only one I could talk to and tell about all the terrible thoughts and everything going on with me. Momma was there for me for anything. I’m 44 and I feel like a 5 year old that lost his Momma. When I try to talk to someone about how I feel that I don’t think I believe in God anymore they say, so you think your Momma was lying all these years she live for the Lord and that makes me angry cause my Mom did not ever lie. My Mom promised me two things in her life that God was real and she loved me with all her heart. It’s hard for me to believe God is real anymore because I never see prayers answered and I never feel his presence. So even though she promised me God is real it’s still hard for me to believe that now. There’s so many things in this world people believe in so how do you know who’s right or if anybody is. I may be rambling to much but I really don’t know what to do. If I’m wrong and die then there will be my eternity in hell which I do not want to happen but how can I believe in God again if I do not EVER feel him or see proof. You have to believe in God with all your heart to be saved right,so let’s say I might believe 2% that he may be real that’s not going save me. What gets me is how scared and terrified I have always been that I would not make it to heaven from something I had done or said especially with the scrupulosity and now since Mom is gone I just don’t think all of this is really true. I don’t pray or anything anymore. Please anyone help if you can to get me to see if God is real.

    • @Michael, I am not an expert in OCD or its various forms. But I do believe like your Mother apparently did that God is real and that God loves you. However, God makes His own choices and we cannot manipulate Him or put Him on a guilt trip to force Him to do what we want Him to do. When Job faced these questions (see book of Job in the Old Testament), he finally realized that God is so great that he (Job) couldn’t judge God for what He did, even though he didn’t understand why God did them or allowed them. That is why the New Testament teaches us to pray for God’s will to be done. Even Jesus faced this. In the garden of Gethsemane Jesus was staring death in the face, and He begged God to take it away. In Matthew 26:39 He prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” We always need to give God the right to say “no” to our prayers, because God understands our situation much better than we do. You may need to seek professional help for your condition, but I would also encourage you to seek out Christian friends to help you. Read the Gospels in the New Testament as well. This will help you to understand Jesus and the love He has for you. Also feel free to call our toll-free number. Someone will be glad to share with you and pray for you. 1-855-367-8788. God bless you today.

    • It sounds to me like you are seeking proof. Unfortunately that is not how religion works. Religion wants you to live by faith. I was brought up like you to believe in God and have never really been sure myself. I am envious of those who can have blind faith and not question what they are told. Sorry that I cant help you but know you are not alone in these thoughts

      • I don’t care for the word religion. Being a child of God is a relationship, not a religion and certainly not a blind faith.

        • Sounds like you took “blind faith” the wrong way. I don’t mean it as a bad thing. It is not possible for you to completely understand God and it is not meant for you to. So, yes your faith is blind and that is a good thing.

        • My apologies Jason. I totally agree.

  53. Marie Stephane Johnson

    For a while I have been on the verge of giving up. I used to be the first to say God use me as your vessel and spread your word of love and comfort but lately trying times and sorrow have led me to understanding that God does not care about anything that we have put on ourselves.
    I am at the point that I’m asking what is next? Who is next? And yet I still hear his voice asking me to put my trust in him. Pray for me

    • @Marie Trying times and sorrow are part of being a human living in a broken world. Sin has taken a perfect world and turned it into what it is. God will often allow sin to take its natural course. This doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care for us. He will walk with us and give us strength. Remember Job? He said, even thought He [God] slay me, I will trust him. That’s my encouragement to you. Trust God.

  54. I was the strong believer, saw God move in my and others peoples life. Married a man who i belived loved the Lord too. However that man was a narcissist and after i didn’t stroke his ego or fit his idea of perfection anymore, he emotionally abused for years and had me convinced that i was the horrible one. He constantly threatened to leave me and that my actions were the reasons he didn’t love me anymore. The whole time the abuse was going on I prayed to the Lord to save our marriage. Also, since my now ex-husband had stopped believing in god and was involved with spiritualism and communing with ghosts and energy, I prayed that God would send someone other than me to calm him out and bring him back to God, if not for me but for my two children. Once the ex finally decided he was ready to divorce me ( after i supported him through college and drained our savings for his whims) because i was mentally broken and suicidal and he didn’t want to deal with taking care of me, he convinced me to give up my rights to my children until i was better. He promised to give me joint custody once i was better which has never happened. All this time i prayed and trusted God, i tithed, i was involved in church, I prayed, i tried to do the best i could to be a true believer. But one financial issues after another, being without my kids for 9.5 months of the year ( i get them for summer and christmas breaks) and watching the ex who doesn’t believe in God, be able to buy a house, get a massive inheritance (while i still pay off debt from the divorce), cracks started to erode my faith. And now i have an amazing boyfriend who cares for me in a way i didn’t know was possible, who is way more “Christ-like” than my ex was, but who is an athiest. I know the bible says you are suppose to be equally yoked, and that i should end the relationship, but i don’t understand how a loving God could constantly want me to give up the good in my life for him and that who constantly lets trouble to come into my life and lets things happen to me when i’ve begged, pleaded, cried out for deliverance. Told him i could handle anymore tests of my faith and that i need some blessings. Good didn’t come to me until i stopped being a “faithful one”

