Feb 11, 2020
Good Morning Fellow Travelers,
Read: Romans 8:18-30
“I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee.” Job 42:5
It has taken almost twelve years, but the Lord has finally brought me to the place that He had always intended for me. A place where I cannot take one step without my hand in His hand. Some days with Parkinson’s are better than others, but the trend is pronounced. He has allowed me to be so weakened in my legs that sometimes they will hardly bear my body weight anymore. Now, the only way to get around is to constantly reach out my hand for a doorjamb or doorknob or to take a hand that reaches out to me. God has brought me to full dependence on Him. It is where He wanted me all along.
Now when my body freezes into immobility until it will not move, I must look into His face and say, “The next move is your move, Lord.”
He has peeled away the facade of my own strength and shown me the weakness of my selfish love and boastful independence. I used to complain and argue with Him, but He has taught me something. He has taught me that my complaints, arguments, and anxieties are a denial of His sovereign right to have His will in my life and body. My journey has taught me also that if I get completely out of the way, maybe, just maybe, He can yet use my handicapped efforts to the praise of His glory.
Besides bringing me to where He always wanted me to be, He has also brought me to where I have always wanted to be—in His hand. At first it surprised me and then the realization dawned. This is exactly what I have always longed for—to be in the embrace of the loving hands of the heavenly, merciful Father and to be completely dependent on Him.
It was formerly, “Horrible Parkinson’s.” Now I can call this journey “Parkinson’s with a purpose.” Maybe you can put your personal infirmity or trial in the title of your journey, like “Cancer with a purpose.”
God wants us in His hand. He sometimes takes what seem to be very drastic measures to accomplish this and get our attention. We wake up one morning to the truth. We are exactly where we have always longed to be . . . just in His hands.
Why do I share this? Maybe God wants to teach you, and you are missing it. Try not to miss this.
~ James Baer
Bro. James wrote this essay about four years ago.