    • @Anna: I think the key phrase in your comment is “I don’t understand…” This is often the case. As a human being, my perspective is different from God’s perspective. But if we can trust God enough to say, “I don’t understand, but I still trust you…” it will make a difference. It might not change our circumstances, but it will change how we handle them. –LB

  55. I’m done!!!!!!!!
    I’ve served God with all my heart for years!!!!’
    All I’ve had in my life has been disappointments.

    I was a missionary, I’m a great mom, granny. But trials keep coming.
    I keep praying!
    Believing, hoping. To no avail. What car n I do ? Why is God forsaken me?
    I love him. But Now I wonder, is this is all a lie! ????????

    • @Lillian… When Jesus hung dying on the cross, He cried out in His humanity, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Sometimes in our humanity, we do the same. I think God understands that. I can’t explain why God puts us through trying times, but I do know that what God allows in our lives will always make us better people if we let it. The devil, of course, tries to tell us that these “bad” things mean that God doesn’t care, that He doesn’t love us, and that He’s only taking advantage of us. We don’t have to listen to Satan’s insinuations, but too often we do. Don’t let Satan win the battle for your soul. Read the book of Job, especially the last five or six chapters, when God finally breaks His silence and talks to Job. Note Job’s reaction. We serve the same God Job served. Like Job we can say, “Even if he slays me, I will trust Him.” I answered you on our chat line as well. You can email me by replying to that email. Or call our toll free number at 1-855-367-8788 [855 FOR TRUTH].

    • Lillian it may all be a deception. Try life without praying or any of that stuff. It seems that bad things come whether you pray or believe so just go through life as though you are alone because I think we are.

      • But the Christian is never alone. God has never promised us life without sorrow and pain. He just promises us grace and strength to live for Him inspite of it.

  56. justanotherdrunk Jan 16, 1992


    Thanks for your post it makes me feel better/ less bad about myself because I’m selfish/ self-centered and it’s always about me!

    I’m curious, do you have anything good in your life?

  57. I still believe in creator God because the wonder of His magnificent earth is undeniable. But I no longer believe in a God who loves me. In fact all evidence points out He hates me more than He hates the devil. I don’t even know if the devil and God are separate anymore. I think maybe Satin is on God’s payroll so He can have a scapegoat for all the evil and neglect He enjoys. I have served God devoutly all my life and He has denied me 100% of my simple dreams and given me 100% of my nightmares. It is point by point extremely personal ti my specific soul on things I have never even spoken out loud to anybody. I have nothing and no one and about to lose my home as I just lost my 4th job of the year (through no fault of my own; it is always preventable injustice). God is always on my enemies side and never on mine. I always lose no matter how earnest and how long I pray. No matter how good I am or how hard I work and obey, or how evil the injustice. I am invisible to any and all kindness or humanity. I believed all my life that if I ever really needed God He would show up for me. He won’t. And I can’t even type the worst of it. He has lied to me all my life. He is not on my side, not ever. He doesn’t care one bit what happens to me. He delights in my terror and suffering. I was always taught He cares – He wants to heal our wounds – He is a deliverer. Nothing could be further from the truth. I feel like the church is nothing more than a lying machine to rope hurting children in to promise them a bunch of empty lies that were never true. I still believe in heaven but I can’t say why I do. He has fully lied about every other promise written down in the bible. He doesn’t defend, protect, or help His children or His supposed values. As far as I can tell the whole thing is a scam just to suck up praise (and money) from stupid people who trusted Him. I might as well worship one of those false Gods. It’s the same difference. And it’s not just me. This is the experience of the vast majority of faithful Christians. We are nothing more than chattel to Him. Lives to play with just like that Star Trek episode with the Greek gods. I can no longer pray or go to church because I am SICK of the grinning liars who think lying to people is glorifying God. It is not. I don’t think I will ever respect Him again. He’s just one more liar and betrayer Who stands for nothing He says He does. Do as I say not as I do. Funny how I thought I had hatred of liars in common with God but no. That’s just another lie.

    • Thanks for sharing your feelings, Donna. I’m sorry you feel that way about God. Did you know that Job shared many of your feelings about life? But he also said, about God, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.” [See Job 13:15] In spite of your feelings, God loves you. He loves you so much that He sent His Son to die for you.

      • He sent His Son to die for all humanity. And although I am very grateful, it wasn’t personal. To answer my prayers about my specific needs that would be personal only for me alone.

        • Yes it was personal, because he already knew you, before he formed you in your mothers womb. He knew you before even the earth was born.

  58. I truly don’t know where to start. Even thou I believe God is real, I see that my faith in him is hanging by a thread. I see that my prayers doesn’t matter to Him. God does say to pray without ceasing but what He also should said is – That He will answer if He feel like it. In Job it says God let Satan destroy Job’s life. This was to test his faith? What loving father permit someone to harm they child? As much as I don’t want to believe that God can be cruel, my trust in Him is starting to be slim to none. And I truly believe that God blesses who he want to bless and He lets all the rest suffer. Why? That’s truly not LOVE! Romans 9: 18 Therefore God has mercy on whom he wants to have mercy, and he hardens whom he wants to harden.

    • Hi Sondra, and thanks for sharing. I’m sorry for the struggles you are going through. I view both of these illustrations a little differently than you do, though I understand where you are coming from. In a sense, perhaps, God was testing Job’s faith by allowing Satan to test Job. But it seems to me that God had so much confidence in Job that he allowed this to happen. We don’t understand God’s ways, but the whole point of the book of Job is that God is so great that we can trust him even if we don’t understand. As far as Romans 9 goes, note that Paul used Pharaoh as an illustration of what he was speaking of. God doesn’t harden people’s hearts unless they have hardened themselves in outright rebellion against Him. Even in such a situation God often shows an amazing amount of long-suffering.

  59. I believe there is a Christian God, but I know longer believe we are all saved. I personally do not see a place in heaven for myself and fully do not expect one. I hurt the woman God gave me. I did not have a physical affair but had an emotional one which I have cometo learn is just as bad. I can list the excuses to as why but I in a moment of feeling lonily and depressed I decided to turn to my own desires rather than turn to God. See my marriage had no issues prior to this occuring we wrre happy. In fact trying to have another child just a few months before. I did everything God expected of me when my wife found out, I took accountability I dropped to my knees in prayer and I begged for forgiveness. I tried everything in my power to work things out with her with no avail. A short 6 months after the issue began I found my self in court the day after my 7th wedding anniversary crying hysterically as a judge ordered me to sign the divorce decree. A few months later another woman came into my life, she know manythings about me most do not. Everything my from issues as a child to even my mistakes in my marriage. She has accepted me for who and I am and what i want to be. And likewise she has shared alot with me as well. While I feel strongly connected to her and that God did put her in my life. I am unable to overcome the extreme guilt and shame of failing in my marriage. I admit my wife was not perfect and was not willing to admit thise imperfections she put it all on me and while she also had an emotional affair a few years ago herself, i still feel as spiritual leader of the household my duty as seen by God I failed temendously. I truely believe in my heart I do not deserve entry to through the gates. I know people have done far worst than me is the arguement many will present. But I feel it in my heart that I am unsavable. I know people will say thats not what the teachings say that we are all sinfull. But the more and more I have prayed and try to understand this all the more I realize I am not savable. My wife who brought me to god and to the church who has string faith could not even find the stregnth to forgive me. I know people think I am just hurting right now saying this, but it has something I have been praying about and discussing with spirtual leaders for months now and I truely believe this is where I am at and going to remain.

    • Ryan, my heart goes out to you. You are going through a very hard time in life. But I don’t feel that you are unsaveable. The grief in your heart is evidence that God is still calling you to Him. Don’t turn your back on Him.

  60. I am a Catholic female and I had a strong belief in God our father but over time I have begun to lose my faith in human nature and in God. I don’t understand why I feel like this. I do still believe in God but I do not feel him in my heart or in my life. I feel very lonely and I don’t know what to do about it. I want to feel better about my life and the way I feel about myself and God. Can anyone give or offer any help or advice. I feel desperate at times and very sad about my life.

    • Hi Joyce. Thanks for sharing your struggles. This happens sometimes because we get our eyes off God and onto men (or women). Humans will always fail us sooner or later and if we are dependent on them, we will crash with them. Have you read the Gospels? Reading them will help you to get your eyes back on Jesus. Find some Christian friends that you can share with and pray with. If you would like, please call our toll free number and share with our phone team. Someone will be happy to pray with you and help you to find Christian fellowship. The number is 855-367-8788.

  61. Married for 16 years to what I thought was the most perfect husband. We are now getting divorced due to his indisgressions. I am 50 years old and have nothing. I have no where to go. I have no hope and have no faith anymore. I am lost and have nothing. I don’t know how to get back. I prayed and prayed for this not to happen. Please don’t tell me to pray to a God that doesn’t hear me.

    • Hi Cathy. Thank you for sharing. I’m sorry that you have faced these sorrows in your life. Sin so often harms innocent people. But remember that these things are the result of sin, not because God doesn’t hear you. Do you have a Christian friend you could share with? If not, feel free to call our phone team at 855-367-8788. The number is toll free and they will be glad to pray with you and help you to find a way forward. Have you read the Gospels? Try reading them and see what Jesus is really like. And remember, no matter how tough life seems to get, God still loves you.

  62. Ineedgodandjesuseveryoneprayforme

    Hi I’m 26 years old female and I used to have such a close relationship with god and it’s like for over a year now I lost it I still believe in god it’s just that like I don’t talk to him no more nor do I want to pray like I question is he really here with me? I been through so much hell in these two years I can’t bear it anymore I lost the man I love my ex husband I lost all my family friends nobody talks to me or wants anything to do with me my father died when I was a little girl and now it’s like just as good as my mother is gone to Bcuz she don’t have nothing to do with me doesn’t want to help me or have any part of me I am homeless I have no home to go to I have no money I’m having a baby n all these bad chain of events keep happening in my life and won’t end Where is god why am I suffering when will this end when will I believe in him the way I used to I don’t know what to do I cry to god and Jesus to take me to heaven I can’t Do life anymore with this hurt sorrow and pain but god won’t take me I just continue to suffer why????????????????????

    • Hi, and thanks for sharing you hurt with us. God often doesn’t share with us “why” he does things or why he allows them. In the book of Job you see this illustrated. Job asked why, why, why over and over again. God’s answer seems to have been, I am so great that you can trust me even if you don’t know why. That isn’t an easy answer when you are going through the valley, I know. But sometimes all we can do is trust. Do you have any Christian friends to share your struggles with? If not, try calling our toll free number and sharing with one of our phone team members? They might be able to help you find someone who could stand with you during your time of trial. The number is 855-367-8788

  63. I have come to a point in my life that as I look back at all my struggling things keep getting worst no matter how hard I try and pray I look at life in a blank state of being and from a child until now I wonder when will my living stop being in vain.

    • Hi Leo and thanks for sharing. Have you tried reading the Gospels to get a glimpse of who Jesus really is? Jesus said, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Mat 11:28-30)

  64. See this link to our inspiration blog.

    James Baer’s inspiration for the week sheds some light on this subject that you might find helpful. –LB

  65. I have addiction with gambling and this has lead me into huge dept and now depression,and in my attempt to solve this issue I tried becoming a committed Christian but day in day out the people I owe chase after me and I am in a serious depression. I have lost faith in God. Because my issue are still there.

    • God doesn’t promise that he will bail us out of our problems. Rather he helps us to live with our problems. This is especially true if our problems are the result of our sin or bad decisions. But if we commit our lives to him, our past mistakes don’t need to drive us away from him. Could you get some financial counselling to help you to budget paying back your debts? Or get a consolidation loan, to satisfy your debtors?

  66. I have been going through a lot lately and it feels like it has been one thing after another. What do you do when you feel like God isn’t listening.

    • Have you lost track of God somehow? Sometimes we need to go back and face the issue that seemed to be the start of the problem. There are times that God waits a while to answer, but He always hears us. So if you don’t know of any reason God might be trying to get your attention by his silence, maybe wait a little to find out what he has in mind. Blessings to you, today.

  67. If only Job had Jesus!
    The old testament is all Job had and God called Job “blameless and upright” & “no one on earth like him”. WoW! He saw destruction like no other patriarch.
    Jesus said “Enter through the narrow gate.”
    That narrow gate is the New Testament (narrower in size than Old Testament).
    Awesome creator!

    • Interesting thoughts. Job is often thought to be the oldest book of the Old Testament, so it is quite possible that he didn’t have access to any of the written words of God.

  68. Hi… I don’t really know where do I have to start. Ya I lose my faith. In my life I face a lot of challenges but I feel God’s presence in all circumstances & He (God) always be my strength. But now I can’t things are get more difficult & become worst. Of course I was categorized under gentel Christian. My life is mess up. I don’t only ask God to figure out things firstly I ask Him ‘dont ever hid your face from me & don’t let me down.’ However now I’m just give up because God let me. My be he also give up on me or….. I don’t know. As far as I can I was depart from world to obey His law. My I deserve this? During all this gap I fail & I did same misteks. Dear God please help me cos you are the only who can safe me(same part my heat have this pray). I can’t pray, worships, read Bible… I miss Him also!

    • God is always there for us, if we are willing to take His way in life. He will not turn His back on us. Try to find some good Christian friends who can help you to find your way back to Him.

      • let god speak for himself. Never mind all the defensive quotes about what he is interested in doing. These quotes mean nothing when you pray and see nothing happen. A personal relationship with god should have god responding to questions asked to him.

        • God will speak for himself if you let him. Have you spent time listening for his voice? A lot times he will speak through the Bible, especially the New Testament. Maybe try reading the Gospel of Matthew and see what Jesus is all about.

  69. I have been a believer in God all my life. Im not a religious prayer but I do know in my heart that I believe in God and I pray to Him whenever there are things happening in my life that I have no control of and If there are things that happened that I should be thankful for.Until many unfortunate things suddenly happened in my life all at the same time, I’ve been married for 4 years and prayed several times for a miracle baby. I have been diagnosed with PCOS( Polycistic Ovarian Syndrome). He didn’t answer my prayers, I said to my self, maybe He has better plans for me. Then my husband had to work overseas, I sacrificed my job and followed him. Now I ended up hiding in a room in his shared accommodation because we don’t have enough money to rent a place. I am unemployed, no money of my own, sick, depressed and questioning why God did this to me, have I been a terrible person? Do I deserve this?
    I ask Him why do I see the people who have hurt me succeeding in their lives and me who they hurt is here feeling worthless and alone. Is God really fair?
    I always say to my friends who are in need of advice that God is good and God is fair. He sees us all equally, but now, Im no longer sure.
    I stopped praying to Him but there was still a small bit of faith in my heart hoping that after my tearful and sleepless nights, things will be better . But again, His answer is NO. It’s like every week, He gives me more reason to question my faith and to feel like I am carrying a big rock that I can no longer carry.
    If God is really good, why does He allow meto suffer like this? Why does He let my faith be shaken to the point of no longer believing? I feel like He makes me believe in Him through the words in the bible and then He destroys that faith with circumstances just when I have all the faith I thought we have.
    I still hope for things to be better, and if it gets better, I think it’s just meant to be better not because God has answered my prayers.

    • I feel for your hurt, my friend. But remember that God didn’t promise to give us an easy life. He did promise, however, that He would be with us and give us grace and strength so that we could survive the hard times. He invites us to share our struggles with him and he will give us rest. That is a tremendous miracle. People have found that rest in dungeons and while facing execution. The evil circumstances of life are caused by the sinfulness of mankind, not by God. The devil would have us blame God for it, but God wants to help us through these times. –LB

  70. i have lost my faith. i tried to read the bible and pray. i am getting no were. i meet Jesus on my 20’s and i loved him so much. I was a teacher for over 14 years. Jesus sent me my wife when i was going to college. She was a ministers daughter. We had 4 beautiful daughters. together. i was in an auto accident I was out of work for 2 years. during that time i went back to college and finish my degree in teaching. on new years eve, i walked in on my wife having a affair with my brother-in-law. on the living room floor. i tried to work it out for 4 years. but, trust was gone. the marriage end. i went to church and prayed for 3 days and 3 nights. God did not answer. my daughters would come over on the weekends, summer, some holidays. one night my oldest daughter did not want to go home. i called my ex-wife and told her what was going on and ask if i can keep her for a few more days so i could talk to her and find out what was going on. my ex-wife told me, No. when i dropped off my daughters my daughters was screaming. my ex-wife called her father (minister) and told him that my oldest daughter was processed with a demon and she needs to be delivered. The next time my daughters came over. They went to the neighbors to play. about a 1 hour later. the neighbor came over and told me what my daughters to told her. My 4 daughter was being raped and molested by my ex-wife boyfriend and it been going on for over a 1 year. I called CPS. they came and took my daughters for an interview. They brought back the next day. i got into my car and i was heading over to kill this man. but a friend stop me. CPS told my ex-wife what happen and why the children are staying with me. My ex-wife did not believe them. I keep my daughters for over 1 and half years. The courts let them go back with their mother. The man who raped and molested my daughters got only 8 years in jail. it came out my daughters were not the only ones he molested it came up 16 counts of molesting with other children. 1 year after my daughters went back to with their mother. my ex-wife packed up and moved 900 miles away. i went to court to stop her. but the judge told her she could because she is moving down close to her dad. my ex-wife called me told me that i put an innocent man in jail. she still did not believe he molested our daughters and my ex-wife started telling my daughters it was my fault that all this happen to the point my 3 youngest daughters will not talk to me. i have not seen my 3 youngest daughters in 10 years not knowing if they were safe or if they are being hurt again. The only way i found out any news about my youngest daughter was from my oldest daughter. she had contact with them. i started having nightmares of my daughters being raped and i am trapped in the chair. i can’t break free to save them. I watch my daughters being raped and killed in front of me. I went to the Doctor They told me i had PTSD and gave me medication. it helps some. But, feeling of failing my daughters and not being able to protect them. i gave up. and overdosage on medication. I lost faith in Jesus. why didn’t he protect them? why did he let my marriage end, what have i done so bad? that he turned his back on me. i beg him for help. I have not been in church for over 14 years. i am trying to get my faith back. I don’t know how. The only daughter i have contact with is my oldest.

    • I wish I could tell you that our faith can make all the hard times go away, but that isn’t how life works. But God has promised that He will be with us through the hard times and give us grace to face them. I’m going to copy my last comment here, because I think it applies to both of these posts. “I feel for your hurt, my friend. But remember that God didn’t promise to give us an easy life. He did promise, however, that He would be with us and give us grace and strength so that we could survive the hard times. He invites us to share our struggles with him and he will give us rest. That is a tremendous miracle. People have found that rest in dungeons and while facing execution. The evil circumstances of life are caused by the sinfulness of mankind, not by God. The devil would have us blame God for it, but God wants to help us through these times. –LB” Feel free to call our toll-free number and someone will be happy to pray for you. 1 855 367 8788

  71. Wow. I don’t know where to start. I’ve been a Christian since I was a little girl. I had such faith, and I knew that God was always there when I needed him. But five years ago, I hit a bump in the road. My mental health took a sharp decline. I began to feel unhappy about myself and everything I did. My confidence deteriorated, and so did my emotional stability. This evolved into constant feelings of worthlessness, loneliness and even thoughts bordering suicidal. I would cry out to God when things were desperate, amidst anxiety attacks and even panic attacks where I was sure the world was falling apart around me. Even, every Sunday I would never fail to ask for prayer when the opportunity arose. I kept praying… and praying… but it just became a routine. Nothing happened. No big healing like many had described. No sudden boost in happiness that would last. I started resorting to other things. Bad coping mechanisms. The Internet has become addicting, I watch drama in people’s lives (drama channels on youtube) to fill a gap that feels like not even God can fill. I began doing things and looking at things that made me feel so dirty, but I did them anyway because it seemed to be the only thing that made me feel good about myself. At least, before I’d feel guilty about it. So here I am. Stuck in a rut. Feeling hopeless and overwhelmed. I know my faith in God is beginning to diminish, and I don’t know what to do.

    • Have you tried calling our toll free number? 855.367.8788 I can’t give you a lengthy answer online but I can switch the discussion to our chat system. I think you need to find someone to relate to face to face. Our phone team can help you with that and pray with you as well.

  72. Hi. I lost my love and my life seems to make no sense now.

    • Feel free to call our toll free number at 855.367.8788 for more discussion or reply here if you want to continue the discussion off line by e-mail.

  73. Hi, my name is Makena from Kenya. I’m almost losing my faith if there’s any left. I’ve trusted in God and put in so much faith in a particular issue but God didn’t fulfill my desire. I have prayed over it for over one year so i wonder, whatever happened to His ear is not dull? No words are encouraging me right now especially the ones on Rom 8:28
    I’m so active in ministry and encouraging others. I don’t even feel the warmth of fellowship no more, i can’t pray.

    • Hi Makena, I’m sorry to hear that you are struggling like this. I don’t know the issue, but I wonder if you’ve been praying for God’s direction in this issue? Maybe He sees that answering your prayer wouldn’t be good for you? I think it is always important for us to be open to the possibility that God may say “no,” or “wait awhile,” in answer to our prayers. For an illustration of this, read 2 Corinthians 2:7 – 10. Even Paul had to take no for his answer. But that didn’t mean that God didn’t care. But God gave him grace to accept no for an answer. God bless you as you work your way through this situation. [If you want to discuss this further in private, leave a note in the comments, and I will email you.]

      • Oooo I totally agree! My family started going to a small church by our house and from the beginning we could tell they were all “in” with one another. I still continued to give it a chance and told myself and family we were there for the Lors not the people. Well got saved and baptized at the little church and in my opinion you would have thought the preacher was dunking satan himself in that water. The people of the church weren’t happy whatsoever and this story could go on forever but long story short we quit the church and haven’t been to another one! Ps. Myself husband daughter and son in law all excepted the Lord and all got baptized and that was the best thing to happen in our lives.

  74. Hi,im so confuse and empty I have always encourage persons to put their faith in God and in all things they do put God first. I always talk to God before I make a decision I always trust and believe his words;but all that changes a week and a half ago after I encounter some disappointments.I loved to pray and now I find it difficult to pray my heart is broken I feel lost as tho God has left me. I want to feel close to God again.

    Please pray for me
    Thank you.

  75. Thank you for these words.I feel somewhat frightened because I feel myself losing my faith.I have been through very bad trials before,I was steadfast in my faith.Lately,I’m back in other trials & I feel my faith fading.I was always the one people came to for prayer,the one who witnessed for the Lord,& now I can’t bring myself to do it.My prayer life feels empty,when I open my Bible,I see myself just looking at the pages as if they were blank.I don’t feel God’s presence anymore.Could you please pray for me.Thank you.Pat

    • Hi Pat. I’m sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. Can you pinpoint any time or incident in your life that might have started this? Do you spend time in fellowship with God’s people? Here are a few things you could try. 1. Memorize encouraging scriptures. 2. Start a small prayer / study / accountability group (you may have friends who feel the same way). 3. Spend some time fasting and praying. If you are in North America, you could call our toll free number [1-855-367-8788] and speak with someone on our prayer team. They would be happy to share with you and pray with you. Note that these comments are public. If you would like to contact me privately, you can click on the chat box. Even if I’m not online, you can leave a message which will switch our conversation over to email. Blessings. Remember Jesus said: “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”
      (Mat 11:28-30 NKJV)

      • Hi pat, I need help I’m losing my faith in god. I been through a lot in life from loosing my father to loosing it all I got used by a close family member who robbed me and used me for everything I had. I moved on with my life have kids now I ended up reuniting with that family member who destroyed my life forgave him got him back in my life when he was at his lowest now he ended up coming up being successful with his life and kicked me to the curb. I am sick of being used I have two beautiful kids all I do is pray for a job at least to provide for my family nothing I do seems to go my way I been depressed for years now I am going nuts not knowing what else to do I am loosing my faith in god. I still pray every morning and night I have kneeled crying for help it’s like talking to a wall. I do not understand how my family member who has robbed used me has done horrible things to me can be living such a good life while I’m struggling when all I have done is good to others I don’t think I deserve this. I keep praying asking god why me what have I ever done to deserve this. I lost my father who was the only one who has ever had my back and now this family member who I once looked up to has destroyed me god doesn’t seem to make my days any brighter I wake up crying go to sleep crying what’s my purpose of being here. Please help me understand it’s been years of this I cannot take it any longer

        • Have you tried reading the book of Job? Job didn’t understand why things went wrong for him either. But he kept his faith in God in spite of that. I can’t tell you why God allows some people to suffer like this and others seem to have things go their way all through life. I don’t think this has anything to do with what you deserve or don’t deserve. However God is sovereign and has the right to plan our pathway for us. Go to https://gospelbillboards.org/free-books/ on this website and order the free book by Gary Miller, HOW CAN ANYONE SAY GOD IS GOOD? You might find it helpful.

        • Oooh boy seems like my life to the T. Ive found GOD throughout all this, everyone I know tells me I try harder than anyone, but yet my kids and I are sleeping on floors with roaches it’s so funny to me because I have told GOD im out of moves, I have no more lives left. I began to feel the Holy Spirit giving me hope, but it’s like my situation gets even more trying, I DONT understand how the average human is supposed to get through this when u don’t have the tools u need… My faith is literally the size of a seed

        • I hope things get better. I feel the exact way crying as I type

    • Hi Pat. I can relate to your comments. I don’t know why you are struggling the way you are. You didn’t specify how you reached that point that you find yourself in. But I can say that each of us has reasons to why we end up losing faith, questioning, doubting, etc. It sounds like you are going through what the saints of old called the Dark Night of the Soul. Many strong, Godly people have gone through that and from what I can ascertain, this often occurs with men and women of faith. Men and women who love the Lord who suddenly find themselves in a dark pit of despair. We need only to look at the Scriptures to see examples of people who lost hope and faith. The Psalms are filled with similar thoughts.

      My story is long which I won’t go into now except to say that I can relate to your comments. After serving in missions, people used to come to me because they thought I was stronger in my faith (not). It looked that way but that was not true. We are all on this journey that consists of highs and lows. Sometimes those lows can seem to last for a very long time. One pastor I know of has preached on this sharing that he went through a lengthy dark time of about 7 years (?). I thought three years has been bad. Yikes. Things took a turn for me when I was forced to move out of my wonderful small mother in law apartment that I loved until the owners sold their house. I had planned to live there until the day I died. I had little choice of where I could move due to my financial limitations. I was not informed when I moved to where I am at that they had grandfathered in the smokers that lived here before they changed their smoking policy. I am allergic to tobacco and get very sick around cigarettes. My neighbor downstairs chain-smokes which filters up through the ventilation system. They said it was non-smoking but it technically isn’t. Since moving here, my health has seriously deteriorated because of someone else’s habit. I’ve tried to find other places to live but on my income of $941/month, where will I find something that will be healthy? The inner city, where violence is the norm would be my only option. An older woman (well, okay–65), I can’t defend myself if something happened. So here I sit stuck, inhaling someone else’s ugly smoking habit getting sicker by the day. If anything, this has brought out feelings of powerlessness that can lead to anger. One would hope one could turn to God at times like that to deliver them as He claims He will do in Psalm 50. But WHAT if He DOESN’T? THEN what? Meanwhile, the financial burdens keep piling up. Needless to say, it has been impossible to find a decent place to live that is safe and healthier. I have prayed & prayed asking and claiming His promises that He says He “WILL” fulfill. But what does a person do when the silence from Him becomes deafening? I reached a point where I lost hope believing that He even cares. Is He sitting on His Throne with a bowl of popcorn enjoying the life-movie? I feel like Sarah, Abraham’s wife when she laughed at hearing the news. I can just see her now: “Oh sure, yeah, right, Abe! Tell me another good one…” I imagine she must have at least wanted to say that, if she didn’t. But all that to say to you, Pat that I UNDERSTAND your feelings. While a part of me wants to give up to challenge God, another part says, I WANT to hope, I WANT to hang on, but I’m losing my grip. What then? A friend once told me the concept of cliff jumping as he referred to it. We don’t know what He can do until we let go of our hold and let Him catch us. That IS HARD.

      Lest I forget, though I am not one to blame Satan on the bad that happens but I do believe that Satan is very much alive and well and is attempting, through his minions, to attack as many Christians as possible and kill and destroy each one’s faith. The question I ask myself is, Am I going to let Him win? God tells us that the battle is not ours but HIS. Perhaps we should respectfully challenge Him. Doesn’t He also say, “prove Me, test Me…” (Though that passage refers to a different situation, the concept remains the same.) Charles Spurgeon who fought terrible depression once said ‘What earthly father doesn’t like it when his child reminds him of the promises his/her daddy made?’ As the child reminds her Father it indicates that the child has paid close attention to what her father has said. This DELIGHTS the heart of God. “Abba daddy You promised that…”

      I also think of the Psalmist who said, “HOW LONG, O Lord will You forget me forever? HOW LONG will You hide Tour face from me? HOW LONG must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day?” (Ps 13:1-2). That echoes my heart.

      Psalm 30 also says, “You hid your face; I was dismayed. To You, O Lord, I cry, and to the Lord I plead for mercy: “What profit is there in my death if I go down to the pit? Will the dust praise You? Will it tell of Your faithfulness? Hear, O Lord, and be merciful to me! O Lord, BE MY helper!”

      Ironically, Isa 40 gives us insights into God’s heart when He said to Jacob, “Why do you complain, Jacob? Why do you say, Israel, “MY WAY IS HIDDEN FROM THE LORD; MY CAUSE IS DISREGARDED BY MY GOD?” V. 27 It appears that when God asked Jacob this question, it reveals to us that what we’re suffering is not overlooked by Him. He is El Roi, the God who Sees. Therefore, the next time we are tempted to say “enough!” let’s remember truth, not manipulative lies.

      In short, I wish I could say that things will “poof!” suddenly get better. But He does tell us that He will carry us. And, this is where faith must take precedence over feelings. If you’re like me, you might live by feelings which can be a dangerous thing because, as we all know, feelings are deceptive and cannot be relied upon as truth. But God’s Word can.

      You are not alone. “A bruised reed, He will NOT break.” May God show you His mercy and kindness. Blessings, Pat.

      • Pat,

        I hardly have the words….. But, I had to respond. I am, and have been, going through a dark night of the soul for many years now. I have read countless platitudes and heard more than my share of prosperity messages….enough to anger me towards my own brothers and sisters within the body of Christ….

        I am beyond tired of hearing people throwing the book of Job arounf as “the answer” because they’ve nothing better to offer (despite their best intentions).

        I am at the lowest place in my life that I have ever been, and the truth is that I may not outlast this visceral despair and grief. But, I wanted to let you know that your reply was one of the most sincere and beautiful that I’ve ever come across. Your faith, your knowledge of the Scriptures, and your graceful perseverance are a true testament and are so beautiful. I wept as I read your words of validation and encouragement.

        You have a beautiful gift. May God bless you, my sister. <3

    • I understand. IAM going through this it seems like forever. Please pray for me too. I just feel sick so much.

  76. Dear brother in Christ, I have gone through your wordings. They are so comforting. Let me share my experience. When ever I go out on some important work I always seek God’s word in the form his promise and start the work. But, I fail in that work, though I read Bible everyday. This is giving me lot of depression, because not man to trust but seek only his word to guide me. But all his promises never accomplished in my case. I am loosing hope and faith in God. I barely used to tell everyone that I am a converted Christian. But, everyone will ask what your god did to you. Believing idols we and you stand in the same position..Please help me to go back to his presence with faith.


    • Sometimes people serve God for what they can get out of it. The New Testament doesn’t support the common idea that God is required to give us lots of money and other blessings if we serve Him. Rather, our reward is in knowing that we love Him and obey Him. Blessings to you as you serve God.

      • What do you do when you have no where to live but with a family that treats you like a stranger but yet lets strangers in? They serve in the church but when they get home true colors come out. Why does God allow such people to to serve in the church? I know we aren’t perfect but these people are two faced and it hurts because it’s my daughter so I question God and don’t understand why?

        • @Kim. Thanks for your comment. Unfortunately, people do not always do what God wants them to do. He will not force people to do what is right. Often in such situations, innocent people suffer because of someone else’s sin. Keep praying for your family and return good for evil. They may never change, but you will receive a blessing for it. LB

      • A “reward” is not what one gives but what one “receives.” loving and obeying Good is a service /gift to God and not a reward.

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